Friday, June 24, 2011

New York Senate Passes Same Sex Marriage 33-29.

Yes I believe same sex marriage/divorce bills should be passed in all 50 states...actually I believe states should NOT HAVE TO PASS THEM. And no Todd and Jim getting married in Olean has no earthly effect on your marriage one way or the other.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

He May Be 21st Century Bond But He's Still Classic.

A funny thing about cigars, well a good cigar at any rate, the first five or six puffs are often harsh enough to gag a maggot. The middle of the cigar settles down into an even and pleasant taste on your palate. The final 3rd of the cigar however is so smooth and good it leaves you forgetting those first few wretched puffs and wanting to light up another. Certainly nothing about the latest James Bond novel Carte Blanche by Jeffery Deaver is wretched unless you can't get over the fact that Ian Fleming hasn't awakened from the grave to write it in which case get over it because he isn't going to anytime soon. That's not to say there aren't good reasons for disliking the book. good ol' "Mark A" for instance didn't like it because of the brand of sunglasses Bond wears. And you wonder why I call these clowns nerd boys? Not fan boys, nerd boys they look for reasons to hate things. Anyway I digress this review is about Carte Blanche not idiot nerd boys.

James Bond is in his 30's in 2011 and is a veteran of the Afghanistan war. I have no problem with the update to the character in fact I think it's quite smart. Remember even Ian Fleming was updating the character when he was alive. At first Bond was born in 1920 then by You Only Live Twice 1924. Now Bond was born sometime in the late 70's no big deal. I only have one issue with the update and this goes beyond the world of Bond but to the society in which he is created. He's given up the Cancer sticks bully for him. But he still drinks like a fish. Nobody will ever explain why liquor which will kill you faster than tobacco doesn't get the same rap. Now this is not something I am willing to trash the book about and give it one star I am just saying.

The character of Bond isn't terribly different than he's ever been. He's more liberal if only slightly so. Of course Fleming's Bond was a proper Teabagger until of course John F. Kennedy plugged Fleming's books then he just became a proper conservative. This Bond doesn't like the term Coloreds or Coloureds. My we've grown up since Live and Let Live haven't we Mr. Bond. N**ger Heaven ring a bell? Felix Liter and Rene Mathis are thrown in though seemingly only to throw them in and M is once again Miles Messervy not Barbara Mawdsley. Sorry Judith Dench.

I am not going to get into any spoilers I will say that John Cox over at the Book Bond wrote an excellent review and it's worth reading. Really his entire Blog is fantastic. Cox is a fan boy not a nerd boy. The book is really 404 pages at least the American version which I would imagine is the same as the British though that is not always the case. There are a few pages of glossary in the back in case you get mixed up with all the differant intelligence, spy and police offices involved in the book. Do not be put of by the fact it is the longest Bond novel to date nor that it took me 8 days to read it. Even the slowest of readers could knock this off in 3 days with out much problem. So why did it take me 8? I was savoring it. Really it's not a tough read and the pages do fly by.

The Villain or Villains continue the latest Bond phenomenon of being environmentalist and do- gooders. Severan Hydt is man who made a fortune with his international trash collecting business. He get's off on pictures of dead bodies. I'll say no more other than I like that fact that the bad folks in Carte Blanche have their good sides. (ridding the world of rubbish is a good thing is it not?) Makes them more of a human character.

There are 3 women. They are all well written and presented. I agree with Cox's review that in many ways Carte Blanche apes John Gardner's style but thankfully at no point does Bond mourn the loss of the love of his life only to shag another woman 6 pager later. In fact the Sex and Action are there of course but they are not there in over-abundance. The book is none the worse for their long absences though. There are a lot of plot twists most of them good though again I agree with Cox's opinion on the Dubai section of the book. I almost felt like Deaver had kicked a chair out from under me by the end of that section. It's one of the few missteps of the novel. There is violence lots of it especially in the last 100 pages. And it's the last 100 pages where the book really brings the goods ergo the Cigar reference.

At no point was I ever unhappy or not liking Carte Blanche but until the last 100 pages I was thinking of calling this the best Gardner Bond that Garnder had never written and commenting that Carte Blanche was a vindication of what he wanted to do with the Character of James Bond. Bring him into the real world. Maybe Deaver was given more leeway to more successfully flesh out a more real character in a more real world. I do not make the comparison to belittle Gardener nor insult Carte Blanche Garnder wrote some very entertaining Bond novels though Carte Blanche is better than any of them with the possible exception of Nobody Lives For Ever.

