The View From My Ass

 

And now My final thought.

 I dislike Mitt Romney. OK maybe that isn't fair I've never met the man but given what the man has to say when the camera isn't on him and what he has to say when the camera is it's fair to say I dislike him. But I don't need to look for reasons to dislike the man.

Saturday he attended the Pacquiao-Marquez fight and to his credit was in the arena before the first fight of the PPV portion of the card. If he were there to see and be seen he would have done what the other "celebrities" do at these events. Take his seat sometime between the Mexican National Anthem and round 3.

Yes as some liberals pointed out there was a non existent reaction the former Presidential candidate taking his seat at the event. But how can there be any other kind of reaction when the only other people in the arena are Snooki, her fighter, the other fighter, the announcers and Metta World Peace?

I dislike Mitt Romney. I do not dislike him for attending  and having good seats to a big boxing event in Las Vegas. The fact he was there and  more importantly there EARLY might be the most likable thing I have seen or heard from the man.

I would advice against falling in to the Conservative trap of making an issue out of every little thing a politician we dislike does. Yes Mitt went to the fights Saturday, Yes Mitt pumped his gas on a windy day and yes Mitt is a douchebag but not at all for the things I just mentioned. Give public, Presidential candidate, Mitt all the hell you want to for Binders full of women. But give private Mitt a pass for going to a fight. Unless you don't mind being lumped into the same crowd as the people with terminal ODS.

Take care of yourself, and each other!

KTF

Stephen

The View From My Ass

For about 23 minutes about in the 80's? 90's? 00's? I attended the University of Nebraska Omaha, Or if you prefer UNO or if you are tired of your team being treated like you are Nebraska-Lincoln's little disabled brother just plain Omaha.

I am not a fan of the schools athletics and haven't been since they beat Augustana in football and then decided to bill themselves as "Omaha's" football team a ludicrous motto made even more so by the fact that Omaha loved UNO football so much it stood by and let out a collective yawn when it was announced Omaha's football team was a football team no more. Omaha , are you happy Trev? decided to move it's sports program up to division 1 a move which brought about the death of the football program.

The better competition level coupled with the fact that UNO was moving  into the brand new Ralston Arena was enough reason for me to purchase season tickets to UNO Basketball. My seats are at end of a side but on Row A the front row. The Mascot often makes the rounds in front of us getting high fives and trying to get the crowd going. Kids often come down with their parents to high-five or hug the mascot which I have no issue with. I am on an isle and it can be done with out interfering with the crowd. Friday the crowd was officially 2200 people and using my own judgement I would say that was about right. Tonight they could not have had 500 people in the arena. BUT...

The national anthem was song by kids from an elementary school. They were little, cute and hell Steven Tyler couldn't have sang the national anthem as well as they did in his best dreams. But after they sang they apparently had no adult supervision. If there was any they were no where to be found. Shortly after halftime The little...um...shits began to congregate in row A. section 116. The only other two people in the row with me gave up 3 minutes into the half and left. I waited a few more minutes until the crowd of children got larger and larger, their screams got louder an louder and their behavior got worse and worse. I finally gave up and moved 4 rows. The "security" a 60+ year old man sitting on the floor sat there with his fist up his ass and did not a thing.

Midway through the second half a UNO player directly in front of the congregation of little shitkickers suffered a serious injury and fell to the court but before doing so he kicked the ball Into the stands with his good leg picking up a Technical foul and nearly doing the world a favor as it came with in inches of taking out about 5 kids. Friday I politely cheered on both teams as honestly I didn't care who won but by the second half tonight I was so disgusted with the kids and the lack of adult supervision I was solidly rooting for St. Mary and will root for UNO from here on out.

UNO: Judging by the crowd tonight people aren't beating down doors to see your product and if tonight was any indication of what kind of experience the costumer can expect they won't be anytime soon. Nobody wants to spend good money (UNO tickets are more expensive than UNL Tickets) to watch 10 year old children take a break from accidentally kicking you to run around and scream.

Parents or Adult supervision: Where were you? Don't tell me you were keeping an eye on kids. I was looking around to the other people in the stands and the few that were there were texting on their cellphones the whole damn game. The one time I saw a parent a Mother came down and told her daughter they were leaving with about 7 minutes left to go. The kid said No I am staying until the end. The Mother turned around I shit you not and sat back down. I find it nearly unconscionable in a time when you are forever hearing about kids being abducted, kidnapped, and raped that parents or adult supervisors, (there had to be somebody from the school right?) Would allow the children to run around at a public event unsupervised .But hey if you had watch your kids then you couldn't bullshit with your friends over beers and text your buddies right? Just because they're your kids doesn't mean they have to ruin your enjoyment of the game. Let them ruin somebody elses.

Oh as for the game? St. Mary 96 UNO, Nebraska-Omaha, Omaha 86. Kinda sweet Justice don't ya think?

KTF

Stephen

The View From My Ass

Men, and I am talking to you men who are about to, or thinking about, getting married.  I have one piece of advice and one piece of advice only.  Value your own opinion. Don't share it, cause no one cares, but value it. I think back to the time when I was bright eyed and star struck and heard "let's go the furniture mart and look at some furniture the two of us we'll get something we both like." I was fucking dumb enough to believe it. Of course when we got there my opinion was solicited and I was fucking dumb enough to give it. What do you like? "oh I like this" "no no no that's too dark we'll go with this"

 Lesson learned.

Next time we're at the mart:
"what do you think dear?"
"you ask me and then when I show you something I like you'll say I don't like it" so why are you asking me? "No what do you like dear?" "
OK I like this."
No I don't like that we'll go with this"

Again lesson learned.

Now when I am at the mart or any store for that matter and I am asked what I like I say "Don't ask me you pick it out and it will be fine." The sales person may give me a dirty look but I just ended the charade and saved them...and me valuable time I can spend some place I'd rather be. Which is of course about any where else. 

Do I always like what she picks out? No. Do I value my opinion on what she picks out? Yes. Do I share it? Oh hell no. Because at the end of the day it doesn't matter what my opinion is to anybody but me.

And then of course there is this conversation. You're at home. The wife is shopping. ring...ring...ring...

"I am about to pick up food dear what would you like to eat?"
"What would you like?"
"anything you want is fine with me"
"OK _____________________________ sounds good."
"No I think I'll go to __________________________________"

In time that turns into...

"I am about to pick up food dear what would you like to eat?"
"does it matter what I want?"
"yes you know it does"
"Just get what you want"
"Tell me what you want"
"I'll tell you then you'll say no"
"No I won't just tell me what you want"
"OK I want________________________________________________________________"
" No I think I'll go to __________________________________ instead

Finally it becomes this....

