Dear Mrs Clinton:
First of all let me just state for the record that I backed Barack Obama in the primary because I felt it was time for America to move away from the Bush Clinton cycle we have been riding the last 20 years. But I have nothing but respect for you and your husband President Bill Clinton. I think the both of you of are fine fine Americans and are testament to just how great The Democratic party is and can be. I am writing you because I understand you will be in my hometown Of Omaha on Tuesday and I thought I should issue this warning.
You see even though I will not be able to attend your rally for Barack Obama I fear you being in the same town as me will put you in grave danger. You see America's greatest defender Ralph has allegedly called the FBI on me not once but twice. I fear the fact that two such desperate Un-Americans such as you and I being in the same city might cause Ralph to blow a gasket and it would not be a good thing for you personally or politically.
So as much as I am honored as a Nebraskan to have your presence bless our state I must state that I worry about the consequences.
Actually in all seriousness I am honored that somebody with as much class, dignity and grace is honoring us with your presence. Your arrival here hasn't been met with the same fan fair and press coverage as brain-dead Sarah's has but we as a state are pretty ass backwards.
Thank You for all the work you and your Husband have done over the last 16 years and thank you for the work you have put in during this election on behalf of Barack Obama. While I laugh at the moronic ramblings of the idiotic right who have dedicated their lives to destroying your family I will never understand what has at times seemed like the same level of hate that has been thrown at you from the left. That makes me frustrated and confused. Though I did not support your candidacy for president and no doubt disagree with you on some issues you will all ways be to me one hell of a woman.