Friday, April 29, 2011

The Time Now Is To Care For Alabama Not Point The Finger

I must speak as somebody who lives in a bright red state about some of the comments I've seen on twitter and various other sites about how Alabama is just getting what it deserves because of the state's political leaning and racist past/present. While I too find the irony of watching one of the leading breeding grounds of Teabag America running around yelling where is the government? Where is the government? I would also point out there were 813,500 people who voted for Barack Obama in the state of Alabama in 2008. What of their suffering? And what of the 1.2 million who voted for McCain? That was certainly their right as an American and though that is not an act I agreed with I certainly don't find it so egregious that I take pleasure in the fact that some of those people today are today with our food, shelter or even worse loved ones.

If you're going down the path of taking pleasure in the pain of Alabama because of it's red hue then you certainly have no right to point the finger at Right Wing morons like Pat Robertson for his gays caused every violent act of Mother nature routine. One is just as bad as the other is it not? I have family in Hartselle Alabama an Uncle who is in his late 70's and an Aunt who is in her 80's. Neither is in what you would call good health. He has had cancer and heart troubles but his mental capacity is fine. She is fine physically but has Alzheimer's. I talked to him yesterday and he told me they would be with out power for the next 3 to 8 days. This is a real tragedy affecting real people.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

End Of An Era

Shocking news, ladies and gents - Ralph's palace of lunacy has completely disappeared from Blogger, to be replaced by a message stating that the entire blog has been "removed." I doubt it's a massive change of heart by our favorite nutcase, so we must assume that sufficient complaints to Blogger have been heard.

I guess now we'll have to write our own conclusions for "The Morning After." I'll wash my windshield in your memory, Ralph.

I guess it's up to me the Count to eulogize Ralph since I drew the short straw and all. I can only hope I can regain my composure enough to deliver a few short words about the Dearly departed Ralph Phillips with out getting all emotional because I promised myself I would not. Ralph was a stran...unique man. Many is the time he would scream about PIAPS or go off on a 37 minute ramble about all of the things we supposedly hated. It was during these times of being accused of hating all things Ralph held dear like Rod Parsley, Apple Pie and John Hagge that I come to understand Ralph's true love for America For ulster and for us.

While other who encountered Ralph may have wondered who or what is PIAPS? Why does he care about Ulster? Why is he always screaming? Did he really just threaten to call the FBI on me? Is he this really nuts? All I could think of was the genuine love in his heart
. For his beloved America, English language and Sarah Palin. Many is the time his personal motto his way of life "The Culture war is so fucking on" struck a real chord in my heart as did his call for the "beautiful Coulter plan for peace. You will be missed Ralph Phillips. Rest well buddy rest well. May they have no caps lock in heaven!

Part II. 7-15.

Barack Obama...You ARE A Natural-Born Citizen!!

If you have never watched a minute of The Maury Povich Show, the daytime talk show boils down to one simple sentence: "You are the father!", or "You are not the father!". Almost every day, the people who come on Maury's show are women in a bad relationship, the men who treat their women like shit, live in a trailer park, don't have a job, and cheat around often, and the ugly whores who start fights with the girlfriend and the audience, and claim that the man is really in love with her and is carrying his child. Regardless of the outcome, you can count on a few things happening on that show:

* There will be fights between the girlfriend and the mistress.
* Maury will announce whether or not he is the father of said mistress.
* The girlfriend will either have enough smarts to break off the relationship and the whore will be with the cheating ex-boyfriend, or she will idiotically stay with his lying ass and beleive that he will change his ways and will never see that home-wrecker ever again.
* Everyone on that show will act like the ignorant, ridiculous caricatures we see on The Jerry Springer Show.

By now, you know that billionaire Donald Trump, has been in the news lately and has once again rung the bell on the Birther conspiracy - that Barack Obama was not born in the United States, therefore unqualified to act as President of the United States of America. Conservative figures like Michelle Bachman, Newt Gingrich, Sarah Palin, and the other right-wing talking heads of the world have, for months, played with, or hinted in interviews, that they believe, or have suspicions, that the Birthers are on to something: that Barack Hussein Obama, is not who he says he is. It had gotten to the point where a poll asking Republican voters whether they believed the current President wasn't born in the United States, almost half of them - 47% of GOP voters to be exact - actually believed that he wasn't an American-born citizen.

Well, after months (and years) of debate, the results of this are in...Barack are a natural-born citizen of the United States!!!

The move came as a surprise to the press corps, many of whom had not shown up for Wednesday's early-morning White House briefing. By the time word had spread that Obama would be making a 9:45 a.m. statement on the matter, however, the top anchors at all the networks had scurried into the briefing room.

Once there, they received a presidential scolding for their concern with "silliness." Obama began his five-minute statement with the complaint that he wouldn't be able to get the networks to break into their regularly scheduled programming for a speech on policy proposals.

"I know that there is going to be a segment of people for which no matter what we put out, this issue will not be put to rest," Obama said. "But I am speaking for the vast majority of the American people as well as for the press. We do not have time for this kind of silliness. We have better stuff to do. I have got better stuff to do. We have got big problems to solve."

There you have it: the man was born in Hawaii on August 4, 1961 to a white mother and a Kenyan father. Thank you, birthers for wasting two years of our time on this issue and thank you Donald Trump, for lowering the debate and reaching out to the lowest common denominator of people's deep-seeded prejudice in order to position yourself in Iowa in 2012. This whole episode was like a taping of the Maury show: you had a rabid, hot-tempered guest, the once-in-a-while honest and sympathetic figure, and an audience that couldn't believe the nonsense spewing from the batshit and clearly prejudiced guest who dragged this out to begin with.

But at the end of the day, those papers the President decided to show to put to bed the nonsense of his citizenship won't be enough for the Birthers. Case in point: Orly Taitz, the Queen of the Birthers, her exchange with Lawrence O' Donnell, and O' Donnell finally having heard enough of her malicious lies.

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President Obama's birth certificate was never the real issue on the table. It was - and continues to be - his skin color. The Birthers cannot except a man of color as their Commander-In-Chief, or the fact many successful African-Americans have made huge strides in contributing to the continuing story of our nation's history. These are the people who are stuck in the Jim Crow-Era and miss the "good ol' days", like a wife misses her husband who's on a business trip cross country. Guys like Trump and Bachman may not be racist, but they are happily catering to the lowest common denominator in our country, which is much worse and more harmful to our society. It's time we moved on from this silly and stupid episode and turn our attention to more important matters, and put people like the Birthers and "The Donald" where they belong: back in the sandbox where they can continue to play pretend.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011


The Book Bond: CARTE BLANCHE BENTLEY SPECIAL EDITION REVEALED!: "To celebrate the release of Carte Blanche , the new James Bond book by Jeffery Deaver, on 26 May 2011, publisher Hodder & Stoughton has par..."


John Cox who runs the wonderful The Book Bond blog has a thread about the special Bentley edition of the up coming James Bond Novel Carte Blanche. I am not Ranger Bob I don't pretend to have a 1000 British Pounds lying around the house or roughly the $1650 in American Dollars either. But it does beg the question if I had the cash would I spend it? On a Book that will cost about $14 or $15 from either major book seller for store club members? (which I am)

I mean yeah the Car case is cool but the Book is the same. I am just not sure I could justify spending that kind of money on the book.

Justification or no however I am pretty sure If I could afford this I would probably buy it. Fan boy that I am.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Time To Pray

OK...I received this in my e-mail today. This is not a usual thing for me, as most people who have my e-mail are like-minded enough with me not to share stuff like this, and those who are not thus like-minded tend to know better. This came from a lady I'm doing volunteer grantwriting for to help abandoned cats. So I give her the benefit of the doubt despite the opening line of the forwarded e-mail:
It is time to Pray!