""I am about to pick up food dear what would you like to eat?""
" wherever you go just find something on the menu I'll like" "hurry home bye"

I skip the charade of her pretending my opinion matters and the back and forth that can take hours before she goes wherever she was going to go in the first place. Again value your own opinion. It's the only person it matters a lick to. But don't share it... trust me nothing good can ever come of that.

This is why I like cats. Oh the cat doesn't give a rat's ass about my opinion. But at least he's not selective. He doesn't give a rat's ass about her opinion either.

Is this is why I am so opinionated on line? I don't know. I've always been opinionated. It's not like I've never taken a look at something she's picked out (including me) and thought what the fuck were you thinking? I just don't say what the fuck were you thinking. I say that's nice dear. Oh sure I could have gone with her and tried to sell her on something that I would like more but that ain't gonna happen. And instead of seeing some great sporting event of getting some much needed sleep I wasted my time and the store's and she still bought the same damn thing I couldn't stand.

I am I must admit on a win streak. I went to go pick up a clock for my new "man cave" and actually selected one I liked. She actually also liked the clock I picked out. I got the clock! I probably could have bought more but I left while I was ahead. Well not quite. On the way home she asked me where I'd like to eat and "any place would be fine" Of course I pointed to a restaurant and said that sounds good! And of course she said no let's go to ______________________ instead.

KTF
Count Istvan.

The View From My Ass. My Home State, My Father, My Breibart, My God!!

March is here! And it came in like a...Well it came in closer to lamb than to a lion I'll put it that way. Still the wind kept it from being as nice as a 52 degree sunshiny day can be. And tomorrow it's suppose to rain and maybe drop a flake. SO MAYBE we won't wake up on March 29th to 15 inches of snow. But then again by Tuesday it's suppose to be 62 so maybe we will. Either way this has been an unbelievably mild winter in these parts. Maybe the mildest I can ever remember.

Today...well yesterday now, my state turned 145 years old. I was born in Nebraska, lived all of my life sans 4 years in Nebraska, I suspect I'll die in Nebraska and I know i'll be buried in Nebraska. In fact i think the plot's already there though I'll have to ask about that to be sure. And though i don't agree with the states politics much I love living in Nebraska. Still I never fail to marvel at the constant identity crises this state continues to create for itself and fight at the same time. Nebraskans hate and I mean HATE being labeled hicks yet they've made Larry The Cable Guy The State Symbol. The Largest newspaper in the state, which serves a metropolitan area of 900,000 people gives large spaces in the news and sports sections to a joke teller whose work is about on par with Peggy Hill's musings column in the Arlan Bystander but hey he used to be a joke writer for Jay Leno and he lives in Omaha. His jokes are painfully not funny and it just makes the paper look poor. It's the kind of crap you would expect to find in the York News-Times and not a paper that boasts having "the second-highest percentage of people within a home circulation area compared with other major metropolitan newspapers in the United States" But it's not out a character with either Omaha or Nebraska. This state, and this city in particular loves to hire people whose abilities barely qualify them to do political forums on Monroe Louisiana public access and give them 65 different jobs in the media.

Case in point. Travis Justice. Sportscaster, talks show host on radio, host of late night groovy movie, high school mascot, announcer for Creighton and finally political commentator. And guess what? Travis sucked at EVERYTHING he did. OK maybe did OK hosting late night groovy movie theater but that was it. Today the only job he's got is calling (very poorly) Creighton games. The New Travis Justice is Mike'l (yes that's how his name is spelled) Severe. Severe was a reporter on the morning news, wearing heavy coats on 75 degree mornings, a moderator on a political show where he played a Black Alan Colmes, a sports radio talk show host, a color analyst for Nighthawks games (he never played football) and get this a food critic for the Omaha World Herald. That's right somebody who's "expertize" talking about a sport he never played is the food critic for the largest newspaper in the state. I've never read his work as a food critic though maybe he's finally found a job he's good at. Let's see what the people are saying...

"So this is the new OWH format.  100 monkeys with 100 typewriters.  I guess eventually we will get a decent review.  Not that it even matters.  The Herald has decided that restaurants in Omaha are a joke and don't need any coverage.  This GARBAGE of unqualified jerk offs writing in some meaningless column that the paper can't even fake to care about is intolerably insulting.  STOP READING THE PAPER.  STOP BUYING IT.  STOP ADVERTISING IN IT.  It is obvious to everyone with a brain that the The World Herald is insufferably ill equipped to find writers let alone editors that any more interested in the subject than the readers become disinterested in reading it.  Ugh. What a waste."

Guess not. But welcome to Omaha, Nebraska where we have no clue what is we want to be we just so long as make sure that we suck at being it.

As I write this it is currently 35 degrees outside which is about as cold as it's going to get. A far cry from March 1st 2007. My Father's wish was to have Lara's theme played at his funeral a request my Mother always balked at because "you'll die in the spring and the snow reference will make no sense" Well on the day of his visitation was on a Wednesday and we were suppose to get a Blizzard. It never came. The weathermen said the snow missed us and we dodged a bullet. On Friday morning his funeral the snow came in and it snowed, and snowed and snowed and snowed. He damn well made sure Lara's theme was going to fit. I remember the nearly indescribable feeling I had at his passing, like I was wondering through a dream that I had no control over, everything around me just being a haze. That feeling I guess is what is keeping me from being too vitriolic about the Death of Andrew Breitbart.

I have nothing good to say about the man at all but the feeling a family must have to lose their Husband, Father, friend, suddenly at that young of an age must be awful. I know how I felt losing a Father 25 years older and having seen him cease to be the person he was. When I lost my Father he was in a state where he wasn't living any more. I had begun to pray for a quick and speedy end. I didn't want to see my Father linger any longer in the form he was in. The last thing I said to him was "Thank You" To this day I have not fully come to terms with no longer wanting my Father to linger in what was his present earthly state. I still feel a quilt for praying for a merciful end to my Fathers life. As hard as it was I had 3 months to ready myself and come to terms with the passing of My Father Andrew Breitbart's children and wife never got that time and that is truly a tragedy. Nothing else about his death, to me at least qualifies or even comes close.

I close with this for my Father...




KTF
Count Istvan
Stephen

The View From My Ass

Man it's been awhile has it not? How's tricks? I have stayed out of the Susan G. Koman fiasco for the most part for one simple reason. in a battle between 2 organizations whose primary purpose is women's health I just don't particularly feel as if it is my battle to fight. Although I will say this. A look at the Koman Facebook page shows that supporters of the organization, which right now are are far fewer than detractors, have names like Michael, Charles, James and William. Now I do not doubt that many of these men who suddenly stand behind Susan G. Koman 100% have an interest in women's breast but somehow I doubt that many of them care about cancer.

