Tuesday, September 9, 2008
The Count Is Having Yet Another Birthday
Ok officially it's not my birthday for about another 2 hours but tomorrow something important might happen so here is my birthday thread. This is my Cody Glenn birthday :) If Tom T. Hall and MIke Gundy know what they are talking about in 6 years I'll be a man.
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ET, later: And now it is the day. Many happy returns, Count!
Edit: The Count:
Well today is the Count's 34th Birthday and he has to admit he is feeling a might low. No it's not that middle age nonsense. Whose to say I am middle aged? My life might be 3/4's over for all I know. What has the Count feeling low is there is a new moran on newshounds off topic and from what I can ascertain he's just the kind of chump that smacking the piss out of would bring great joy to the Count's heart. A Black Jeremiah. A Black Canadian Jeremiah. Maybe I need to write a note to the fuckwa...gentleman and see if I can get him over to the blog where I can properly smack the shit out of him.
Ok I have to be honest. I think Sarah Palin is Physically attractive how ever she also makes me have to work hard to remember I don't approve of Male violence against Women under any circumstance. True I haven't seen much of her. I couldn't stand to see any more though. If I was around her much at some point I would just have to punch the bitch. OK I would never do that. I would give her some $ to STFU. I have done that before. When I was 14 I was on a double date in Huntsville Alabama with a cousin who lived there. At some point I had too much of the accent. I offered her $10 to shut up. I may be the only male in history who has ever offered a female money to shut her mouth.
Now that I am an old fella I figured I would post some of things I have learned in all my foolish years:
You can't put lipstick on a pig. (This I just learned today)
Never talk about politics on a sports board or sports on a politics board. ( you can substitute board for friends)
The personal is political is bullshit. Your politics have no bearing on your personal taste. I love Country music, football and The Andy Griffith show and would go nuts in San Fransisco in 10 minutes. Just has there are conservatives in San Fransisco would go nuts in 10 minutes in Omaha.
There are no such things as psychics. If people could see the future they would be in Vegas making a fortune.
You show me somebody who gets along with everyone and I'll show you a phony.
When I was 15 I had no idea how fast I would be 30. I am sure I was told but I didn't get the message. It took longer going from 10 to 15 than it did to go from 15 to 34. My older relatives tell me I'll be 60 even faster. I believe them.
You can tell a teenager not to touch the stove because it's hot all you want to they are going to burn their hands anyway.
Children before the world takes a shit on them are God's greatest gift. Sadly that age seems to be getting younger and younger.
You should never make your loved ones say they are sorry and vice-verse. I remember one of the nastier arguments I have ever had with Contessa. We were engaged and she was staying with me for the weekend. ( Sorry Jerry. We weren't living together if that makes you fell better.) We were in one of those "and your Momma too" arguments and I said something incredibly stupid and she stormed out of the house with smoke coming out of her ears. In all my years I have never seen a woman that pissed and I never want to again. Anyway I was sure that that was the end of the relationship but she was back 20 minutes later with food. We ate, laughed and forgot about what it was we were arguing about. Neither of us ever said I am sorry and neither of us needed to. This doesn't mean you shouldn't say it. But if it's forced it's worthless.
Sometimes you have to drop the f-bomb and throw the damn plate. I use to admire people who kept an even keel but I don't anymore. If you have never been pissed how do you know you are happy? Same thing if you have never been sad.
The kid who plays in the shit to find the pony is just as fucked up as the kid whose afraid he will break everything.
When you think the worst thing in the world has happened to you it almost always leads to something good that is just as big happening. Now this isn't always true. Not sure what good could ever come of losing a child or a loved one but in most things times of adversity lead to times of joy.
Also your life does not get any better the older you get. You do however build up a defense to handle the shit. Things that seem like the end of the world don't slow you down near as much once you've been there and done that.
From depression comes the best creativity.
Don't ask people about their private lives because they just might want to talk to you about it.
Most Republicans are as good or better people than I am. Of course I can be a real asshole :)
Anyway That's enough from me.