I would love to see Carte Blanche turned into a movie (that will never happen) I would also love to see Deaver get the go ahead to write another Bond novel (that might happen) I believe his second effort will be even better than his very good first effort. There is a certain percentage of people who were going to hate the book no matter what. Fleming didn't write it, An American wrote it, They didn't write it, Bond uses the wrong foot cream you name it. Bottom line is Carte Blanche is a great James Bond novel. One of the best continuation novels yet written although I must say By Royal Command the last proper young Bond novel by Charlie Higson was a just a little bit better. Still Carte Blanche is a triumph. **** 1/2 *****

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

We Get Hate Posts

Left On A Thread 2 week old (Because that's manly thing to do)

Mister Gordons said...

There is stupid, fucking stupid, and then there is YOU. Wow, what a fucktard!

Mister Gordon's didn't like me calling attention to some of the comments collected of at FSTDT. Obviously from his language Mr. Gordon's his himself a Fundy Christian who loves his fellow man.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Why Vancouver?

Funny almost none of these idiots look either Black, Muslim or Mexican.

I guess this also happened in 1994. Sad. A big part of the problem is that when the riot started it was only 8:20 at night. The fucking morons had a lot of time to destroy the city all in the name of losing the Stanley Cup.

I want to comment on a few things I have heard: These are not fans but hooligans and thugs who would riot given any reason. Partly but not totally true. Many of these folks were wearing Canucks clothing and chanting Bruins suck. How were they not fans?

Alcohol has nothing to do with it: So completely false that just saying false isn't enough. Of course it has to do with Alcohol. These fools have been drinking all day according the bar owners and liquor store owners who liquored these fools up.

This is a small segment of people in Vancouver they do not represent the city of Vancouver: Absolutely true. This is always true. Even the shitheads who riot in Los Angeles are bigger shitheads than your average shithead who lives in LA. The difference is LA sucks Vancouver does not. The damage these fucking morons are doing to that beautiful city is just sad and pathetic. Why because you lost a game. And let's be clear you weren't screwed out of the Stanley Cup you got beat. In the 4 games you lost including the last 2 games when you had a 3-2 lead you got blasted. But hey overturn some cars and burn down some businesses that will make it all better. Yes we do this in America, though Dallas earlier this week was for the most part calm as is Boston tonight but I thought Vancouver was better than this. That's a great city going up in smoke tonight and a damned shame.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The View From My Ass

I have long since had a theory on the origins of Hockey. Some people up in I don't know Edmonton, Halifax, Yellowknife, St. Johns, somewhere in Canada said Christ we love Soccer but we have like 6 days all year that we can actually play the sport. Then one of them had a brain storm some September when the entire town froze over. He got out a stick and a ball of black tape and invented away to play what he called Ice Soccer later to be renamed Ice Hockey. Think about it other than the facts that one is played on Ice and one on grass and one involves sticks and the other feet they are the same damned sport. Now I am no real fan of either sport but I did watch the world cup last year and I did watch period 3 of the Stanley Cup last night. Vancouver is such a wonderful city, it really is. It seems to get right what American cities get wrong BUT I am rooting for Boston. I am a long time Celtics fan, I root for the RedSox when they are in the series (as much as I can bring myself to care) so I gotta go with the Bruins because Boston's been good to me. I do draw the line at The Patriots however. I can't root for them and besides they are in Foxborough not Boston right? Anyway I watched period 3 of game 6 and I have come to a conclusion, well 2 or 3 really, 1. I know nothing about Hockey. 2. It was better TV than the Republican debate and 3. It's better TV than baseball but then so is Soccer and Golf. Is Baseball the shittiest sport ever invented? Probably not but it maybe the shittiest TV sport IF you don't count say Darts or the WNBA.

One last thingy about Hockey. I may be Sergeant Schultz and know nothing about the rules or much else about the sport for that matter but I do know that it's decline in popularity came when teams started moving from Winnipeg, Minneapolis and Hartford to such cold weather hockey hotbeds as Atlanta, Dallas, Nashville and Charlotte. Cause when you think Hockey do you think Winnipeg or Nashville? That's right Nashville. The Atlanta franchise is moving to Winnipeg. Again No expert but how can moving back to a city where the Sport is far more popular and means far more to the fan base not be a good thing? There's a reason why you may see the Los Angeles Vikings but you'll never see the Winnipeg Vikings The NFL knows it's market. Now could you see the Toronto Bills? That's another story.

The Republicans had themselves a debate. The Count saw 40 seconds of the thing and It told him all he needed to know. Tim Pawlenty said Joe Biden never made a good foreign policy decision in his life and Sarah Palin was so smart, such a great leader, and oh so sexy and thankfully he was stopped there before he did something truly embarrassing. Let's just say If they had let him continue we would no longer be talking of Weiner gate. I read ET's response to the debate thread and much of what she said compliments much of what I have heard about the debates. The Moderators with their Less Filling or Tastes Great? questions were awful and the answers put forth had zero substance and offered no insight. Scarier yet is there seemed to be a complete lack of sanity to the whole affair. Not to worry though Once Sarah Palin and Rick Perry join the dance then the adults will have taken over. After all one is a superficial idiot more concerned with their appearance and the placement of their dark brown hair than actual policy and has been a total failure at governing their state. The Other is Sarah Palin.