My only real "take" on the Koman fiasco was this. You are an organization whose primary goal is women's health. Why in the world would you alienate another organization that has the same primary concern not to mention millions of women? And to pacify a fanatical religious fringe group that is made up overwhelmingly of men. To me the decision seems maddeningly ignorant and so completely ill thought out. Did they put any thought into the decision at all? Did they think women wouldn't care? Honestly there are people at Komen who haven't a clue of how to run an organization if they thought this was a wise idea. And if that organization wants to at least try and get it's name back they should take a good long hard look at themselves and then do some house cleaning. (No don't go PC on me you know what I mean)

A word of advice to Aria. Aria you are a dear friend and I was wondering how to tell you this: Don't take a fight started on the internet off of the internet. To battle with morons like Sewell, and Peters on the net is one thing and one thing that is probably not worth a lot of effort. But don't get into with them on a personal level with emails to friends and that shit. I say this for 2 reasons. 1. I like you a lot. 2. These clowns might be dangerous. They are certainly unstable. I've had to deal with internet stalkers myself. I know how dangerous they can be. To start tracking down their friends and exchanging emails and whatever else is a losing battle. At the end of the day Sewell got what he wanted. Some publicity for his 93 blogs. I'm sure I'll write about him and others of his ilk here and other places many more times in the future. But I haven't got time for exchanging Emails and getting into personal wars with crazed jerkoffs and their sycophants. And I think you should also save yourself the hassle by not taking these battles off the net.

I know that Bias is in the eye of the beholder but tonight for the nationally televised Boston Celtics-NY Knicks game on ESPN the announcers were Mike Breen and Jeff Van Gundy. Now this is suppose to be an unbiased sports broadcast on ESPN. Breen is a Knicks play by play man Van Gundy a former Knicks coach. In other words the broadcast was as unbiased as your typical ESPN Duke Basketball broadcast with Dick (Duke) Vitale and Mike Patrick calling the game.

Sunday is the big day Man's official holiday The Super Bowl. The biggest football game of the year that amazingly is packaged and sold to people whom for the most part hate football. There will be the usual 30 hour pregame show. Randall Terry wanted to run an ad with dead fetuses. I say let him if you let Planned Parenthood also run adds. CBS for the record said no to dead fetus adds. I guess we'll have to struggle through with the other dumbass ads we'll be bombarded with. For the record the Count mutes the ads anyway. He's also rooting for the NY Giants. Although he picks the Patriots. The law of averages would suggest we're in for a dud of a game. We've had 5 pretty good games in a row and the last 4 have all been great. Really even before this latest stretch many of the games have been competitive and enjoyable. Certainly the old myth about the Super Bowl being a lot of hype and a lousy game is no longer true. I will say this maybe if I were in Romney's real or Ranger Bob's imaginary income bracket I would feel differently. But I could not justify paying $1000 a piece face value for a football ticket. I had a hard enough time justifying $175 a piece for Nebraska-Wyoming $137 a piece for Nebraska-Minnesota.

Another prediction for the game. Kelly Clarkson will deliver a serviceable if  unmemorable national anthem. I don't think it will be great for sure but I doubt it will be Steven Tyler, Christina Agulara bad either. it will be just another of a million rendition of a song that in all honesty is really a pretty bad piece of material. That will get me in trouble. The Plan Sunday is to get up watch the Nebraska-Minnesota basketball game settle in Watch some football, eat some Pizza , should the snow stop in time and the pizza man can either get here or we can get there, And watch some more football. Oh and find something else to do that 20 minutes while Madonna is on. Madonna the safe uncontroversial choice. What has the world come to?

KTF
Count Istvan

The View From My Ass

I have long since had a theory on the origins of Hockey. Some people up in I don't know Edmonton, Halifax, Yellowknife, St. Johns, somewhere in Canada said Christ we love Soccer but we have like 6 days all year that we can actually play the sport. Then one of them had a brain storm some September when the entire town froze over. He got out a stick and a ball of black tape and invented away to play what he called Ice Soccer later to be renamed Ice Hockey. Think about it other than the facts that one is played on Ice and one on grass and one involves sticks and the other feet they are the same damned sport. Now I am no real fan of either sport but I did watch the world cup last year and I did watch period 3 of the Stanley Cup last night. Vancouver is such a wonderful city, it really is. It seems to get right what American cities get wrong BUT I am rooting for Boston. I am a long time Celtics fan, I root for the RedSox when they are in the series (as much as I can bring myself to care) so I gotta go with the Bruins because Boston's been good to me. I do draw the line at The Patriots however. I can't root for them and besides they are in Foxborough not Boston right? Anyway I watched period 3 of game 6 and I have come to a conclusion, well 2 or 3 really, 1. I know nothing about Hockey. 2. It was better TV than the Republican debate and 3. It's better TV than baseball but then so is Soccer and Golf. Is Baseball the shittiest sport ever invented? Probably not but it maybe the shittiest TV sport IF you don't count say Darts or the WNBA.

One last thingy about Hockey. I may be Sergeant Schultz and know nothing about the rules or much else about the sport for that matter but I do know that it's decline in popularity came when teams started moving from Winnipeg, Minneapolis and Hartford to such cold weather hockey hotbeds as Atlanta, Dallas, Nashville and Charlotte. Cause when you think Hockey do you think Winnipeg or Nashville? That's right Nashville. The Atlanta franchise is moving to Winnipeg. Again No expert but how can moving back to a city where the Sport is far more popular and means far more to the fan base not be a good thing? There's a reason why you may see the Los Angeles Vikings but you'll never see the Winnipeg Vikings The NFL knows it's market. Now could you see the Toronto Bills? That's another story.

The Republicans had themselves a debate. The Count saw 40 seconds of the thing and It told him all he needed to know. Tim Pawlenty said Joe Biden never made a good foreign policy decision in his life and Sarah Palin was so smart, such a great leader, and oh so sexy and thankfully he was stopped there before he did something truly embarrassing. Let's just say If they had let him continue we would no longer be talking of Weiner gate. I read ET's response to the debate thread and much of what she said compliments much of what I have heard about the debates. The Moderators with their Less Filling or Tastes Great? questions were awful and the answers put forth had zero substance and offered no insight. Scarier yet is there seemed to be a complete lack of sanity to the whole affair. Not to worry though Once Sarah Palin and Rick Perry join the dance then the adults will have taken over. After all one is a superficial idiot more concerned with their appearance and the placement of their dark brown hair than actual policy and has been a total failure at governing their state. The Other is Sarah Palin.

