Sunday, March 28, 2010

Explain This To Me

I am going on a trip to Alaska this summer. I am not a drinker which is too bad because anything short of 48 proof I can take on a plane by the gallon and if I drink myself into a stuper and make your life a living hell on the plane well so be it. I am a cigar smoker. I have a small gold plated lighter with my initials on it. Because it is a "cigar" lighter I.E. a "torch" lighter and I can not even pack my cigar lighter in my luggage. How fucking stupid is this? How in the world am I going to do anything that would endanger anybody with a lighter that is in my suitcase in the luggage compartment? I have a cigar cutter, well several actually, but the one I like has a top that pops up that you insert into the cap of the cigar (cigar punch) and it makes a hole in the cap from which you draw the smoke. That's probably illegal as well. I mean that could be used as a weapon to um...um...cause an unsightly ring on your hand that goes away if you rub it.

6 comments:

et said...

Well, Count, conceivably you might threaten a flight attendant with lighting her logo-strewn scarf on fire if you didn't get extra peanuts, or something. You're ripe for profiling, clearly. ;-p

Anonymous said...

Gee, Count.

Sounds like never in your life you've gotten a speeding ticket, or a jay walking ticket.

The officer always mindful of duty will tell you:

"It is for your safety"

And you better shut up, it is for your own safety.

Really. Open your trap in you'll land yourself in more hot water.

Mr.GlennBovineKoldys

same2u said...

I have wondered about that too. Only thing I can think of is they think somebody can remotely detonate something from the plane.

john t said...

On most planes you're allowed to carry on a Bic disposable lighter or matches, but not a metal Zippo or other kind of lighter. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

Count Istvan said...

Yeah you can carry on Cigarette lighters. They obviously have a much better lobby.

john t said...

My wife was flying to Rhode Island once and she had a small Zippo lighter I had given her. Well they took the lighter and told her they'd mail it back to her for $15.00. That was more than the lighter cost. She said no thanks.

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