Pray if you want to!
Well...duh. Nobody ever stopped you from praying, as I recall. Knock yourselves out.
CBS and Katie Couric et al must be in a panic and rushing to reassure the White House that this is not network policy -- re: Andy Rooney's commentary on prayer.
As it shouldn't be policy. There's a reason it's called the "establishment" in a widely-regarded, seemingly-official entity endorsing a religious position. Like, say, a major network weighing in to support one religious view. Or a government.
Folks, this is the year that we RE-TAKE AMERICA & CANADA
OK....who's "we" and what's to re-take? Also, please, leave Canada - where we have freedom of religious association on the legal books, thanks very much - out of it. That's one of the reasons I made the move North...
Keep this going around the globe. Read it and forward every time you receive it. We can't give up on this issue.
And here it comes in its full glory...
Andy Rooney and Prayer

Andy Rooney says:

I don't believe in Santa Claus, but I'm not going to sue somebody for singing a Ho-Ho-Ho song in December. I don't agree with Darwin, but I didn't go out and hire a lawyer when my high school teacher taught his Theory of Evolution.
Yes. And I don't believe in the Tooth Fairy, but I'm not going to raid a 7-year-old's pillow for a Sacajawea dollar coin, and I think Freud is full of it but I'll happily entertain a defense of "penis envy." So, what's your point?
Life, liberty or your pursuit of happiness will not be endangered because someone says a 30-second prayer before a football game. So what's the big deal? It's not like somebody is up there reading the entire Book of Acts. They're just talking to a God they believe in and asking him to grant safety to the players on the field and the fans going home from the game.
I agree that someone's 30-second prayer before a football game doesn't endanger me. But someone spouting it over a loudspeaker, on the assumption of broad crowd assent, leading to an atmosphere that suggests hostility to anybody whose views may differ....well, that's the slippery slope.
But it's a Christian prayer, some will argue.
Damn straight.
Yes, and this is the United States of America and Canada, countries founded on Christian principles. According to our very own phone book, Christian churches outnumber all others better than 200-to-1. So what would you expect -- somebody chanting Hare Krishna?
OK, first of all, there is no "United States of Canada," so wipe that right off your slate before you start. You want to badger the USA, fine. Don't meddle in other people's countries.

And who said that More was necessarily Better or Preferred? McDonald's claims X-billion served. That doesn't make their food wholesome, healthy or in any way "better." Might doesn't equal right, not even in the Yellow Pages.
If I went to a football game in Jerusalem, I would expect to hear a Jewish prayer.

If I went to a soccer game in Baghdad, I would expect to hear a Muslim prayer.

If I went to a ping pong match in China, I would expect to hear someone pray to Buddha.

And I wouldn't be offended. It wouldn't bother me one bit.
The larger question looms, though. Why should you expect to hear a prayer at ALL? At a sporting fixture? Over the loudspeakers? On the assumption of crowd approval? Seriously. Prayer is for religious services. Sporting events are for, well, sports.
When in Rome . . .
When in Rome...better cover up if you plan to go to the Vatican.
But what about the atheists? Is another argument.
Sure it is. They are equally citizens under the law. They have rights.
What about them? Nobody is asking them to be baptized. We're not going to pass the collection plate. Just humour us for 30 seconds. If that's asking too much, bring a Walkman or a pair of ear plugs. Go to the bathroom. Visit the concession stand. Call your lawyer!
Let's turn the tables. Let's say that the person at the microphone is going to offer a paean to Zeus in ancient Greek. Would Andy and his fellow Christians be happy with Microphone Guy's fans saying "Just humour us for 30 seconds. If that's asking too much, bring a Walkman or a pair of ear plugs. Go to the bathroom. Visit the concession stand. Call your lawyer!"

They wouldn't. That is the litmus test for fairness in this issue...and it's what makes Andy so very, very wrong.
Unfortunately, one or two will make that call. One or two will tell thousands what they can and cannot do. I don't think a short prayer at a football game is going to shake the world's foundations.
Again, a short prayer doesn't shake the world's foundations. But people can pray all they want to, to whomever, as individuals. It doesn't have to be institutionalized, blazed across the Sony Jumbotron, amplified to the nines to the entire stadium.

What is it about the America-Is-ONLY-A-Christian-Nation crowd that demands the backup of the sound reinforcement stadium crew to get their message across? Keep it to yourself. And if you think that makes your prayers less powerful, then I'm sorry for you, because that diminishes your own convictions.
Christians are just sick and tired of turning the other cheek while our courts strip us of all our rights. Our parents and grandparents taught us to pray before eating, to pray before we go to sleep. Our Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. Now a handful of people and their lawyers are telling us to cease praying.
Excuse me. I grew up in America, too. I never prayed before meals or bed. I have as much right to assert my beliefs as you have. You have no right to dictate yours to me, and I assume no right to dictate mine to you. Why do you persist in doing so, and insist that you have every right to do so? Why is it not enough for you to attend the church of your choice and observe whatever private religious practices you please, as I do? Why do you demand these broad-brush, public, sweeping assertions of a faith that you know damn well not everybody within earshot supports? Does the microphone make faith bigger? Because, if it does, seems to me it's a piss-poor faith to begin with.
God, help us. And if that last sentence offends you, well, just sue me.
I won't sue you. But I feel sorry for your point of view.
The silent majority has been silent too long. It's time we tell that one or two who scream loud enough to be heard that the vast majority doesn't care what they want. It is time that the majority rules! It's time we tell them, "You don't have to pray; you don't have to say the Pledge of Allegiance; you don't have to believe in God or attend services that honour Him. That is your right, and we will honour your right; but by golly, you are no longer going to take our rights away. We are fighting back, and we WILL WIN!"
I'm quite sure that Jesus would approve of your kind, welcoming, tolerant posture.
God bless us one and all . . . Especially those who denounce Him, God bless America and Canada, despite all our faults, We are still the greatest nations of all. God bless our service men who are fighting to protect our right to pray and worship God.
Oh, here we go. Again it's the exaltation of military service as the only calling that matters, the only cause that protects someone's faith. Are we really back in the time of the Crusades in this shabby way?

Clue for you: Nobody in Canada cares about being the "greatest nation." We're bigger than that. We don't have to be the popular guy swaggering around campus to feel good about ourselves. Don't try and make us matter how much Stephen Harper tries to convince you that's who we are.
Let's make 2011 the year the silent majority is heard and we put God back as the foundation of our families and institutions. And our military forces come home from all the wars.
Silent majority, my ass! You lot have been running the dialogue now for decades, ever since the "I Found It!" bumper stickers and the rise of the so-called Moral Majority. It's time for saner voices than yours to set the terms. Nobody's stopping you from living by your own moral codes - please do! - but you have no right whatsoever to push them on the whole of society, so pack up your Bibles and scoot! Solicitors not welcome.

Though I hope you're right about the war part.
Keep looking up.
If you're waiting for that "Rapture" thing, then you'd better be prepared to wait quite a while and invest in plenty of batteries for your portable radio.
If you agree with this, please pass it on. If not delete it..
Consider it deleted after this post. What a pile of poo.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Cold Fall Review

*Spoilers if you think you might want to read these someday. Though it is 15 years old.

Too Many Villains Too Many Girls and a James Bond who goes beyond womanizing to complete asshole sink Gardner's last James Bond Novel.

A James Bond Book/Movie can be good with a poor villain. A James Bond Book/Movie can also be good with bad Heroine though this is a much tougher problem to overcome. A James Bond book/movie can not be good with a bad James Bond. That is what ultimately makes Cold or Cold Fall one of the worst James Bond books in the series.

The Book reminded me of the Movie The World Is Not Enough. Not that the plots are in any way similar but in the fact that neither quite knew what it wanted to be. The World Is Not Enough wanted to be a deeper Bond Movie with a more complex plot and more human emotion and even more realism. Which is fine except for one problem. Denise Richards cast as a nuclear scientist named Christmas Jones. I've often wondered why of all the James Bond movies why is TWINE the one I can never get a grasp on just where to rank. It was only on the last viewing of the film that I figured out it was the split personality of the film. There is Moonraker and On Her Majesty's Secret Service and I love them both but TWINE's attempt to be both leads the film to be a sort of On Her Moonrakers Secret Service and robs the film of any intended purpose. And the same is true with Cold Fall. Though TWINE is a better movie than Cold Fall is a book.