One last thing about this Debate and really it goes for all debates in the TV soundbite culture we live in. How can 6 people in 90 minutes? 120 Minutes? Say anything of substance? Especially when they are given a minute and a half a crack to speak. This is no way to do a debate. Read the Lincoln Douglas debates. Can you imagine giving candidates an hour or and hour and a half to make their point? Obviously those days are long gone we don't have the attention spans for it for one. But that format weeded out the idiots. If Bachman, Palin, Perry or Santorum had to stand up and make honest coherent arguments for 90 minutes they wouldn't stand a chance. They can barely handle 90 seconds. No I am not suggesting we have 4 hour debates But can't we do better than you have 90 seconds to respond?

Maybe it's this is a total Coinkidink but I have to comment about Godfather Pizza. My hometown is the hometown of Godfathers it was started here in Omaha by a man Names Willie Theison who sold the franchise made a fortune and now lives haply ever after. Once upon a time their Pizza really was good. The quality of the Pizza has gone down hill significantly since oh say 1990. Guess when Herman Cain started ruin...errr running Godfathers pizza? Just sayin. Personally I'd rather have the guy who played the first Godfather for President than Herman Cain. His name was J. William Koll and he was an Omaha Community playhouse actor. His command of dooooooooooo itttttttttttt. meant more than anything that has ever come out of Cain's mouth. Sadly he passed away a few years ago though this too makes him a better Candidate for President than Herman Cain.

The Dallas Mavericks or Mavericky's if you're Sarah Palin defeated the Miami Heat in the NBA finals 4 games to 2 to make the world a little bit better place to live. Give the Mavericks all the credit in the world for sweeping the Lakers and then ridding us of the Heat. That some serious taking out of the trash. Miami Heat fans who already had the reputation of sucking didn't help themselves by selling 6,000 tickets to Dallas maverick fans for game 6. LeBron James who already has a reputation for choking didn't help himself by once again checking out after game 2. Last year the rumor involved Delonte West and Mama James. This time the rumor involves His Girlfriend Savannah and Rashard Lewis. Whether or not one or both are true (and we know one is) 'Bron is professional he has no excuses for constantly choking. Well he's just not that good certainly not as good as we are lead to believe or more like it forced to believe. Is that an excuse? There is a difference this year of the amount of glee, schadenfreude and venom being directed towards LeBron after this years failure and it's all LeBron's fault. He's the one who held the stupid special on ESPN. He's the one who promised not 5, not 6, not 7 he's the one who was mocking a player who played with a 102 fever and still outplayed his sorry ass. We used to say hey at least he's not the complete asshole Kobe is. Can't say that anymore. As if we needed anymore proof LeBron James is a douchebag he gave it to us in his press conference after his team lost game 6 and the finals...

Q. (During Sunday’s postgame media session): Does it bother you that so many people are happy to see you fail?

A. James (on Sunday night): “Absolutely not. Because at the end of the day, all the people that was rooting on me to fail, at the end of the day they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today. They have the same personal problems they had today. I’m going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things that I want to do with me and my family and be happy with that. They can get a few days or a few months or whatever the case may be on being happy about not only myself, but the Miami Heat not accomplishing their goal, but they have to get back to the real world at some point.

”

That's so sweet. You know I want the people to buy my Jersey's and my shoes and what not but at the end of the day they'll still have their miserable little lives and be fucking losers slaving away to by my $150 Jersey while I am rich rich rich rich rich rich hahahahahahahahaha! Why so people hate me? You know what Fuck you LeBron I have more respect for Kobe Fucking Bryant than you. At least he's a pro. He's had issues but he shows up and does his job. And he wears I am a dickhead like a badge He doesn't pretend to be such a great guy while being a complete cocksucker. Yes I have more respect for the cocksucker who walks up to you and says Hey I' a cocksucker.

And Finally Carte Blanche Jeffery Deaver's New James Bond novel comes put tonight in America! I am at nerd level fan boy excitement about this! Once I get the book nothing else can or will be done until I finish it. That is why I am writing this now. I apologize as always for the typos and mistakes I am sure there are some doozies. And if you find them and want to make fun of them does it bother me? Absolutely not. Because at the end of the day you'll have to go back to your miserable fucking life while I'll be curled up with the new James Bond book and loving my life.

As Always

KTF.

Count Istvan.

The View From My Ass: The Count Is Not A House Worker

You remember them old time sitcom episodes where the man and wife get into arguments about how hard housework is and how he can do what she does and of course when he goes to do the housework he fails miserably thus learning how hard his poor wife's life really is? Well I am living that today. No I didn't say housework was easy and any fool could do it then set out to prove this fool couldn't. And No I'm not married to a house wife. Hell I've done laundry before and I've even cleaned dishes. I even kinda like doing dishes. So why has tonight been such a disaster?

For starters the Contessa left Friday afternoon for a short trip to see the folks and to go to St. Louis with friends be back Wednesday that's nice yes I'll do the laundry and the dishes no problem you know Monday I promised Caleb (My Nephew) to take him to Raw it's all good have fun bye. Well of course being a Male I didn't do any house work other than getting garbage out and I agreed to let Caleb spend last night over here he left about 6 P.M. So by the time I got around to start cleaning things were 5 days worse than they would have been if I had just cleaned everyday.

Well tonight I do two loads of laundry...wow this ain't too bad. Other than the black sock that somehow got mixed up in the whites I did pretty good. I even thought I separated all the clothes. This one time I really wished I was Ralph, Bob Or Mark Noonan. They never would do anything until they made sure all the coloreds were separated from the whites.

Anyway No harm done. Get this last load in the dryer do the dishes and I can watch the end of Miami, Dallas it's all good. I get the clothes in the laundry the damn dryer won't start. Now I am getting pissed cussing the machine the dogs are getting nervous I am thinking about calling the Contessa why can't I get this damn dryer to work after two loads? Then I look down and see the door is open. DOH! I am Ralph, Bob or Mark Noonan at least tonight. Closed the door got the dryer going up stairs to do the dishes. The sink is loaded.

Now normally as I said I like doing dishes. But I do dishes the old fashion way. I load the sink full of water put soap in the water get my hands in the water and ipso-facto Dishes are cleaned. By now I am tired and just a little pissed. The cat meowed outside my bedroom door until I put him downstairs, I baby sat all day, I did the laundry, I am ready for my wife to be home and I am tired. So I say what about this dishwasher machine thingy how hard could it be? I mean it's not the same as washing by hand but it works right? And how hard could it be to work? I load the dishwasher I go off to watch the 4th quarter of the game I come back out to the kitchen And the floor is covered in soap. SO I also mopped the kitchen floor which wasn't on my list. I just did so with dish-washing detergent. This has been my day.

