Sunday, April 5, 2009

I Will Post This Here As Well.

I wrote this for at SOLN and since it fits into this blog I will post it here as well.

I refuse to make a 14 year old a full fledged member of this gang because who knows once he gets done suckling on his Mommies titties he might amount to something other than Sean Hannity's pool boy. But lil 14 year Jonathan Krohn is one to keep an eye on for the future. Who knows in 4 years If this place is still here lil Johnny may be our #1 poster child. 18 Year olds is eligible. (The grammar error is intentional.) Though somehow I think by then his ship will have crashed and he will be just another deep neo-con thinker whose bright promise flamed out much too soon from Michelob, ass kickings know real life.

For Now he's being home schooled...of course. What better way is there than homeschooling to brain wash a child? This way he gets kept away from pesky things like facts while his texts books are written by Coulter, O'Reilly, Limbaugh, Hannity, Savage, Beck, Horrowitz and Goldberg Both Bernard and Bill. Not to mention the real deep text books written by true thinkers like Rand, Gingrich, Chuck Norris and the Ultimate Warrior. Of course when he get's to Harvard and learns there are thousands of other kids who are 100 times smarter than he is and his professors tell him that Reagan didn't create the world, invent the wheel and take down Communism all by himself at the same time he will undoubtedly run to Fox News and scream "liberal bias" to O'Reilly and Hannity at the top of his lungs.

But give credit where credit is due. Little Johnny may not have any social skills since he's never been around other kids his own age or had a friend in his life but he's clearly discovered Mary Jane. Look at those eyes.

That little fucker is high as a kite. But then in his defense 14 is the age when certain parts of our bodies start to act in mysterious ways at 4 in the morning. For most of us it's because of that girl in English who sits in front of us and wears those short skirts. For Jonathan Krohn it's because Michelle Maglalang took him to Quisnos and Savage autographed his copy of Savage Nation. If we were this this little turd we would spend our lives getting high as well.

Partial credit for this goes to our good friend Zirgar for reminding me on his blog what this kids name was. I read about him in the NY. Times but wrote him off as a little 14 year old snot who parrots what his Mommy tells him and has never had a friend except his teddy bear which he named Rusty Beck Savage. Great irony poster by the way.


et said...

My daughter in in classes with 14- and 15-year-old boys...who despite their being open-minded, intellectually curious, tolerant Canadian kids, I would not trust with the reins of civic policy just yet, thanks very I feel quite close to this issue.

It says a world of things about the Republican Party and the entire "Conservative Movement" that they are falling head over heels for a 14-year-old boy's rhetoric.

And, frankly, none of the things it says are good.

Anonymous said...

Can I be honest here ET. After typing this I actually wrestled over it whether or not it crossed a line of bad taste. I know I know why now? with everything else I have wrote. The kid is only 14. I actually feel for him. It says something for him that he cares at his age but still I feel for him and can't help but feel he;s being used.

I can live with out 14 year olds at these conventions just like I cringed at Little orphan Annie ( sorry I can't remember her real name) speaking at the democratic convention. (I can't remember which year.) Books like I see Liberals under my bed and Why Mommy is a Democrat make me cringe as well.

et said...

That's a very valid point, Count. I don't care for anyone using kids in these kinds of public manipulation stunts. The truth is that no matter how articulate a young person is at this age, they're still really speaking from the received opinion of role models - parents, teachers, etc. - rather than from their own investigation and understanding. And that makes it cynical almost by default.

One of the things I liked about Obama's campaign is that he largely kept the two girls out of the limelight except for the one or two "big" occasions when their presence was unavoidable. A very sharp contrast to the GOP and Caribou Barbie toting her youngest around under her arm everywhere like a sack of laundry.

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