Bond is more grown up! He's real, he's an Adult. So why does he act like a teenager with over-flowing hormones through out the book? The book starts in 1990 with the terrorist act of blowing up a plane. Bond hears an old lover Sukie Temptesta (Nobody Lives Forever) was suppose to be on the flight he is devastated by the thought of her death. However in Washington D.C. Bond meets Sukie at the motel She's alive! Bond is so happy discovers she is a true love of his life. Curses Bond has to go to a Meeting to discus the plane being blown-up and when he comes back Sukie has been blown up in her car. Bond is crushed again.

Bond is really devastated this time in Ms. Tempesta's death He has to tell himself to pull together and find out who did this for Sukie's sake. Bond is so crushed that about 5 pages after hearing how devastated he was over Sukie's death he's sleeping with another woman. Even by Fleming's James Bond standards the speed with which Bond jumps out of depression over Sukie's death and in to bed with FBI Agent Toni Nicholetti would be out of character and we were told he was the character in teen fantasy stories. This Bond is for Grownups.

Then the Book actually get's quite good until... Bond goes to investigate Sukie's step-son's (whom are older than she is) Vila. They have kidnapped M. whom by this point pretty old and pretty worthless. We meet another woman. "Fliss" Whose name is similar to Fredericka 'Flicka" Von Grusse whose Nickname was Flicka but now is Freddie but we are getting ahead of ourselves. Fliss helps Bond save M and dies for her troubles. Another woman's death to pray on Bond's mind. He'll need a Psychiatrist after this one.

Jump ahead to the second part of the book or book 2 1994.
Bond is now worried that his fiance the aforementioned Flicka Von Grusse (Never Send Flowers, SeaFire) who is a coma (from the beating she took in SeaFire) will not survive. The Doctors tell him that even if she does make a recovery she'll be wheel chair bound and will probably never walk again. Bond sweetheart of a fella he is in this novel decides he'd rather she'd die because she wouldn't want to live in a wheel chair and of course he doesn't want to take care of her. God Bond is an asshole in this book. He begins to think of ways to dump her easily. Is Bond Newt Gingrich and nobody told us?

But alas he gets taken away from the Flicka Freddie problem by a audio tape sent to him by yet another old flame Beatrice Maria De Ricci (Win, Lose or Die) and this cause Bond to think of how much he loved her and she should have been the love of his life. Um Bond Freddie Flick is still alive you know.

Bond goes off to meet Beatrice Flicka Freddie does the world a favor and dies thus leaving Bond for Beatrice whom he loves more than any woman he has ever known and wonders why he ever left her. If you're keeping track this is the third Love of Bond's life and at least the 4th woman he's slept with in what has been to this point oh about 120 pages.

At the end of the book Bond and Beatrice job well done return to his flat with Freddie Flicks ashes which they decide to keep in his bedroom because Beatrice says she is apart of their lives. No really. Anyway Sukie turns out to be alive all of the time and evil Toni is killed by the Temptesta men so Bond does manage to get 4 women killed in the book. And he even feels guilty over FreddieFlick's death as her ashes sit in the bedroom over looking Bond boinking Beatrice.

Now this is just the part about Bond in his women. And at the end of the day there are just too many women, too many deaths and Bond going from depression devastation and despair to nailing another woman in the space of 6 pages to over look anything else that might be good. And this is ultimately the tragedy of the book. When we get away from the nonsense the plot about a group of religious nuts, anti government kooks and organized crime taking over the world starting with the United States in a good one. In fact some of Cold Fall contains Gardner's best work since earlier in the series. As I said elsewhere the book is a maddening combination of very good and extreme lousy. It would even have been better if we learned about it sooner than 13 pages before the book ends. Why Gardner didn't focus on that instead of oh Sukie's dead...she's alive Bond is crushed Bond sleeps with Toni she's dead and so on.

The Villains are The Tempesta's both Sukie and her Son in laws. And Brutus Clay who does almost nothing in the book. Except get shot down twice. None of these villains is really fleshed out so they aren't memorable in the least. In fact they are a pretty stupid lot. Again more time on them and their evil plan would have made this a pretty solid book.

And about Sukie Tempesta. When first we meet her way back in 1986 in Nobody Lives Forever (Gardner's best Bond book) She is with her Body Guard Nannie Norich and as I said at the time Norich not Tempesta was the best woman so of course she was evil and gets killed. Tempesta was miss goodie goodie and lived. So now she was a psychopath all along who actually killed her husband? And about that earlier book. If Sukie is crazy surely she knows of the reward for bringing in Bond's head on a silver platter yet she makes no play on killing him as Norich does? Cold Fall actually manages to kill not just one book but two. Good job.

Finally at the end of the novel Bond meets the new M. who is a female nicely syncing book and movie Bond world together. It seems for his last Bond novel Gardner wanted to bring back as many old characters as he could for the last go around. Where was Persephone Proud? (Role Of Honour) I liked her a lot. Maybe she could have turned out to be an evil hooker! maybe just maybe Gardner made Bond such a sexist dick in this novel to again point out what he never liked about the character. Or Maybe as has been surmised Gardner just didn't give a shit anymore and wanted to move on. Either way it doesn't work. Gardner wrote some entertaining Bond novels and I am thankful for everyone of them and I am equally glad they are finally reprinting all of them. But Cold Fall or COLD is a sad way to go out. ** 1/2 *****

Friday, April 22, 2011

Boston 113 New York 96.

Just wait until this series get's back to New York then it will be a series! Uh yeah. Not much to say. Boston dominated open to close. New York's notoriously bad defense has actually been pretty good for the most part this series. Tonight it was really really bad. The only real complaint is the Bench which played better was still kinda lousy. You hate to celebrate before it's time but this series is 3-0 Boston. If somehow Boston loses they would deserve ridicule. Great win tonight on the road.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

See If You Find The Point To This Story

Once the Count and the Contessa had a buy one dinner get one free coupon to a local Mexican restaurant. And a coupon is of course another name for a voucher. I ordered as I always do 3 shrimp enchiladas off the a la-carte menu. Because of a technicality ordering off the a la-carte menu instead of a dinner we were told are coupon our voucher so to speak was not good.

Now to me it was no big deal we're talking a Mexican restaurant where even with an appetizer the bill was probably less than $30 however imagine someone requiring a voucher for a service much more important than a free meal at a Mexican restaurant and then saying that the voucher was not redeemable because of a technicality.

MLB Takes Control of The Dodgers

Major League Baseball seized control of the day-to-day operations of the Los Angeles Dodgers on Wednesday, an extreme measure resulting from the tumultuous ownership of Frank McCourt and the reported $433 million he has in debt.

Commissioner Bud Selig released a statement announcing the move by MLB, making this a dark day in the club's history.

Frank and ex-wife Jamie bought the team in a heavily leveraged deal in 2004 and moved from Boston. There were debacles from the start, so many the owners had to hire a crisis management firm to address the issues. The divorce and ensuing financial woes have been the most dramatic, with the public learning of their alleged misuse of Dodgers money and the extravagant lifestyle of the owners, whose divorce settlement includes nine properties.

Earlier this week, the Los Angeles Times reported Frank McCourt took out a $30million loan from Fox, the team's television partner, to meet payroll through the end of April.

On Wednesday, Selig issued this statement: "I have taken this action because of my deep concerns regarding the finances and operations of the Dodgers and to protect the best interests of the club, its great fans and all of Major League Baseball."

Seven hours after Selig made his announcement, Frank McCourt issued a statement expressing puzzlement.

"Major League Baseball sets strict financial guidelines, which all 30 teams must follow," McCourt said. "The Dodgers are in

compliance with these guidelines. On this basis, it is hard to understand the commissioner's action today."