Tomorrow when I get home and God willing the Contessa is back we're going to the best medium priced steakhouse I can find. Not only because I want to show my appreciation for her but because I have earned it. The crappy dinners, fighting the dryer flooding the kitchen I deserve a break and I damn sure don't mean McDonald's either. There is a lesson to be learned in all of this. Wives who bitch about your men not doing house work parking their fat asses by the tube watching sports-center all night while the laundry sits there until you do something. You should be damn grateful. It could be worse. If he's anything like me the more housework he helps you with the more you'll just have to do later.

KTF

Count Istvan

The View From My Ass

Any and all typos are either intentional or mistakes. In any case they aren't intended to be statements of fact.

Well I talked the Contessa out of canceling our cable. She insist she's going to sulk for a year in protest and that is fine but I'll be damned if I lose my cable over One Freakin Life To Live. As I told her after a solid hour of hearing about how unfair it was. There are 5000 TV channels anymore and maybe 5 or 10 are dedicated to men's programing and many of the "mens" channels like Spike suck The other 4,995 to 4,990 channels might run the football game or NBA MLB playoff game but for the most part 95 to 100 percent of their programing is for you gals. Pardon me if I don't cry any tears over Llandview.

I am reading John Gradner's last James Bond novel Cold Fall or COLD if you live on the other side of the pond. 60 pages into it and on the one hand I got put off already by she's dead, she's alive now she's dead no really for real (of course she isn't) but on the other hand it's pretty funny that a book written in 1996 and this particular part of the book takes place in 1990 the villains are essentially the Teabaggers. They are a group called Children Of The Last Days (hence the name of the book COLD) made up of religious nuts, anti-government militia and the mafia who is only involved because they are making money off of the Religious and paranoid morons. A group of Dale Gribbles and John Hagee's bankrolled by Koch brothers and Donald Trump. Glad it's only fiction.

Whatever else can be said about Gardner's Bond output His villains were more grounded in reality than most of Fleming's. Gone is the half Chinese guy living on his own island which he pays for by collecting bird shit and in are honest to goodness fairly real life bad folks. This is not always a good thing of course. James Bond is nothing if not fantasy but sometimes Gardner seemed to have a sense of where the world was headed. In his 1988 book Scorpius M worries that terrorist are going to make the world so paranoid that we will soon live in a world where one can't even attend a football game (soccer for us Yanks) with out being searched for weapons. Gee that never has happened has it?

Does anybody else find following conservative politics to be kin to watching a Williams Sisters tennis match? We're against election fraud! Down with ACORN! hit the political tennis ball. Oh some woman found 14,000 votes on her personal computer in Wisconsin she's a hero! Hit the political tennis ball. Those greedy teachers make $100,000 a year why are they whining? I can't live on $140,000 a year I need a tax break! Back and forth that ball goes! Today I got on twitter to find the Conservatives all up in arms over a comment that Keith Olbermann made which they turned into a comment he didn't make. The comment was made about Republifembot S.C. Cupp.? S. E. Cupp? who gives a fuck? Anyway the right was up in arms because Olbermann supposedly said Miss Cupp should have been aborted. Of course he said no such thing. But it doesn't matter becuase Cupp said he said it then Malkin said he said then Megan McCain (now there's a true culture warrior folks) said he said it then that Blonde bimbo on Fox that is supposedly a Democratic strategist said he said it. Something gets said it gets repeated and the next thing you know every Ralph, Bob and Ranger Bob is repeating it.

S.E.C. Cupp is a cross dressing cross between Sarah Palin and Velma Dinkly who is only of use to the GOP because she manages to at least physically look smarter than Gretchen Carlson, Megyn Kelly and most every other Rebulifembot. All of the geek glasses and men's shirt and ties however can't hide the fact that like all Republifembots she is a moron however and once she opens her mouth the look at me I am a smart female conservative game is over.

The only reason I mention the Olbermann fiasco is because they created it to make themselves to look like victims, even though they say they hate the victim culture. Here we go playing conservatennis again. It's always conservatives who are always whining about things being too PC! That people take their words too seriously. They scream and yell because they can't call people N***** ,S***** and Fa****** anymore becuase they have no free speech and the world has gone PC! The very same people who believe they should be allowed to say any damned thing they please are always the same ones who say Oh My Gawd! Look at what Olbermann said about S.C.E. Cupp! he said she should have been aborted even though he never actually said that! The Outrage! he shouldn't be allowed to say such things that WE the white conservatives of America might get offended by!

Conservatives now love he Constitution that their second favorite President ever called a damn piece of paper. They love America liberties and freedom but don't want to pay for any of the three. Shit they love America so much that those American loving patriots were shouting shut it down shut it down last week! Conservatives want less government in their lives but want to tell you what God to worship and who you should marry. The list of subjects with which the game of Conservatennis is played is endless and confusing to anybody with an IQ higher than E.C.S. Cupps.

One last final thing. I read this article on Newshounds About Fox and Friends love of Brother John Hagee. Why aren't we taxing this fool? Seriously if we are as broke as the Conservatennis pros say why aren't we taxing Hagee, Parsley, Creflo Dollar, Kenneth Copeland, Joyce Myers, Benny Hinn, The Crouches ETC? Watch these programs they are as much and in most cases far more political than they are religious. In the cases of Hagee and Child Abuser and Ralph favorite Parsley they are almost all politics. And yes the smiling I love everybody hucksters like Olsteen should be taxed as well. Olsteen's church is the Summit where the Houston Rockets used to play. The man's church is an 18,000 seat stadium for fuck sake. Tax free because of religious reasons my ass. Are the mall and helipad in the Dollar compound also religious and there for tax free purposes?

Sure they are.

KTF

Count Istvan

The View From My Ass The Shit I Just Need To Write Something... Anything Edition.

I've come to a conclusion. Social networking sites are killing my blogging output. Well let's be totally honest here that's really not say a whole fucking lot is it now? But still now when I run across comedy gold like this headline from conservatives for Sarah Palin:

CNN Poll Shows that Governor Palin Probably Leads If You Take Huckabee, Trump, and Bachmann Out of the Poll

I mean really you can't make this shit up can you? If you take the Green Bay Packers out of the Super Bowl the Pittsburgh Steelers are world champions. Guess what happens if you take the Laketards out of the NBA last year? Yup banner 18 for Beantown baby! Still it must be comforting to know for Palinheads that if you take every other Republican out of the race she "possibly" could win the Republican nomination for President of the United States.

