Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The View From My Ass

I have long since had a theory on the origins of Hockey. Some people up in I don't know Edmonton, Halifax, Yellowknife, St. Johns, somewhere in Canada said Christ we love Soccer but we have like 6 days all year that we can actually play the sport. Then one of them had a brain storm some September when the entire town froze over. He got out a stick and a ball of black tape and invented away to play what he called Ice Soccer later to be renamed Ice Hockey. Think about it other than the facts that one is played on Ice and one on grass and one involves sticks and the other feet they are the same damned sport. Now I am no real fan of either sport but I did watch the world cup last year and I did watch period 3 of the Stanley Cup last night. Vancouver is such a wonderful city, it really is. It seems to get right what American cities get wrong BUT I am rooting for Boston. I am a long time Celtics fan, I root for the RedSox when they are in the series (as much as I can bring myself to care) so I gotta go with the Bruins because Boston's been good to me. I do draw the line at The Patriots however. I can't root for them and besides they are in Foxborough not Boston right? Anyway I watched period 3 of game 6 and I have come to a conclusion, well 2 or 3 really, 1. I know nothing about Hockey. 2. It was better TV than the Republican debate and 3. It's better TV than baseball but then so is Soccer and Golf. Is Baseball the shittiest sport ever invented? Probably not but it maybe the shittiest TV sport IF you don't count say Darts or the WNBA.

One last thingy about Hockey. I may be Sergeant Schultz and know nothing about the rules or much else about the sport for that matter but I do know that it's decline in popularity came when teams started moving from Winnipeg, Minneapolis and Hartford to such cold weather hockey hotbeds as Atlanta, Dallas, Nashville and Charlotte. Cause when you think Hockey do you think Winnipeg or Nashville? That's right Nashville. The Atlanta franchise is moving to Winnipeg. Again No expert but how can moving back to a city where the Sport is far more popular and means far more to the fan base not be a good thing? There's a reason why you may see the Los Angeles Vikings but you'll never see the Winnipeg Vikings The NFL knows it's market. Now could you see the Toronto Bills? That's another story.

The Republicans had themselves a debate. The Count saw 40 seconds of the thing and It told him all he needed to know. Tim Pawlenty said Joe Biden never made a good foreign policy decision in his life and Sarah Palin was so smart, such a great leader, and oh so sexy and thankfully he was stopped there before he did something truly embarrassing. Let's just say If they had let him continue we would no longer be talking of Weiner gate. I read ET's response to the debate thread and much of what she said compliments much of what I have heard about the debates. The Moderators with their Less Filling or Tastes Great? questions were awful and the answers put forth had zero substance and offered no insight. Scarier yet is there seemed to be a complete lack of sanity to the whole affair. Not to worry though Once Sarah Palin and Rick Perry join the dance then the adults will have taken over. After all one is a superficial idiot more concerned with their appearance and the placement of their dark brown hair than actual policy and has been a total failure at governing their state. The Other is Sarah Palin.

One last thing about this Debate and really it goes for all debates in the TV soundbite culture we live in. How can 6 people in 90 minutes? 120 Minutes? Say anything of substance? Especially when they are given a minute and a half a crack to speak. This is no way to do a debate. Read the Lincoln Douglas debates. Can you imagine giving candidates an hour or and hour and a half to make their point? Obviously those days are long gone we don't have the attention spans for it for one. But that format weeded out the idiots. If Bachman, Palin, Perry or Santorum had to stand up and make honest coherent arguments for 90 minutes they wouldn't stand a chance. They can barely handle 90 seconds. No I am not suggesting we have 4 hour debates But can't we do better than you have 90 seconds to respond?

Maybe it's this is a total Coinkidink but I have to comment about Godfather Pizza. My hometown is the hometown of Godfathers it was started here in Omaha by a man Names Willie Theison who sold the franchise made a fortune and now lives haply ever after. Once upon a time their Pizza really was good. The quality of the Pizza has gone down hill significantly since oh say 1990. Guess when Herman Cain started ruin...errr running Godfathers pizza? Just sayin. Personally I'd rather have the guy who played the first Godfather for President than Herman Cain. His name was J. William Koll and he was an Omaha Community playhouse actor. His command of dooooooooooo itttttttttttt. meant more than anything that has ever come out of Cain's mouth. Sadly he passed away a few years ago though this too makes him a better Candidate for President than Herman Cain.

The Dallas Mavericks or Mavericky's if you're Sarah Palin defeated the Miami Heat in the NBA finals 4 games to 2 to make the world a little bit better place to live. Give the Mavericks all the credit in the world for sweeping the Lakers and then ridding us of the Heat. That some serious taking out of the trash. Miami Heat fans who already had the reputation of sucking didn't help themselves by selling 6,000 tickets to Dallas maverick fans for game 6. LeBron James who already has a reputation for choking didn't help himself by once again checking out after game 2. Last year the rumor involved Delonte West and Mama James. This time the rumor involves His Girlfriend Savannah and Rashard Lewis. Whether or not one or both are true (and we know one is) 'Bron is professional he has no excuses for constantly choking. Well he's just not that good certainly not as good as we are lead to believe or more like it forced to believe. Is that an excuse? There is a difference this year of the amount of glee, schadenfreude and venom being directed towards LeBron after this years failure and it's all LeBron's fault. He's the one who held the stupid special on ESPN. He's the one who promised not 5, not 6, not 7 he's the one who was mocking a player who played with a 102 fever and still outplayed his sorry ass. We used to say hey at least he's not the complete asshole Kobe is. Can't say that anymore. As if we needed anymore proof LeBron James is a douchebag he gave it to us in his press conference after his team lost game 6 and the finals...

Q. (During Sunday’s postgame media session): Does it bother you that so many people are happy to see you fail?

A. James (on Sunday night): “Absolutely not. Because at the end of the day, all the people that was rooting on me to fail, at the end of the day they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today. They have the same personal problems they had today. I’m going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things that I want to do with me and my family and be happy with that. They can get a few days or a few months or whatever the case may be on being happy about not only myself, but the Miami Heat not accomplishing their goal, but they have to get back to the real world at some point.

That's so sweet. You know I want the people to buy my Jersey's and my shoes and what not but at the end of the day they'll still have their miserable little lives and be fucking losers slaving away to by my $150 Jersey while I am rich rich rich rich rich rich hahahahahahahahaha! Why so people hate me? You know what Fuck you LeBron I have more respect for Kobe Fucking Bryant than you. At least he's a pro. He's had issues but he shows up and does his job. And he wears I am a dickhead like a badge He doesn't pretend to be such a great guy while being a complete cocksucker. Yes I have more respect for the cocksucker who walks up to you and says Hey I' a cocksucker.

And Finally Carte Blanche Jeffery Deaver's New James Bond novel comes put tonight in America! I am at nerd level fan boy excitement about this! Once I get the book nothing else can or will be done until I finish it. That is why I am writing this now. I apologize as always for the typos and mistakes I am sure there are some doozies. And if you find them and want to make fun of them does it bother me? Absolutely not. Because at the end of the day you'll have to go back to your miserable fucking life while I'll be curled up with the new James Bond book and loving my life.

As Always


Count Istvan.

No comments:

Total Pageviews