One last thing about this Debate and really it goes for all debates in the TV soundbite culture we live in. How can 6 people in 90 minutes? 120 Minutes? Say anything of substance? Especially when they are given a minute and a half a crack to speak. This is no way to do a debate. Read the Lincoln Douglas debates. Can you imagine giving candidates an hour or and hour and a half to make their point? Obviously those days are long gone we don't have the attention spans for it for one. But that format weeded out the idiots. If Bachman, Palin, Perry or Santorum had to stand up and make honest coherent arguments for 90 minutes they wouldn't stand a chance. They can barely handle 90 seconds. No I am not suggesting we have 4 hour debates But can't we do better than you have 90 seconds to respond?

Maybe it's this is a total Coinkidink but I have to comment about Godfather Pizza. My hometown is the hometown of Godfathers it was started here in Omaha by a man Names Willie Theison who sold the franchise made a fortune and now lives haply ever after. Once upon a time their Pizza really was good. The quality of the Pizza has gone down hill significantly since oh say 1990. Guess when Herman Cain started ruin...errr running Godfathers pizza? Just sayin. Personally I'd rather have the guy who played the first Godfather for President than Herman Cain. His name was J. William Koll and he was an Omaha Community playhouse actor. His command of dooooooooooo itttttttttttt. meant more than anything that has ever come out of Cain's mouth. Sadly he passed away a few years ago though this too makes him a better Candidate for President than Herman Cain.

The Dallas Mavericks or Mavericky's if you're Sarah Palin defeated the Miami Heat in the NBA finals 4 games to 2 to make the world a little bit better place to live. Give the Mavericks all the credit in the world for sweeping the Lakers and then ridding us of the Heat. That some serious taking out of the trash. Miami Heat fans who already had the reputation of sucking didn't help themselves by selling 6,000 tickets to Dallas maverick fans for game 6. LeBron James who already has a reputation for choking didn't help himself by once again checking out after game 2. Last year the rumor involved Delonte West and Mama James. This time the rumor involves His Girlfriend Savannah and Rashard Lewis. Whether or not one or both are true (and we know one is) 'Bron is professional he has no excuses for constantly choking. Well he's just not that good certainly not as good as we are lead to believe or more like it forced to believe. Is that an excuse? There is a difference this year of the amount of glee, schadenfreude and venom being directed towards LeBron after this years failure and it's all LeBron's fault. He's the one who held the stupid special on ESPN. He's the one who promised not 5, not 6, not 7 he's the one who was mocking a player who played with a 102 fever and still outplayed his sorry ass. We used to say hey at least he's not the complete asshole Kobe is. Can't say that anymore. As if we needed anymore proof LeBron James is a douchebag he gave it to us in his press conference after his team lost game 6 and the finals...

Q. (During Sunday’s postgame media session): Does it bother you that so many people are happy to see you fail?

A. James (on Sunday night): “Absolutely not. Because at the end of the day, all the people that was rooting on me to fail, at the end of the day they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today. They have the same personal problems they had today. I’m going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things that I want to do with me and my family and be happy with that. They can get a few days or a few months or whatever the case may be on being happy about not only myself, but the Miami Heat not accomplishing their goal, but they have to get back to the real world at some point.

That's so sweet. You know I want the people to buy my Jersey's and my shoes and what not but at the end of the day they'll still have their miserable little lives and be fucking losers slaving away to by my $150 Jersey while I am rich rich rich rich rich rich hahahahahahahahaha! Why so people hate me? You know what Fuck you LeBron I have more respect for Kobe Fucking Bryant than you. At least he's a pro. He's had issues but he shows up and does his job. And he wears I am a dickhead like a badge He doesn't pretend to be such a great guy while being a complete cocksucker. Yes I have more respect for the cocksucker who walks up to you and says Hey I' a cocksucker.

And Finally Carte Blanche Jeffery Deaver's New James Bond novel comes put tonight in America! I am at nerd level fan boy excitement about this! Once I get the book nothing else can or will be done until I finish it. That is why I am writing this now. I apologize as always for the typos and mistakes I am sure there are some doozies. And if you find them and want to make fun of them does it bother me? Absolutely not. Because at the end of the day you'll have to go back to your miserable fucking life while I'll be curled up with the new James Bond book and loving my life.

As Always


Count Istvan.

Monday, June 13, 2011

2012 Republican Presidential Debate.

I am not watching it, ET if you did please fill us in on the mayhem. Anyway here are some comments from people The Count Follows on Twitter.