In the olden days I would find a nugget like this and post it here and half a jolly good laugh at the Conservative idiocy. Now I've posted it elsewhere before I post it here. Often times things like this get forgotten and a result this place as been a grave yard resembling the hopes and dreams of the Palinheads who are rejoicing to learn that if you take everybody else out of the race Palin could possibly "win"

Which reminds me of a lyric from Kris Kristofferson which sums up the government shutdown for me perfectly. It's over and nobody wins. I'm not here to take sides in the deal that pissed off teabaggers and progressives alike. Nor will I point out that it continues us on our current path of slow death instead of just shooting us through the head and ending it quickly which is what the teabaggers want. (OK I'll point that part out) However I want to relay a conversation I had with a person I consider one of my best friends. I have know this person since I was 10 and he is really been loyal to me beyond what a normal person would be. I aint's the easiest guy to like. Anyway I think there was no way in Hades the Government was going to shut down myself. I think this was all a bullshit ruse pulled on by Boner and Obama and everybody else in Washington. So I was no particularly shocked that with an hour to go before shutdown Hey we've reached an agreement! I asked my very good friend what he thought of the "government shutdown" Saturday and he honestly didn't know a thing about it. Never even heard about it. Americans WE CARE ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON IN AMERICA!

Now when I told the Contessa I was shocked that my friend knew nothing about the shutdown she stuck for him (he is kin to her after all) and said well with the 3 babies (he and his wife have a 2 year old an 1 year old twins) He's working so much maybe he hadn't had the time to see any news about the shutdown. Now I might have bought that explanation if in the same conversation I didn't ask him about Nebraska moving Curesnki Gillylen from Wide Receiver to Running Back and Jamal Turner from Quarterback to Wide Receiver and found him completely up to date on those particular subjects. Here is somebody 36 has a wife and 3 kids and doesn't know what is going on with the government of his country and yet he's completely up to date on spring practice news. Look I am not knocking him for caring about Spring ball. Hell me of all people live and die with Nebraska football. You can expect at least one if not more posts here about the game this Saturday but I also know what is going on with my country. Whatever the excuse too busy, too depressing, too confusing the amount of time Americans spend on issues that truly affect their lives is appalling and it's one of many reasons we seem to be on a one way ticket to hell.

I have already mentioned I really like the show House Hunters and HH International. Another show I like is on the Food network and that is chopped. How about that segue. from The Government mess to chopped? Anyway I love the show because the contestants get a basket with 4 ingredients that have jack shit to do with each other and they make a dish out of it. And often it looks good. Tonight at one point they had goat brains and at another fish heads. I've gots to admit I'd eat the fish and probably the goat brain if you didn't tell me what the fuck it was. Anyway I find it fascinating that the contestants open up a basket with Monkey turds, baking soda, rice-a-roni and squirrel nards and in 30 minutes make something edible.

See I just wrote that last part here first. I am getting better. Well this is something isn't it? Not much I know. But hey the Spring game and the NBA playoffs are coming up. And baseball has started. Actually I am not much for Baseball and judging by Jonathan's twitter feed (fucking social network sites again) it's best I not bring the Padres up much anyway.

KTF
Stephen
Count Istvan
The Sexiest Man Alive if you take away pretty much every other man on the planet!

The View From My Ass

Congratulations to the President for making a shrewd decision to counter balance Bernie Sanders wonderful 10 hour filibuster. And oh by the way congratulations to all of the other Democrats for standing up with Bernie and really showing your convictions. One thing nobody can accuse you Democratic politicians of is standing up for what you say you believe in. I'll say one thing for the Repukes. Must of their ideas suck ass but by God they stick by and don't abandon their suck ass ideas. Imagine if Democrats stuck by their better ideas. Anyway I digress back to praising President Obama. Today he made one helluva a shrewd move to counter balance Bernie Sanders. He turned to Bill Clinton to sell his policies. You see this was as good a move by the President as last weeks cave in was bad. For just as Sister Sarah of the north couldn't convince me that the Capital of Nebraska was in fact Lincoln (like she would actually know) Bill Clinton could sell me that the Capital of Nebraska was Obert. (Population 40) Bill Clinton is natural born salesman and in his profession that is of course a very good skill to have. Bill could take any piece of shit and polish it up so nice that you would buy it and place it high on your mantel piece. Most people have a set idea on whether or not the President made a wise choice in extending the Bush tax cuts. Personally I think he made one helluva a mistake, however if there are some people out there who are not set in their convictions on the matter Bill Clinton is the man to win them over. He'll even convert a few who are on the other side of the fence. The man is a A+ salesman no doubt. I must however ask one question of both President Obama and the Clinton's. If the President is going to keep turning to a Clinton to sell every tough decision he makes why exactly did they bother running against each other in the first place? Just asking.

I haven't smoked a cigar in a week until last night. Yesterday being the nicest day we've had in these parts in several weeks with the Temperature breaking 50 and the lows even being where the highs normally are I had made up my mind that last night I was going to toke up for better or for worse. The problem is by 2 in the morning I still had not smoked my cigar. Finally about 2:15 against my better judgment I lit up. BAD IDEA. First of all smoking a cigar just before you go to bed guarantees that when you wake up the next day not only is your mouth dry but it contains a taste that can only be describes as Elephant piss dripping off of Jabba The Huts legs. And nothing not tooth paste, not antiseptic, not cough drops nothing can get that taste out of your mouth. And depending on how shitty the cigar is that taste can linger. Since I smoked a C level cigar I have just now lost most of the taste. The second reason smoking a cigar late is a bad idea is common sense. You aren't your sharpest at 2 in the morning as a rule and there for it's not the best time to be messing with a fire hazard...duh! Still knowing this I kept my vow to smoke a cigar last night while listening to my IPOD. Well keep track of your ash is usually a smart idea. When it gets long knock it off in your ashtray. Because if it falls off It can burn whatever it lands on. Last night it was my left hand as I picked the cigar up with my right hand. And yes this was far from the first time this has happened. I came damn close once to burning a body part that most men would tell you was more valuable than a hand with Cigar ash. I've dropped a cigar went to catch it and caught the lit in. Amazingly other than a hole in bedding I have never done any serious damage as of yet with my habit.