Read more:


Jonathan is the baseball fan though as a Padres fan I am sure it breaks his heart to see LA in disarray. I do know this. There are probably 2 franchises maybe 3 counting the Cubs that MLB could not lose and The Dodgers are one of them. If they are in any kind of trouble MLB is bound to step in. The Montreal Expos are one thing the LA Dodgers are another.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Jonathan Goes To the Movies: Hanna, Your Highness, and Scream 4

Another great week last week at the movies: an action thriller that blows you away, a comedy that proves weed and dick jokes aren't always funny in every setting, and a horror flick that doesn't suck!

I don't know what's more electrifying: the entire 1 hour and 51 minutes of Hanna, a new personal best for Brit director Joe Wright (Pride and Prejudice, Atonement), or the fact its young star, Saoirse Ronan is this good, this much full of raw talent at 16. Hanna's life has been the woods, learning how to hunt prey, both for food and for a personal vendetta her father (Eric Bana) has against for CIA agent Marisa Wiegler (an ice-cold Cate Blanchette) for the death of his wife. The moment Hanna flips on the switch, a tracking beacon which allows Vegler to know their whereabouts, the game is on and Joe Wright, along with screenwriters David Farr and Seth Lochhead and a hypnotic score by the Chemical Brothers, knock you for loops and dare you not to leave your seat for even a minute. As our young heroine tries to stay two steps ahead of Wiegler and her mercenary goons, Hanna begins to question the life her father has only told her through an encyclopedia and through fairy tales: who is she? Why is she such a threat to Wiegler? Why does her DNA tests she took when she escaped containment say her structure is abnormal? I'm not telling, but I will say Ronan takes the role of Hanna and gives a performance that is well beyond her years and matches step-for-step her scenes with Bana as the father with a secret, and the chilling demeanor of Blanchette's Wiegler.
***1/2 stars out of ****

Fair warning: if you think weed and dick jokes are crude and unfunny ways to get laughs out of an audience, then you won't like Your Highness, a parody of the epic fantasy quest that's filled to the brim with weed and dick jokes, with the f-bomb thrown out there in nearly every fucking sentence. Danny McBride, who plays the demented and wildly funny Kenny Powers on the HBO series Eastbound and Down, plays Thadeous, a stoner prince with two ambitions: get blazed and chase pussy, be it tall or small - literally, the opening scene has him in hot water with the midget kingdom for banging the king's daughter - while his brother Fabious (James Franco) slays dragons and goes on various quests. Thadeous has one more chance to prove he's worth a damn to his father king by going on a quest with his brother to save his the princess Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel) from a dark wizard (Justin Theroux) obsessed with fucking a virgin and watching a dragon come out of her vagina (No, i'm not making that up) to control and bring the kingdom to its knees. Can Thadeous retrieve a mythical blade that can destroy this evil baddie and win the heart of a beautiful warrior (Oscar-winner Natalie Portman) with a love of fighting and taking dips into a pool in a thong (Yes, that actually happens)? Not going to say anymore, except that Your Highness tries too hard to be a spoof of the fantasy quest, but it ends up being a kind of Monty Python skit, filled with blue humor and weed, which is a shame because director David Gordon Green made a hysterical comedy in 2008 called Pineapple Express, about stoners in over their heads trying to stay one step ahead of the bad guys., and it was insanely brilliant; probably the best stoner comedy since Joel and Ethan Coen trotted out The Big Lebowski in '98. His latest effort just a swing and a miss.
** stars out of ****

Scream 4, the latest installment of the popular horror series that began with Scream in 1996, is a film in which the adults and teenagers know all the rules and cliches of horror movies, yet make the same mistakes which end up making them another corpse on the evening news, which is probably the point. Director Wes Craven and screenwriter Kevin Wilkinson know how ridiculously cliched and familiar the horror film has become, so they throw out all the stops. The opening scene, involving two awesome cameos by Anna Paquan and Kirsten Bell, is one of the funniest i've seen in a while, which sets up the reunion between the three remaining survivors of the Woodsboro massacre: Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell), reporter Gale Weathers (Courtney Cox), and her husband, now sheriff Dewey Riley (David Arquette), and how Sidney's return comes 11 years after the murders and the two teen girls who end up knifed by Ghostface, the same psychotic, mask-wearing, knife-wielding baddie who racked up the body count in the first three movies. You know the drill: the main characters begin to turn on one another as the body count begins to pile up and the audience is forced to act as the detective as the teens, along with Sidney, Dewey and Gale are all on trial in the court of public opinion. Is the killer the moody and creepy Robbie Mercer (Erik Knudsen) the ex-beau to Jill (Emma Roberts), who will do anything to be with her? Could it be Deputy Judy Hicks (Marley Shelton), the earnest sheriff who likes Dewey too much? Is it the film geek (Justin Brandt) who knows horror films inside and out? Or is it Gale herself, who's looking to score one more story on Ghostface by being the murder herself? I'm not telling, and it would ruin the insane, bloody, and twisty ride that follows in its wake.

*** stars out of ****

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Spike Lee Is A Douche, Boston Is Up 2-0 And This Series Might Kill Me.

Spike Lee is a douche. Let me just get that out. Yes he made one good movie (X) And yes buried somewhere inside 2 or 3 of his other movies is a good movie waiting to get out but it's not really his movies that make Spike a Douche. it's Spike himself and knowing that right now as Knicks fan he is beyond pissed gives me more joy than the actual game did. Now as for the game.

Boston won again 96-93. They needed to comeback in the last 20 seconds again. Mello Anthony who did nothing else wrong tonight failed in the clutch again. Though lest you blame Mello he only had 42 points and with out he and Bennett Salvatore God knows were the Knicks would have been.

Boston got a huge game from Rajon Rondo who schooled Toney Douglas tonight to the tune of 30 points. Ray Allen was hot early and Paul Pierce kept Boston in the game in the third quarter. KG was off and a non factor until the last 20 seconds and then he made 2 huge plays hitting a basket and getting the ball and calling a timeout.

So if all of The Celtics starters had their moments how did the Knicks almost win this game basically with out 2 of their 3 best players? For starters Anthony was un-Godly and Boston could not get a rebound to save their lives tonight. Boston rebounded the ball so well in game 1 that people basically forgot they are a really shitty rebounding team. Tonight they reminded us big time.

The other thing that kept the Knicks in the game was Bostons' bench. The Celtics Bench was bad in game 1 it was terrible tonight. And one doesn't see Boston going that much further if they remain a team that is 5 deep. Jeff Green made some offensive plays including a 3 in the second half but for the most part he was awful as was Delante West. Kritic got in the game waved to the crowd and was never seen again. However the biggest disappointment off of Boston's Bench was big baby Davis. He got a huge put back basket late in the game but he really played about as bad as I have ever seen him play. tentative on offense non existent on defense. Hopefully Jermain O'Neal can give more minutes Friday.

There is a tendency to give New York the next two games since the first two in Boston were so close. I think that is foolhardy. NY will be healthier but what will their mindset be? They have to feel they should be up and they are down 0-2. One thing is for certain if it's close late I like my teams chances.

Monday, April 18, 2011

The Count On Ayn Rand

Just read the the Think Progress thread on Ayn Rand. You know what the Ayn Rand followers and The Count have in common? Neither of us has ever read her books. Nor will we ever and for that reason alone I won't comment on her books. I will comment on her idiot followers however. Some of her modern day Acolytes have claimed to have read her books but it's tough to believe many conservatives when they make such claims. They have a habit of claiming a great love for one book while showing their love by quoting from another. Kind of like the James Bond fan whose favorite Fleming novel is From Russia With Love and his favorite scene is when Odd Job eats the cat.

I do know most people who are followers take what their leaders believe or have said they believe and turn it in to something completely different than what was said or intended. Was Rand a shrewish shedevil? Possibly. Maybe even probably but if she wasn't her followers sure have turned her into one and of course that's the way they like her. Evil needs evil to look up to. If Rand wasn't entirely evil they needed to make her so to be the perfect hero for their movement which very much is.

