Sunday, August 3, 2008

What Stephen Colbert Should Have Said.

For those of you who haven't heard Stephen Colbert has pissed off the town of Canton Kansas. yes all 800 of the redneck hi...err fine Americans are up in arms over his comments that he made on The Colbert Report.

Because I care and I am a fan of Stephen Colbert I will fix his joke so nobody can take offense.

Then he had fun tearing into the town --

"That place is a ****hole. Whooo! You can smell that dump all the way from Omaha.

"You know what they say about Broken Bow Nebraska? Nothing. Nobody talks about it.

"I would say that we should convert it to a landfill, but that would be insulting to landfills.

"If Dorothy was from Broken Bow, Nebraska, she would have wished the house dropped on her.

"Hey, say, that reminds me of a joke. How many Broken Bow, Nebraska, residents does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They don’t use lights because they don’t want to see where they live.

"Wow. Well, great, I’m glad I cleared that up because I wouldn’t want to offend anyone."

There you go. Same jokes except now you know you have the truth on your side. And the truth shall set you free.


et said...

My sense is that Stephen can keep this going for a long, long time. Then some "Canton" somewhere will name something after him and he'll move on to the next item.

The man deserves an Emmy big time for his program. He's like a satirical Pied Piper.

Anonymous said...

I don't get this. I think Canton, Kansas should be thrilled Colbert gave the town the publicity.

et said...

There's always a segment of the populace that can't distinguish lighthearted and disinterested mockery - I mean, it didn't have to be "Canton" Georgia to begin with: coulda been anywhere - from malicious slander.

Didn't know so many of them lived in Canton, Kansas, though... ;)

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