Just as I don't profess to be the smartest man in the world I don't believe I am half as stupid as the stupid shit I often do. I mean I know the correct way to spell all of the little errors that will turn up in this little piece of shit rant on planet boob's blog tomorrow and yet i still make the peace of shit errors. (Intentional) Still I am the guy who reads hot surface when light is on and sticks his hand on the stove. On the other hand the Contessa, a very smart woman who rarely does stupid things, once passed a store called the winery and asked me what I thought they sold. Tonight as we drove from a restaurant in Council Bluffs back into Omaha to go downtown to see the lights we drove through Southeast Omaha which or those of you who aren't familiar with Omaha is highly Hispanic and many o the signs in the area are in Spanish as that is who the businesses cater too in that area. We drove by a store with signs in Spanish and the Contessa trying her best recollection of her Marceline, Missouri high school Spanish said "cigarettes and liquorish." After a few seconds of trying to figure out why a store would sell Cigs and Liquorish or how they could even get away with such a combination I said Hon pretty sure that it says "Cigarettes and Liquor"

Speaking of the Contessa I have to fill out her College Football office poll and number the games 1 to 35 with 35 being the game I am most confident in. Pretty sure that will be Oklahoma-UCONN with Nebraska-Washington being 34. I do wonder how confident one can be predicting Florida International and Toledo or Middle Tennessee State and Miami of Ohio. I have already made sure that I wont be thrown out of the house should she not win. And I am pretty sure I won't see a penny should she do so. One bowl game puts me into a bit of an ethical dilemma. The Insight Bowl Iowa vs Missouri. On the one hand you have a fan base filled with an amazing amount of cockiness and self-worth for a program that has very little actual history of being successful and on the other hand you have...Missouri. Sure Iowa fan talks an amazing amount of shit for a team that wins one major bowl every 50 years and sure you could fill what they know about football into Glenn Beck's jock but they are better than Missouri's hideous fan base. For one thing Iowa fan will actually go to the game. For another as shitty as Iowa's football glory is it beats the holy fuck out of Missouri's. So even though it's against almost everything I stand for and it will leave a taste in my mouth that rivals the shit taste of a middlin' cigar that has been building up in your mouth while you sleep SKY HIGH BY THE FOURTH OF JULY IN IOWA! One wonders if Missouri has their usual bowl fan showing of 12 people if even Bill Clinton could sell their program to prospective bowls after this. If anyone could it would be Bill that is if President Obama can spare him.

KTF

Stephen

The View From My Ass

I know all too well that every toothless hillbilly who had spent the entirety of January 20th 2001 to January 20th 2009 with one hand clutched on their testicles and the other shoved up their ass while keeping a dopey fuck grin on their faces while they completely fucked the country over now get's his panties in a wad every time the new President takes a breath. By GAWD there is no country these pukefucks love more than the GOOD OLE USA unless they of course they lose the election. Then there is no country they hate more. They are so pissed they can't decide whether or not they want to start a revolution or secede. Now it's because of these stupid cockfuckers that I have been selective in saying much negative about the President. I see what he was handed and who he's working with. That being said, Barack, I like you dude. I think you can be a great one so you know I have your best interest at heart. Listen to me Barack... THE IDEA OF A SPENDING FREEZE IS THE DUMBEST FUCKING IDEA SHORT OF PLAYING THE PRO BOWL THIS WEEK. It's been tried dude and it has never worked. It won't work it can't work. John McCain suggested it and I said wow that's fucking stupid I can't vote for that. I don't know who has been giving you McCain's stupid pills but I hope you quit taking them soon before we inaugurate President Whore Of Wasilla.

I know this is Nebraska and any suggestion to make a change on anything is usually greeted by the entire 1.8 million person population simultaneously going poopy in their drawers but I say this is in all sincerity to Tom Osborne, If the Big Ten comes a calling please give them a listen. It's time to tell those fuckers in Texas to take their conference, shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways and stick it straight up their candy ass. Nebraska wanted to move the football game next fall from Saturday to Thursday ESPN had already asked Nebraska if they would do so and Nebraska said yes but Texas being Texas and being in a position of being judge and jury of the Big XII said they would not play the game on Thursday. When they were asked for a reason why they wouldn't agree to play the game on Thursday originally said hey fuckers we're Texas we don't need no stinkin' reasons then they said well we don't want the kids to miss too much class time. One wonders if they said this with a straight face. Here's the thing that pisses me off more than Texas once again saying he we're Texas fuck you it's that let's pretend for one instance the roles were reversed. Texas has a home game they want to play on Thursday and Nebraska said no. I guaranfuckteeyou that either The Big XII or ESPN would step in and make Nebraska play on Thursday. Why becuase Texas wanted it and what Texas wants Texas gets and if they don't get it in regulation they'll keep putting time on the clock until they do. Or of course threaten secession. Well I say don't let the door knob hit ya where the good lord split ya.

God is he or she real? Fuck no I am not going there. She is.



So my copy of Strangers In The Night The Deluxe Edition is in St. Louis Missouri tonight and it will take Fed EX until February 1st to get it here (according to their estimate) Fuck I can walk the son of a bitch here faster that that. Of course of it were a CD I was really anxious to have I would just go out tonight and buy it. So i'll be patient.

I got the Bing Crosby CBS Radio Years Box Set 1956-1958 7 CD's. Man was it good stuff. I'll save you another what the fuck happen to music rant but What the fuck happen to music?

Sunday is The Pro Bowl and The Grammy's. Take a criminal, the most hardened criminal you can find, make him sit and watch the Pro Bowl and The Grammy's and if he doesn't turn around and kill you then he's fit to be returned to society because nothing could make him want to kill again more than that.

The Friday before last Friday, does that even make sense?, I decided that with Football season coming to an end and do the fact that I can be a true shit head these months I was going to treat the Contessa to a fairly nice night out. Made a reservation to a restaurant that while not being real "upscale" was a pretty nice place and came recommended. ( I won't mention the name in fairness to them) I've ate there before several times myself and never had bad food. I am telling you my food was so burnt you could hardly cut it. It was barely edible. I'm not one to cause a scene so I told the waitress, whom by the way did a great job, that everything was good. The next Friday we went to Summer Kitchen cafe which is mostly a Breakfast and Lunch place and may have 3 things on the menu that cost more than $10. The bill for the 2 of us was a little over $20. I am telling to you the food was so much better than the fancier place it's not even funny. I guess it goes to show you you can't judge restaurant or people by their wealth or perceived class. You'll be wrong most every time.

Bill O'Reilly made some really stupid comments about South Chicago being the same as Haiti. Which to Billo it is. Much like Haiti South Chicago is filled with darker skinned people who both have less money than he does and whom can't stand him. Now I've got to admit I am with Billo on this one down with South Chicago. Not because it has some poorer neighborhoods that are largely African American but because South Chicago gave us this guy...



For what it's worth I imagine Bill O'Reilly's entire knowledge of South Chicago is based on a 37 year old Jim Croce song and even then he's only familiar with the song because Sinatra covered it.

BTW before I go it used to be whenever Billo would say stupid shit like this his gal Friday Damail would show up like clockwork and defend him telling off anybody who dare question her man. What happened to her?