We do know Rand hated Christianity (until she was old and losing her faculties) Of course that last part could have been made up by Jebus loving Teabaggers who needed to invent such a story so they wouldn't have to live with their conscience over idolizing such a person. Although the Bible, another book many cons claim to read but don't says to make no man an idol. For those of you looking to worm your way out on on a technicality by no man and Rand is a woman man means mankind. Most of you know this but some of you may not. Of course if you ask a Teabagger to chose between Rand and Jebus they'll take Rand every time with out question. Jebus after all didn't care about taxes and drove the Teabaggers from the temple.

Then of course there is the little issue of Rand's supposed hatred of the welfare state (well we do have her own words on this) and the fact that she collected social security and medicare. Big deal. Congressman Paul Ryan, who would fuck Rand's corpse if he could, collected social security until he was 18 because of the death of his father. Today he gets government ran health care. But he wants to abolish social security and medicare. Does the fact that Ryan is a hypocritical douche-bag who claims to have required his intellectual douchebaggery from following Ayn Rand speak to the evilness of Ayn Rand or the evilness of Paul Ryan? Is Paul Ryan just some idiot who was told something Rand said and what it was Rand meant and believed it with out bothering to actually read or research what was said or what was meant? I tend to believe both.

I say none of this to excuse Ayn Rand. Again I am not familiar with her work and am as familiar with it as I ever will be. She very well might have been a God awful evil shrew of a woman who had no redeeming qualities what-so-ever even still I suspect if she saw her followers today and the teabag movement she helped create I suspect that even she might shake her head and ask WTF?

Sunday, April 17, 2011

About That We'll Turn It On Thing.

Both the Celtics and Lakers blew off the last month of the regular telling anybody who would listen they would "turn it on" when Playoff time came around.


Yes it's been proven a team can blow off the last month and get away with it. Boston did this just last year when it looked like they might not even get past Miami in the first round at the start of the playoffs only to come with in inches of winning it all. However it's a fool hardy plan. We saw that today with The Lakers and the Celtics. LA tried and tried to turn it on but just couldn't find it. As a result they are down 0-1 to the New Orleans Hornets. Boston slept walk through the first half against the Knicks and needed a Jesus Shuttlesworth (Ray Allen) 3pt basket to bail their asses out in an 87-85 win over the Knicks. I think Boston and LA will win these series. I even think they'll probably meet in the finals but sleeping walking for a month only to rely on "turning it on" is not only not wise it's a good way to find your ass at home.

LA now finds itself in an 0-1 hole. Boston is damned lucky to not be the same. Now would be a good time to turn it on if they can and only have themselves to blame if they can't find the switch.

That Is All

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Spring Game Thoughts

Yeah I said I would use the thread below but... New thread.

Weather is not bad. maybe not as nice as the past few years but Temperature in Lincoln right now is 50 and it is sunny. Forecast high of 60 in Lincoln today. Not bad at all.

I am going to have to find the remote I can't listen to commercials for Glenn Beck's radio show

Red wins the toss and will defer. oh the excitement!

Rex Burkhead gets a first-down on first play. Are we happy about the offense or worried about the defense? How about neither.

Crappy punt. Kicking is the biggest worry with this team.

Jamal Turner on a punt return takes it all the way back to the Red 22 yard line.

And white fumbles away the first scoring opportunity.

So far the defenses are much better than the offenses. Huge surprise huh?

Full game through three quarters and perhaps a running clock in the 4th.

Turnovers and penalties how long until we hear Tim Beck has to go?

Tyler Moore hurt. See you can't avoid injuries in this game. Wish you could but you can't. Sounds like Moore isn't hurt badly.

So far really sloppy offensively. Not huge shock though.

Burkhead is having a nice game I agree with Davison a few more carries and he'll be done

Hand off to the fullback!!! Hand off to the fullback!!!

And Taylor Martinez gets sacked on the last play of the quarter 0-0 through one.

Courtney Osborne! Courtney!

Brion Carnes in the game to play QB for the Whites.

Nice run for the whites by the immortal Ty Kildow.

And penalties again.

39 yard field goal and it is good. That's a great sign. First really good sight from this scrimmage.

Ok I have to get caught up.

Brandon Kinnie had a giant kick return then Nebraska actually ran an halfback trap and scored from 10 yards out. Tyler Legate. Sending me in to a football orgasm.

I really think Greg Sharpe is a fine announcer but he is having a rough call. Call it announcer rust.

Jamal Turner makes a catch as the game is warming up.

And the Immortal Tyler Wullenwaber makes a catch. You gotta love the spring game.

It sounds as if Ron Kellogg Jr. is playing some good football but then he always does in the spring game.

66,784 people at the spring game. down from previous years but still very good.

Another fullback trap another touchdown. is Dr. Tom calling these plays? I love it!

14-3 Reds.

Touchdown Jamal Turner but he got called for Unsportsman like conduct but they're saying it happened in the endzone.

50 yard Touchdown pass from Brion Carnes to Jamal Turner. There is a shitty new rule about unsportsmanlike conduct penalties that happen before the player crosses the goal line BUT they said he had crossed the goal line before the penalty so points count. Extra point is blocked.
14-9 Red.

Again I really like Greg Sharpe but he is not having a good call all today

14-9 Reds at Halftime.

Halftime. Adults are now pledging to keep their kids away from Alcohol while discussing which bar they will party at after the game.

Going to have running clock from here on in according to Greg Sharpe.

Taylor Martinez throws an interception.

And they are not running the clock. Greg having a really bad day.

Touchdown Rex Burkhead but holding on the white squad points off of the board.

25 yard field goal isssssssssssssssssssss good. 14-12 reds.

I just fed the cat and apparently missed a defensive score. 21-12 Red. What just happened?

Jamal Turner is having a really big game. Have to remember it's just a scrimmage but he's really playing well.

Brion Carnes has a little Booboo but he is staying in the game. Good sign.

Ethan Davis to attempt a 25 yard field goal and he makes it! 21-15 Reds.

Are our kick returners good or does the kick coverage need work? or are people who have never been on the field with each other out on the field with each other? I tend to believe the later.

The wheels are falling of the wagon in this game now.

So Cody Green who was the starting QB for the white squad but was playing for the red squad just took the white squad on TD drive to take their first lead of the game 22-21. Follow?

Whites 22 Reds 21 after 3. going to get running clock soon.

Another touchdown pass for Brion Carnes. to jacob Smith White's have dominated the second half. 29-21 whites.

Ron Kellogg taking the Reds on a possible game tying drive. if they score they should go for 2.

And the clock is now moving The reds should really go for 2 if they score.

Zach Taylor for a red Touchdown and a Zach Taylor 2pt conversion. 29-29 Of course they went for 2 they had to. I lost track of the score.

Hahahaha The red's kicked an onside kick. White recovers.

Brett Maher to kick a 33 yard field goal to take the lead for the Whites. Fake Incomplete.

And he re kicks it from 34 yards out and he missed it. I hope our kicking game doesn't kill us this year.

White goes for it on 4th down and fumbles with 44 seconds left and the Red has it.

39 yard kick for the Red to try and win the game and it is good! Red wins 32-29.

There were a ton of penalties and the usual turnovers you have every spring game but overall this game was far more entertaining than I expected it to be.

I know you have to temper your enthusiasm because this is only a scrimmage but Carnes and Turner played really really well.

Final Score


Gameday! Spring Game


I am always amazed at how worked up we get over this game which is nothing more than a scrimmage and not even an important scrimmage at that. Bo Pelini has said many times this is for the fans. The work and evaluating has pretty much been done. Yet it's a big deal in these parts. if somebody has a big game tomorrow he'll be the next big thing. never-mind that defenses are running the most basic looks. Of course offenses are as well. The players Nebraska can't afford to get injured like Martinez and Burkhead will play about 2 series and then sign autographs I am sure. In fact injuries are the only thing important that can come out of this game.

So why we need it? The football team probably doesn't. As I said their hard work for the spring is done. And I am sure the coaches could do with out it as well however... The athletic department loves it because even at $10 a pop instead of $65 or $75 * that by worse case scenario 65,000 fans that is a nice chunk of change. And that doesn't factor in the other $ spent on hot dogs and soda and merchandise at Huskers Authentic.

