Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Jeremiah's Pal Doesn't Like Spicy Meatballs!

I was so excited for a while - popped over to Jeremiah's place, and there was a new post! Maybe he would now be fretting about an objectionable ad in a local paper in, say, South Dakota, having already "done" billboards. Sadly, no - it was Jer's (perhaps only) online friend, "Objective Scrutator." He seems to have a thing for the Italians much akin to Ralph's anti-Irish tirades. I guess faith-based bigotry isn't enough for them all on its own. Let's listen in.
Previously, I noted that Christine O'Donnell engaged in feminist activities in the past, and refuses to renounce her previous actions. Now, we learn that she picked Christianity as her faith by Italian intricacies:

Delaware Republican Senate nominee Christine O'Donnell says she tried "every other kind of religion," including witchcraft and Buddhism but became a Christian because of her love of Italian food.

"I would have become a Hare Krishna, but I didn't want to become a vegetarian," O'Donnell said in an interview with Bill Maher in 1999. "And that is honestly the reason why, because I'm Italian and I love meatballs."
How you get from "meatballs" to "Italian intricacies" is baffling enough. The bit about not renouncing feminism, expected. And I guess he hasn't seen her stunning debut (and spectacularly bad) campaign ad. You know you're starting out from a pretty low point when the first line in the script is "I'm not a witch."
The reason to become a Christian is because it is the One And Only Truth, not because the Bhagavad Gita prevents you from setting a cow on fire and proceeding to devour the charred remains. Professing a love for Italy is also suspicious; after all, the blood relative of Janet Napolitano, that Communist Giorgio Napolitano, currently presides as President of their depraved nation.
You want the Upanishads, OS, not the Gita. But I don't have time to take you through remedial Hinduism 101. As the guy who does the travel ads on MSNBC says, let's move on to Italy.

Suspicious, you say? Because someone you disapprove of has the same last name as someone else you disapprove of? And happens to be Italian? Say on! This is gonna be good.
The depravity of the nation of Italy extends into the very roots of their cheesy and stringy culture, ranging from anti-Christian bigotry from strumpets such as Sabina Guzzanti to harlotry and lasciviousness from their singers such as Anna Tatangelo. Their abandonment of supporting America in the War on Terror is also to be highly condemned. Despite Wikipedia's liberal bias, I must link to this article which shows that Italy was the primary supplier of WMDs for Saddam Hussein. Need I even mention Mussolini and his atheistic doings? (His former supporters, to this day, still claim that Mussolini's concentration camps were great places to be.) Need I even mention that it was an Italian government which executed Jesus Christ?
OK, "cheesy and stringy" culture? I presume he's referring to pizza and to string bikinis, both common features of the Italian landscape. (Never mind that this is also the country that surrounds the Vatican, where you better wear long sleeves or get expelled by the guys in funny pants who follow the orders of the guys in the fancy dresses.) The "strumpets...harlotry and lasciviousness" is also to be expected, a clearly telegraphed signal that not even the lunch-lady type at his local IGA deli counter would put out for OS. The Italian government/Christ thing? Kind of a stretch, frankly, unless you want to adhere to maps that still include Prussia or, more likely, Macedonia.

But I cry absolute foul on the link (not shown here, but you can get to it from Jeremiah's place) that supposedly proves Italy fed Hussein's non-existent WMD program. It documents Italy's support for Iraq... during the IRAN-Iraq war. Even follow-on links on the notoriously-unreliable Wikipedia show that in the same conflict, the U.S. supported Iraq right alongside Italy, while Iran continued to have the benefit of military aid supplied to that country by the U.S. at the height of the Iran-Contra scandal. Facts are not optional, pal.
Clearly, Italy is not a model country, and not a model for "Christ"ine to convert to Christianity. Indeed, her love for the country which killed Jesus and several of His kinsmen is a not-so-subtle pretext for what she intends to do to Christianity [my emphasis] if she is given a chance.
And what, pray tell, would that be? Sit everyone down to a hearty plate of fettuccine marinara in church halls (since he seems to suggest her love of Italian food equates to support for all things Italian, so what better way to indoctrinate the impressionable Sunday schoolers)? Advocate for all sermons to be sign-language-interpreted topless by a buxom Italiana? Demand that Nascar add a Vespa-racing/Bible-quoting marathon to their schedule?
A President Mike Pence should haul this Wiccan idolatress out into the stockades, and encourage the public to pelt her with hard meatballs. The meatballs will only be the first bits of fire and brimstone she will face.
First, hit a dictionary and look up "stockade." Second...still on the Wicca? Better be careful, there, OS. After all, (dons Margaret Hamilton pose) I can cause accidents, too! (And, no, I'm not green. Though, unlike your nemesis Christine, I am a witch.) And...Mike PENCE? He has about as much legitimate shot at the Presidency as...well, as Christine O'Donnell.

The footnote below from OS refers to one of the "strumpets" linked to in his post, and he states:
"While I don't care about the Pope being insulted, I am offended at her insults; they are used in a context which mocks Christian teachings about Hellfire and sodomy, and should be refudiated by all good Christians."
"Refudiated." Way to go, there, brainbox.

3 comments:

Count Istvan said...

I think Giada De Laurentiis is very attractive. Now I knew that was a sin on a minor level or 2 but little did I know it would confine me to hell.

Robert Hagedorn said...

Anal sodomy? For a really big surprise, google The First Scandal Adam and Eve. Then click once or twice to get the surprise, which will be...too much work?

RalphyFan said...

Can't really be bothered, RH, since to be frank I don't really care what Italian (or any other) celebrities have to say about much anything.

But I do find it amusing that not even Jer is willing to comment on his own acolyte's post.

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