Herman Cain doesn't have a plan or really an idea.He'll hire the right people to tell him what to do but he's not really sure how to do that

Looks like the only person of color invited to it's debate is the one black man on stage.

GOP: "We don't like Gays, Muslims, Immigrants, Government, etc., but we LOVE America." What?

Romney was pro choice before he was against it. Oh, same for Obamacare. Mitt is a rock!

GOP: Gay people don't get killed in combat as well as straight people. & their gayness is contagious!

Giada De Laurentiis

Ok That on had nothing to do with the debate BUT hey it's Giada.

Bachmann mentions her foster children for the 3rd time.

: Wow. Santorum is disgusting. Yes, both definitions.

After viewing this GOP "debate" I am now in favor of a constitutional amendment requiring sanity as a condition for running for office.

I can remember days when debates were normal and understandable... this debates is scary shit!

Did Michele Bachmann just say "Confer with our Commanders in Beef"?

I shouldn't have set drinking game to drink at every lie.

Bachmann clueless on military. Wants to be Comandress in Chief..

Romney is a flip flopper! He is all over the map. Make up your mind Romneycare!

When she's president, Bachmann will confer with Commander in Chief

Santorum says the country should have "one law" in the country re: marriage. Divorce lawyers everywhere laugh.

Sounds like a good time is being had by all.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

23, As We Know, Is An Evil Number

Or, as it was first released in Crazytown, "This Is What Happens To You When Your Apocalypse Pantry Contains That Many Cans Of Pork 'N' Beans."

Seriously. No commentary I might add can possibly suffice. Feast your eyes and ears.

Monday, June 6, 2011

The Missouri River Is Flooding.

A Combination of melting snow in the mountains and a lot of rain this spring has made the Missouri river flood its banks. The Platte river is also dangerously high. The good news is Omaha is despite what you may have heard a hilly city. And though the Count lives towards the eastern side of the city He is safe as he does not live in a low level area. The eastern edge of the city including downtown could be in for some danger if we get too much more rain. Also the College World Series could have some issues as well. Some areas of Council Bluffs (across the river from Omaha) are evacuating as are areas North and south of the city. Several small towns in Iowa such has Hamburg have had to evacuate.

As I said I live in a high enough area that flooding, if there is any in Omaha should not be a problem however there is a possibility we could have to conserve power becuase the power stations may flood and obviously on hot summer days that would be an inconvenience. Still it beats having
to evacuate.

Friday, June 3, 2011

There Is Stupid, Fucking Stupid And Then There Is...

I made a trip over to FSTDT today to read some of the latest ramblings from, forgive me Lord, some of the dumbest Motherfuckers on the planet. They never fail to disappoint.

For example,
I knew of a man, his wife recently died. He had never touched anyone but his wife, sexually. Never ever thought of a child. But there was a neighbor who allowed her little girls to hang around the man. They wore tank tops and shorts. The old man asked if the girls could clean for him. He offered to pay them. They came over once or twice a week. Within a month into this, he started 'touching' them.
..Fortunately, the girls told their mother very soon and it didn't go any further, but the old man had never done it before, nor did he ever do it again.

The man became tempted by them, their vulnerability, their skin.
Now The story of the old man who is such a good guy but was driven to sin by the young harlots next door should have been enough. But no I did what you should never do and clicked on the link the quote came from.

It starts with a picture of Barack Obama looking at a woman's ass. The horror! I've never understood this with Fundies. You can't look at another man if you're man and you can't look at women either. Are sheep and goats ok? Of course if they weren't who would most of them sleep with right? Oh and are we really shocked The President is an ass man?

Anyway back to the amazing blame the victim ramblings of fundy nuts. The blog entry starts out:

The Blog Entry entitled Women, how many men have you slept with today! continues...


You say you've slept with no one, not even your husband?!
Well- do you know how many men have slept with you today?

What do you expect?!

You're half-naked. Everything a man likes to see, you've exposed.
Your top is too low and your skirt is too high......... and you've left very little to his imagination...
except what he'd like to do, with what he sees.

Women, you HAVE TO STOP listening to the "liberated" (and naked) women. Men do NOT work like women. They are affected by what they see, it is unavoidable.
The next paragraph starts with:

*Men, you can stop reading right about here"
Actually that is the most sound advice found in the post. And it goes for everyone and everything. Men, Women, dogs, cats, it doesn't matter. But if you want to read the full post help yourself. And if you made it that far read the comments that were allowed to stay. And for the record much like the President I too tend to regard the rear as the finest part of the female anatomy. And I too have been known to look at women other than my wife knowing in 98% of the cases I could not do anything if I wanted to and would not do anything even if I could in 100% of the cases. I am human after-all. (Something BTW I am not sure could be said for many fundies.) I look at million dollar + houses as well and sometimes wonder what having one must be like what a helluva sinner I am.

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