The games biggest purpose however is for the parents of children. I mentioned my friend with 3 young 'uns a few days ago. if he wanted to take his boys to a game you're talking a good $300 to $400 for tickets depending on the opponent. At $10 a piece for tickets he could take his kids to this game and they'll get an atmosphere that is actually pretty damned close to a real game day atmosphere for a small fraction of the cost. This really is just about the only game average folks with kids can afford. At halftime the kids can go down on the field because they do the drug/tobacco and alcohol pledge. They pledge to NOT use those things BTW.

This will be the thread I use for game thoughts tomorrow. I am not going this year though I did get a program for my nephew and myself and had it shipped.

For the record I like the White squad in a low scoring game 14-7.

Friday, April 15, 2011

James Bond Omnibus Volume 2.

4 months? 6 months? After being released in the UK JB Omnibus volume 2 is finally here in the states and after UPS delivered my book to the wrong address yesterday I finally got it today. However since I already had these comic strips which were originally released in 17 Titan Comi...err... Graphic novel collections I can give an honest review of the book already.

I'll save you the blah blah blah that follows. This is a fantastic book and if you're looking for a cheaper way to check out these comic strips for yourself this is perfect for you because it contains many of the best strips.

Many is the time I have been asked Count I just find the Fleming novels to difficult to read is there anything I can read that will allow me to get the feeling of Flemings work with actually having to read Flemings work? Well actually I have NEVER been asked that thank goodness BUT if you want the flavor of Fleming with out having to read the books than the Titan reprints of the Daily Express comic strips are for you.

The strips ran in the Daily Express and Sunday Express from 1958 to 1983 expect for a few years in the 60's when Fleming and a the Express head honcho's were in a pissing match. Originally the comics were faithful straight ahead retellings of Fleming novels however in the mid 60's they made the change in writer from Henry Gammidge to Jim Lawrence. Lawrence began add characters and plot lines to stories such as The Man With Golden Gun and The Spy Who Loved Me. Eventually once Fleming's work was used up The express got the OK from the Fleming's to have Lawrence write his own stories for the comic strips.

The best of these strips were the strips which were rooted in Fleming but added to by Lawrence. And those strips are why Titans James Bond Omnibus Volume 2 is so essential to Bond fans. The first 2 stories of the omnibus are On Her Majesty's Secret Service and You Only Live Twice written by Henry Gammidge with art work by John McLusky. These are with out question the duo's best strips. At 274 panels OHMSS is the longest strip in the series. Just like the wonderful movie it is very faithful to the wonderful book. The strip actually often comes off as a story board for the film even though it was written years prior. It's simply a fantastic comic strip.

You Only Live Twice is another long strip at 201 panels which allows Gammidge and McLusky to completely flesh out Fleming's story. The next strip The Man With Golden Gun was the first for Lawrence and artist Yaroslov Horak. Horak's art work is legendary in Bond fan circles. Whether Fleming died before he finished TMWTGG or only finished and early draft or finished it but his health was so poor that the book suffered is up to debate. What isn't open to debate is that after 1/2 of a very good book the story goes straight into the crapper. This is where Lawrence came in adding characters and plot lines to the story making a 100% improvement. What you end up with is a comic strip that is better than the book it is taken from.

The living Daylights was a short story and it's a very short strip 54 panels. For you JB movie fans who haven't read Fleming the Living Daylights is about the female cellist who is also a KGB sniper. Of the 7 stories in this omnibus this is clearly the prelim or breather story of the group. it's well done but very short.

The Next two stories in Vol 2 are Octopussy and The Hildebrand Rarity. Octopussy was a short story about Bond having to investigate a WW2 hero who was implicated in a murder involving Nazi gold. The story is made mention by the character Octopussy in the 1983 movie of the same name. Again Lawrence takes a short story and adds extra plot to make a fine strip that is arguably better than Fleming's short story. 164 strips

The Hildibrand Rarity was a Fleming short story about a man named Milton Crest who collects rare breeds of fish and is abusive to his wife. (story is used as part of the plot for 1989 License to Kill) Again Lawrence takes Fleming's short story, in this case one of his best, and adds to it creating another very fine comic strip. 183 strips.

The last story of Volume 2 is one of Fleming's most controversial The Spy Who Loved Me. I am in the minority as I love what is often (wrongly) called Fleming's worst book but even I admit the book doesn't translated into an exciting comic strip story. Lawrence takes an off hand mentioned job in Canada changes it and adds to it to create the first half of the story. The second half of the story is the final 2/3rds of Fleming's novel that takes place at the Dreamy Pines Motor Court in Lake George New York and sees Bond save Vivien Michel from the villains Sluggsy and Horror. Again the combination of a Fleming Lawrence production creates a great comic strip one of my favorite strips of the series. 212 panels.

If I were asked by someone who wanted to look into the James Bond Daily Express comic strips but didn't want to invest in the 17 individual Titan books this is with out question the book I would recommend. 6 out of the 7 strips here are over 150 panels and the extra length allows Gammidge and Lawrence to flesh out a full exciting story. I am looking forward to Volume 3 which is due out in 2011 in Britain and who knows? maybe 2019 in the United States. Volume 3 will contain The Harpies, Colonel Sun and the River Of Death and those stories alone will make Volume 3 worth it however after the River of Death the wheels begin to fall of the wagon just a little bit as stories are often kept under a 1oo panels.

James Bond Omnibus Volume2 344 Pages *****/*****

R.I.P. Angela Scoular

A little late with this sad news but Angela Scoular who played Ruby Bartlet in On Her Majesty's Secret Service wonderfully I might add has passed away at age 65 from suspected suicide. She was suffering from Bowel Cancer.
She also played buttercup in the 1967 comedy/disaster Casino Royale.

Leslie Phillips' wife Angela Scoular has died at the age of 65.

Angela - an actress who appeared in two Bond films - had been suffering from bowel cancer.

She was taken to hospital from an address in Maida Vale, west London, after police were called at about 1.50pm.

A police spokesman said: "Ambulance services attended and the woman was taken to a central London hospital where she was pronounced dead at 17.28.

"Next of kin are aware. A post-mortem will be held in due course. Her death is currently being treated as unexplained and officers from Westminster are investigating."

Angela married Carry On star Leslie in 1982. She played Lady Agatha Shawcross in the TV series You Rang, M'Lord? and Cathy in a 1967 production of Wuthering Heights.

Other credits include The Avengers, Penmarric and in 1996 in As Time Goes By.

She appeared in two Bond films - as Buttercup in Casino Royale in 1966 and as Ruby Bartlett in On Her Majesty's Secret Service in 1969

Daily Mail story

The View From My Ass

Any and all typos are either intentional or mistakes. In any case they aren't intended to be statements of fact.

Well I talked the Contessa out of canceling our cable. She insist she's going to sulk for a year in protest and that is fine but I'll be damned if I lose my cable over One Freakin Life To Live. As I told her after a solid hour of hearing about how unfair it was. There are 5000 TV channels anymore and maybe 5 or 10 are dedicated to men's programing and many of the "mens" channels like Spike suck The other 4,995 to 4,990 channels might run the football game or NBA MLB playoff game but for the most part 95 to 100 percent of their programing is for you gals. Pardon me if I don't cry any tears over Llandview.

I am reading John Gradner's last James Bond novel Cold Fall or COLD if you live on the other side of the pond. 60 pages into it and on the one hand I got put off already by she's dead, she's alive now she's dead no really for real (of course she isn't) but on the other hand it's pretty funny that a book written in 1996 and this particular part of the book takes place in 1990 the villains are essentially the Teabaggers. They are a group called Children Of The Last Days (hence the name of the book COLD) made up of religious nuts, anti-government militia and the mafia who is only involved because they are making money off of the Religious and paranoid morons. A group of Dale Gribbles and John Hagee's bankrolled by Koch brothers and Donald Trump. Glad it's only fiction.