KTF

Stephen

And There Used To Be A Ball Park Where The Field Were Warm And Green


Seems to me we always look at life from the situation we are in. As a child I always figured we got the worst end of the stick. If you were a Mom you got a day, if you were a Dad you got a day, if you were a child you were told Money doesn't grow on trees. And God help you if you ever pointed out that actually it does. Then of course as I got older I learned what the adults always told me. Sure as an adult you get one day as a child you get 365 of them. It's August 23rd... your day. And it didn't need to be anything special to be your day either. Oh look suns out...IT'S MY DAY BITCHES! One of the many Frank Sinatra songs that I love is There Used To Be A Ball Park. In it's lyric Frank talks about how great the old team was and how much the new one sucks and about how nothing holds the same wonderment that everything used to hold. Now count me as one who thinks the ball park and the old and new team in the song is metaphorical, As a child Easter was great, 4th of July was great, Halloween was great, Christmas was great, Thanksgiving was a day off School and Football. One by one those days lose their luster. Easter is a day for bad TV, 4th of July was never the same for me after I saw the neighbors cat get spooked and run in the street and get killed as a child, I went out for a half an hour on Halloween when I was 12 said this sucks and went home never went out again, Thanksgiving meant a lot of food I didn't like...At least Christmas was still great. Now don't get me wrong I am happy. happier than I have been in years. Constantly happy. Bored but happy and boredom isn't really a the worst thing in the world. With all due respect to George Burns I have always said if I woke up 18 tomorrow I would commit suicide right then and there and believe me I would. But If Oprah wanted to make me 10 again maybe we could talk turkey. ah but then I would have to go through 14-20 again...fuck that shit.

Critics Seriously Why Do We Need Them?

Speaking of Frank Sinatra I have already mentioned I hate critics. Why do we have critics? seriously aren't we all critics? are we so fucking stupid or so lacking in belief of our own judgment that we need somebody to tell us whether we like something or not? Anyway Tomorrow Sinatra New York comes out and allmusic's Thom Jurek has his review posted for it already. He gives it ** 1/2 our of ***** That's not good. Now I happen to already know Thom Jurek is a fucking moron and you can google his name and see I am nowhere near alone in my assessment of him . So I take it back this is very good. to quote Jurek...

Only the hardest core Sinatra fan will really and truly be pleased with this set. For the rest of us, it's ultimately a letdown. One wonders why a performer who was so iconic -- and, for the majority of his career so exacting in the way he pushed himself to excel, need be represented with anything this uneven. No matter how well-intentioned, this effort falls considerably short of the mark.

Well shit Thom considering the set costs $79 suggested retail ( you can find it in the $50's but that is still a good chunk of change.) I am guessing that only the hardest core Sinatra fans will be buying this set. Thom is shocked that the material from the 50's sounds dated and also amazingly questions why more Live Sinatra CD's are being released.

The real question, given the overall uneven sound quality of this collection, and the fact that so much live material of Sinatra's exists already...

Given the fact that you are clearly a moron it's amazing that you were given the assignment of reviewing this box set. It doesn't matter how much live Sinatra has been released for fans there is never enough. Much of this has been released already for people who know how to find it. The Sinatra family is finally getting wise and making some $ off it themselves instead of just bitching about bootlegs. Here's what we learned from Jurek's review. A 4 CD 1 DVD Frank Sinatra Boxset with material ranging from 1955-1990, that costs $55 to $80 depending on where you buy it ( BTW don't pay $80) has varying sound quality, Sinatra's voice isn't as good on disk 4 as it is on disk 1, and only a hardcore Sinatra fan will really want it. Did we not know any of this before somebody actually paid Jurek to tell us? BTW not once does Jurek actually bother to critic the music in the boxset other than to point out Sinatra's voice in 1990 isn't that it was in 1955, 1963 or even 1974. Damn I would not have known with out you Thom. Reminds me of the idiots on Amazon who buy used casino cards then give a 1 star review because the cards are used. Or buy the James Bond Graphic novels and give 1 star reviews because they are graphic novels. Common sense is so lacking in the world right now.

I May Be A Skeptic But I Am Also Superstitious.

Given the fact I do not believe psychics, Nostradamus, Elvis is alive, or anything Early2it writes, even when I actually understand it, I am shockingly superstitious. I have listened to Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass the night before Nebraska games since I did so in 2005 and Nebraska beat Iowa State 27-20 in double overtime. I don't eat Philly Cheese steaks before any of my teams play on game day. I've done this 3 times and my teams are 0-3. I've played a Bing Crosby CD the night of Irish tunes the night of Celtics playoff games and held cat collars while cheering them on to an NBA championship. I won't wear a blue shirt on Nebraska gameday and have asked the Contessa not to wear shirts the color blue as well. Have any of these superstitions been proven to scientifically improve my teams chances to win or have actually made a difference in the outcome? About as much as tests have scientifically proved that drinking Dr. Pepper slowly improves all 23 flavors. Still I am not tempting the fates. Listening to Lonely Bull may not have lick to due with Nebraska's performance the next day and they might very well win without me doing so but I ain't about to take that chance. Saturday I retired my #74 Nebraska jersey with "The count" written on the back after a two game losing streak that included that amazing Clusterfuck against Iowa State for a look I haven't gone with in years. The Dress shirt and Red Nebraska tie. Nebraska won but looked every bit as shitty as they've looked the 2 weeks previous. Do I go with the tie next week? Or bring the Jersey back? The Contessa likes the tie look so I'll prolly go with it again. Oklahoma will almost certainly win regardless of any of my superstitions but who knows? Maybe Casino Royale will work it's mystic powers.

There is one time I ignored superstition. In 2004 when I lived here and The Contessa in Missouri. She spent 7 weekends in the fall in Omaha including the one I proposed marriage. Nebraska was 5-7 in 2004. Guess which seven weekends they lost? And the weekend after I proposed marriage (on a Thursday) Nebraska lost to Texas Tech 70-10. But then I figured the bad luck then was having Bill Callahan for a head coach not her. Of course I think all of this serves one purpose It makes me feel as if I had something to do with outcome even though of course I had none.

Some Parting Questions

Why are conservatives who loved George W. Bush now complaining about spending and a lack of experience?

How Can Campbell Brown be married to Dan senor and have us believe No Bias No Bull? Ok maybe that one isn't fair but the question stands

Why was it rainy and cool to cold all October only see the first day of November bring us a sunny and 73 degree day?

Why is the game tonight Falcons and Saints?

Why is the networks bringing us the game employing a known sexual harasser to do play by play while trying to dig up dirt on the private lives of the coaches and players they cover?

While am I still typing?

Who Cares?

KTF

Stephen