Whatever else can be said about Gardner's Bond output His villains were more grounded in reality than most of Fleming's. Gone is the half Chinese guy living on his own island which he pays for by collecting bird shit and in are honest to goodness fairly real life bad folks. This is not always a good thing of course. James Bond is nothing if not fantasy but sometimes Gardner seemed to have a sense of where the world was headed. In his 1988 book Scorpius M worries that terrorist are going to make the world so paranoid that we will soon live in a world where one can't even attend a football game (soccer for us Yanks) with out being searched for weapons. Gee that never has happened has it?

Does anybody else find following conservative politics to be kin to watching a Williams Sisters tennis match? We're against election fraud! Down with ACORN! hit the political tennis ball. Oh some woman found 14,000 votes on her personal computer in Wisconsin she's a hero! Hit the political tennis ball. Those greedy teachers make $100,000 a year why are they whining? I can't live on $140,000 a year I need a tax break! Back and forth that ball goes! Today I got on twitter to find the Conservatives all up in arms over a comment that Keith Olbermann made which they turned into a comment he didn't make. The comment was made about Republifembot S.C. Cupp.? S. E. Cupp? who gives a fuck? Anyway the right was up in arms because Olbermann supposedly said Miss Cupp should have been aborted. Of course he said no such thing. But it doesn't matter becuase Cupp said he said it then Malkin said he said then Megan McCain (now there's a true culture warrior folks) said he said it then that Blonde bimbo on Fox that is supposedly a Democratic strategist said he said it. Something gets said it gets repeated and the next thing you know every Ralph, Bob and Ranger Bob is repeating it.

S.E.C. Cupp is a cross dressing cross between Sarah Palin and Velma Dinkly who is only of use to the GOP because she manages to at least physically look smarter than Gretchen Carlson, Megyn Kelly and most every other Rebulifembot. All of the geek glasses and men's shirt and ties however can't hide the fact that like all Republifembots she is a moron however and once she opens her mouth the look at me I am a smart female conservative game is over.

The only reason I mention the Olbermann fiasco is because they created it to make themselves to look like victims, even though they say they hate the victim culture. Here we go playing conservatennis again. It's always conservatives who are always whining about things being too PC! That people take their words too seriously. They scream and yell because they can't call people N***** ,S***** and Fa****** anymore becuase they have no free speech and the world has gone PC! The very same people who believe they should be allowed to say any damned thing they please are always the same ones who say Oh My Gawd! Look at what Olbermann said about S.C.E. Cupp! he said she should have been aborted even though he never actually said that! The Outrage! he shouldn't be allowed to say such things that WE the white conservatives of America might get offended by!

Conservatives now love he Constitution that their second favorite President ever called a damn piece of paper. They love America liberties and freedom but don't want to pay for any of the three. Shit they love America so much that those American loving patriots were shouting shut it down shut it down last week! Conservatives want less government in their lives but want to tell you what God to worship and who you should marry. The list of subjects with which the game of Conservatennis is played is endless and confusing to anybody with an IQ higher than E.C.S. Cupps.

One last final thing. I read this article on Newshounds About Fox and Friends love of Brother John Hagee. Why aren't we taxing this fool? Seriously if we are as broke as the Conservatennis pros say why aren't we taxing Hagee, Parsley, Creflo Dollar, Kenneth Copeland, Joyce Myers, Benny Hinn, The Crouches ETC? Watch these programs they are as much and in most cases far more political than they are religious. In the cases of Hagee and Child Abuser and Ralph favorite Parsley they are almost all politics. And yes the smiling I love everybody hucksters like Olsteen should be taxed as well. Olsteen's church is the Summit where the Houston Rockets used to play. The man's church is an 18,000 seat stadium for fuck sake. Tax free because of religious reasons my ass. Are the mall and helipad in the Dollar compound also religious and there for tax free purposes?

Sure they are.


Count Istvan

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Oh Jesus I Am Going To Have To Be Understanding

This is not a death in the family but it might as well be for the Contessa. They have cancelled All My Children and One Life To Live.

ABC has announced that the network is “evolving” its daytime offerings by canceling “All My Children” and “One Life to Live” and making room for two new shows.

The two longtime staples of afternoon TV-viewing will conclude in September 2011, and January 2012, respectively.

The cancellation of One Life To Live that is going to kill the Contessa.

Update: I just got the call she's read it. And as expected she isn't pleased.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Kobe Bryant Calls Ref A Faggot Doesn't Get Thrown Out Of Game

I can't even imagine what the reaction would be if somebody other than Kobe or LeBrick James said something like this to a ref. They certainly would have been thrown out of the game. At least now we see why Laketards behave and act the way they do. They get it from their hero.

The View From My Ass The Shit I Just Need To Write Something... Anything Edition.

I've come to a conclusion. Social networking sites are killing my blogging output. Well let's be totally honest here that's really not say a whole fucking lot is it now? But still now when I run across comedy gold like this headline from conservatives for Sarah Palin:

CNN Poll Shows that Governor Palin Probably Leads If You Take Huckabee, Trump, and Bachmann Out of the Poll

I mean really you can't make this shit up can you? If you take the Green Bay Packers out of the Super Bowl the Pittsburgh Steelers are world champions. Guess what happens if you take the Laketards out of the NBA last year? Yup banner 18 for Beantown baby! Still it must be comforting to know for Palinheads that if you take every other Republican out of the race she "possibly" could win the Republican nomination for President of the United States.

In the olden days I would find a nugget like this and post it here and half a jolly good laugh at the Conservative idiocy. Now I've posted it elsewhere before I post it here. Often times things like this get forgotten and a result this place as been a grave yard resembling the hopes and dreams of the Palinheads who are rejoicing to learn that if you take everybody else out of the race Palin could possibly "win"

Which reminds me of a lyric from Kris Kristofferson which sums up the government shutdown for me perfectly. It's over and nobody wins. I'm not here to take sides in the deal that pissed off teabaggers and progressives alike. Nor will I point out that it continues us on our current path of slow death instead of just shooting us through the head and ending it quickly which is what the teabaggers want. (OK I'll point that part out) However I want to relay a conversation I had with a person I consider one of my best friends. I have know this person since I was 10 and he is really been loyal to me beyond what a normal person would be. I aint's the easiest guy to like. Anyway I think there was no way in Hades the Government was going to shut down myself. I think this was all a bullshit ruse pulled on by Boner and Obama and everybody else in Washington. So I was no particularly shocked that with an hour to go before shutdown Hey we've reached an agreement! I asked my very good friend what he thought of the "government shutdown" Saturday and he honestly didn't know a thing about it. Never even heard about it. Americans WE CARE ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON IN AMERICA!

Now when I told the Contessa I was shocked that my friend knew nothing about the shutdown she stuck for him (he is kin to her after all) and said well with the 3 babies (he and his wife have a 2 year old an 1 year old twins) He's working so much maybe he hadn't had the time to see any news about the shutdown. Now I might have bought that explanation if in the same conversation I didn't ask him about Nebraska moving Curesnki Gillylen from Wide Receiver to Running Back and Jamal Turner from Quarterback to Wide Receiver and found him completely up to date on those particular subjects. Here is somebody 36 has a wife and 3 kids and doesn't know what is going on with the government of his country and yet he's completely up to date on spring practice news. Look I am not knocking him for caring about Spring ball. Hell me of all people live and die with Nebraska football. You can expect at least one if not more posts here about the game this Saturday but I also know what is going on with my country. Whatever the excuse too busy, too depressing, too confusing the amount of time Americans spend on issues that truly affect their lives is appalling and it's one of many reasons we seem to be on a one way ticket to hell.

I have already mentioned I really like the show House Hunters and HH International. Another show I like is on the Food network and that is chopped. How about that segue. from The Government mess to chopped? Anyway I love the show because the contestants get a basket with 4 ingredients that have jack shit to do with each other and they make a dish out of it. And often it looks good. Tonight at one point they had goat brains and at another fish heads. I've gots to admit I'd eat the fish and probably the goat brain if you didn't tell me what the fuck it was. Anyway I find it fascinating that the contestants open up a basket with Monkey turds, baking soda, rice-a-roni and squirrel nards and in 30 minutes make something edible.

See I just wrote that last part here first. I am getting better. Well this is something isn't it? Not much I know. But hey the Spring game and the NBA playoffs are coming up. And baseball has started. Actually I am not much for Baseball and judging by Jonathan's twitter feed (fucking social network sites again) it's best I not bring the Padres up much anyway.

Count Istvan
The Sexiest Man Alive if you take away pretty much every other man on the planet!

Thursday, April 7, 2011


Yeah the blog is working for me. Don't know what the problem is.

Jonathan Goes to the Movies: Jane Eyre and Source Code

It's rare where I go to the movies every weekend, that I come out enjoying both new releases. This week, I review a solid sci-fi action-thriller and the first great movie of 2011.

Source Code - Confession: the premise to Source Code had me thinking the worst: decorated Afghan War soldier Capt. Coulter Stevens (Jake Gyllenhaal) learns that he is apart of a governmental experiment that, if successful, can be used as an advanced tool to fight the War on Terror. Stevens goes back in time into the last 8 minutes of a victim on the train. He must replay the 8-minute scenario again and again in order to find the bomb and the mad bomber before the city of Chicago goes boom! To me, it sounded like Speilberg's sci-fi classic Minority Report meets the godawful Vantage Point, and last year's brilliant and thrilling Inception, and Source Code kind of is. The reasons why the Source Code can only go back in time for 8 minutes is confusing and a major plot twist i'm not going to reveal, and about halfway in, the flashbacks to the past before the train blows becomes tiresome. What saves Duncan Jones's (who made the most underrated and underappricated film of 2009 in Moon) sophomoric offering is a tense and exciting screenplay by Ben Ripley and a dynamite performance by Gyllenhall who finds the movie's haunting soul. Much like Nolan's Inception, Jones is asking the audience to think and play along in Steven's world as he tries to sort out his mission from his personal dilemas. The result in is an action-thriller with a soul.
*** stars out of ****

Jane Eyre - Last year, it took only one month before movies like Shutter Island and The Ghost Writer made lasting impressions on me early into the new year. It took three this time, but Jane Eyre, the sophomoric follow up to director Cary Fukuanga's Sin Nombre, is a fantastic Victorian-era romantic dram, containing two of the best performances so far this year in Mia Wasikowska in the title role, and Michael Fassbender as Mr. Rochester. The last 1/3rd of the film falls into predictable melodrama as Rochester's demons are brought to light and Jane leaves the quiet home of John Rivers (a surprisingly good Jamie Bell, redeeming himself after a weak performance in The Eagle) and his sisters, but by then, the performances and a sharp and fiery script, along with the stunning cinematography and production value will have you transfixed into Jane's world. Here it is, the first great movie of 2011.
*** 1/2 stars out of ****

Could This Be Our Ralph Philips?

Well since we now know Ralph's name is Ralph Philips I did a Google image search and this what I came up with...

Ralph James "Bucky" Phillips (born June 19, 1962) is a convicted murderer from Western New York caught on September 8, 2006 by the Pennsylvania State Police.[1] He was wanted for the shooting of three New York State troopers, one of whom died from his wounds.

On September 7, 2006 he became the 483rd fugitive listed by the FBI on the Ten Most Wanted list.[2] Prior to his capture, Phillips attained the dubious distinction of being one of the few fugitives ever to be simultaneously on the FBI Ten Most Wanted Fugitives list, and the U.S. Marshal Service's Top 15 list.[3] He replaced Warren Jeffs on the FBI's list and was apprehended the day after he was added.

What do you think? Does this sound like our Ralph?

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Glenn Beck has left the building

The story:

"I am going to leave this program later this year, but I am not leaving Fox, and I will explain at the end of the program," Beck said. "There is much more important news than 'what's the big fat chunky guy on TV going to do in his future?' This show has always been about our country's future."

Don't let the door hit ya on the way out.

This Is Just What Ankeny Iowa Needs Another Conservative Pervert

Teen Finds Campaign Worker At Back Door At 3AM - Des Moines News Story - KCCI Des Moines

It is refreshing to see somebody in that town take the time to raise their teen-aged daughters.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Dipping A Toe In The Fundie End Of The Pool...

After two weeks uncoupled from the Internet, it was with some trepidation that I once again paid a call at Fundies Say The Darndest Things. I fear I was not disappointed.

First, there was this little gem...
First, there is no such thing as marital rape. Once consent is formally given in public ceremony, it cannot be revoked; the form in which marital consent is revoked is well-established. It is called divorce.
And, next, this incredible misconstruction...because, as you know, we Pagans are all about automotive discombobulation...
The assistant director [of the TSA] told [Carole Smith, a Wiccan] he was investigating a threat of workplace violence. He said that her former mentor in on-the-job training, officer Mary Bagnoli, reported that she was afraid of Smith because she was a witch who practiced witchcraft. She accused Smith of following her on the highway one snowy evening after work and casting a spell on the heater of her car, causing it not to work.
And the rest ranged from the silly...
liberalism = no morals

which means liberals are Satanists.

What libs propose when they want more government, is a Satanic world government.
To the downright sad, grammatically and in family terms as well...
(a mother's response to her daughter coming out of the closet)

"My daughter Cara Louise,

"In all the years of my life, yesterday was the worst day. Not only have you turned your back on me and Dad, but you've turned your back on God. Clearly He is testing you and you have Failed this test.

"I don't know what I did wrong to raise a lesbien daughter. Maybe God is puneshing me. All I know is I couldn't sleep last night and when I did for only five minutes, all I could think of was your perverted life style.

"I am sorry but your Dad and I cannot except you back into our house as long as you are following the deeds of the Devil. We will still love you but we cannot except you as our daughter as long as you are living your life in sin.

"I've asked Scarlet and she tells me that she knew this entire time. She has told me that she does not believe in God and I know that she can be saved. I hope that you can be saved my dear daughter but until that time I can not say that we are family. I will miss you and my heart is broken

"Your mother."
I honestly don't know how these people manage to function day in and day out in normal society.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Butler Vs UCONN National Title

Any thoughts on the game go here.

After one of the most entertaining NCAA tournaments off all time we got one of the worst final games of all time. Connecticut beat Butler 53-41. The story of the game was Butler couldn't deal with UCONN's height inside and couldn't hit Raul De Molina (or myself for that matter) in the ass from the outside.

Let me just get this out of the way Butler had an off night to be sure but all of this Butler bashing I see on the net is comedy. Unless you are a UCONN fan shut the fuck up. Your team wasn't playing the national title were they? Hell mine lost by 29 in the first round of the NIT for fuck sake. I damn sure am not going to bash Butler for being the second best team in the country.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Open Thread Final 4 Thread

It's a very lovely day at least here in the Midwest. I Love this weather. Well Home Ralphyfan! We Missed you. Any thoughts on Unions, Final 4, your gold investments you bought off of Larry Rhodes.

Butler 70 Virginia Commonwealth 62. Difference in the game was Butler has been there and done that before. The experience in this atmosphere showed down the stretch.

UCONN 56 Kentucky 55

So we have the Bulldogs of Butler Vs The Huskies of Connecticut. So it's a National Championship for Dog Lovers.

Brett Favre who was never one of the best 20 Quarterbacks in any of the 6 decades in which he played was voted the 20th best player in NFL history. Even more laughable the fans voted him 6th. I can only imagine that idiots who are constantly jerking off to Mr. over-rated like Boobie Peters voted over and over again

1979 Orange Bowl

Unfortunately Oklahoma wins 31-24 still it's a cool video.

1995 Nebraska Oklahoma Game.

Friday, April 1, 2011

I kind of like this layout.

it's bright and cheery. And if you say it's sissy I'll kick your ass. No really it is a little um whatever I like it.

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