Friday, June 13, 2008

The Good Pastor Jeremiah Returns!

Greetings, liberal sinners, to a new sermon from the Reverend Jeremiah. Tonight, the good Reverend returns with what he views as the obligations of all good Christians everywhere.

As a recent survey points out, Americans are divided evenly on the issue of homosexuality, and this is a sign that the acceptance of immorality in our society is becoming or has already become first place in peoples' hearts and minds. Why? You ask...For many reasons, attributed to the same group of ideologues called Liberal Democrats, just call them plainly - 'Democrats', because the whole of the Democrat party has become a whole sort of nastiness. The problem in a nutshell, is the Democrats have a most insane set of opinions, opinions that are anti-America and anti-Christian and anti-Family, of course, anti-Christian and anti-Family comprises most of their agenda. So, how did they create this mess? They took God and shoved Him out of our schools, good Christian people who taught good, wholesome values to our children...pushed out. "We hate ya. We don't want ya!" and you can see what has happened, can't you? The hate has pervaded the minds of our children...the children then grow up thinking they have an easy road ahead, and they say, "There's nothing to worry about, I can always depend on the government", and the government does, they hand them all the money they need to murder their little babies, to fund for diseases that they've gotten from being taught they can have sex any time they want too...the government's going to have to stop this funding and tell the people, say, "Hey, if you don't want to get a disease, or don't want to have a children, then don't have sex until you're ready to be committed to your husband or wife...but they won't, they'll just keep handing them the free dough, and the diseases will continue to spread, and babies will continue to be murdered on a daily basis.... and ...generation afer generation, America becomes weaker, and with scornful eyes other countries watch as America comes to Her demise. You know, America once looked to God, and peace filled the land with a harmony of working families going about their everyday happy lives...rejoicing and praising God for everything they had. Now, people just can't seem to get enough fame, money, riches, sex and material pleasure....and they don't want God anymore. Well, I'll tell you, God doesn't like what He sees, and He may get angry at America, unless people wake up! If you think these tornadoes and wildfires and earthquakes are bad...then you haven't seen anything compared to God's Awesome Mighty hand of power come to force!

We can avoid God's anger, if we'll only seek Him and ask Him for guidance.

Many churches (Church pastors, Youth leaders, Counsellors, and Congregations) are partly to blame as well, because too many church leaders are accepting the homosexual lifestyle as "normal" or "ok", and you have half the congregation for homosexuality and half against homosexuality.....this severely weakens the message and influence of the church, and it severely weakens society too. And that's what I mean, you see, that's why America is failing, because too many church leaders won't step to the plate with the courage to challenge their members morally.......In order to make a difference, you must be ROCK solid on what God's Word says......When God's Word says it's Wrong.....It's WRONG! And homosexuality is deathly WRONG!! And there's no earthly man that can change what God's Word says. PERIOD!

So, to all you churches out there, listen up....America's future is dependent upon you, and all Christians, everywhere, as God's messengers to get the message out, and put our foot down about the damage that homosexuals and homosexuality are doing to America! If you love America, and you love God, you will challenge and warn them about these dangers!

God bless!

Edit From The Count. New Poll Question concerning this thread.

9 comments:

Mr. Brown said...

I still find it hard to believe that groups of people could be suckered into believing such nonsense.

Organized religion = another system of control over the ignorant and the stupid.

Anonymous said...

Remember Jonathan Ignorant people are easier to control.

Anonymous said...

Put simply, Jer is a condescending, egotistical prick.

Look at his response to one of Jonathan's comments:

What is it you want to know, Mr. Jonathan? Do you need help understanding something?...I'll decipher with pin point accuracy from God's Word (the only source) what you need to understand.

At the end of the day he probably is just perplexed about why the Bearded Guy In The Sky isn't rewarding him for his virtuousness - not even with a dedicated blog following of true believers! - so he wraps himself in self-serving sanctimony, waiting for the predestined manna to rain down.

If only our RALPH would go and post there. That would be splendid theatre.

And now I'm going to go bake some cookies with the fantastic, well-rounded daughter I'm so proud of...but that Jeremiah knows doesn't exist because, validating his preferred beliefs, I am actually some street-corner pedophile.

Riiiight.

Jeremiah said...

I am actually some street-corner pedophile.

Is that what I said, et?

I said, 'For all I know, you could be' Which means? Which means 'not very much.' You make no name for yourself. And...I wouldn't know you from Adam. So how much can I believe what is said over the Net?

That's up to you. Only you know if you're telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God.

Sergei Andropov said...

You know, it could be that Jeremiah's last name is really Wright and he's here to practice pretending being a white conservative so that he can infiltrate next year's "The South Will Rise Again, Eventually" annual potluck barbecue and spike all of the drinks with RU486. I'm not saying that this is the case, mind you, just that it's possible.

Anonymous said...

Come ON, Jeremiah. 'For all I know, you could be' is pretty much akin to Hillary's assertion that Barack Obama isn't a "secret Muslim"..."as far as I know." I'm not taken in by your little rhetorical flourishes.

I know I am speaking the truth. What I wonder is why you are insinuating half-truths in response, Jer. I'm sure it suits and maybe even pleases you to suggest that I might be some kind of sexual predator rather than a devoted parent (of the female persuasion) who just happens to disagree with your whole philosophy of life, much less of parenting, but who is nonetheless raising a responsible, well-adjusted young woman quite absent your preferred values but without all the nasty consequences you are delighted to trumpet far and wide.

Are YOU yourself a parent, Jer? Do you have a young man or woman that you are raising up to contribute positively to the world?

Seriously, I hope you aren't reproducing little tintypes of yourself. That would be a sorry situation indeed.

But I know that I am telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me, when I state again that you are a condescending, egotistical prick, and that any Almighty you believe in has your comeuppance ready and waiting in his all-powerful back pocket for your insufferable arrogance and self-aggrandizement.

P.S. - Say again, Ralph, if you're listening, PLEASE go visit Jeremiah's place. He's desperate for company and you'd enjoy it, I am sure.

Anonymous said...

I also thought this was interesting, in Jer's latest missive to Jonathan:

it's how we use our bodies in the here and now that means everything in the end...yes, we do leave a behind our memory, but what is actually inside us that will last forever, for ETERNITY everlasting...so we look to the future and not to the past...and it's this lasting theme that we impart to those whom we encounter in everyday life, to our children and granchildren [sic.], you see...that they ought to strive to do what it is that we strive for, which is life everlasting with Jesus Christ...in this, we show the truest form of hope that we can give to anybody on this earth, because we give them the option to spare their soul from everlasting torment in Hell.

Hmm...how we "use our bodies" here and now...and then somehow the plot is lost between that and the "everlasting torment in Hell" item at the end.

What the HECK are you trying to say, Jer? Can't you be a little more lucid?

I also loved the bit where you said that you can know you're on the right path when you encounter people who rightfully tell you you're full of it.

In other words, not everybody is going to react the same when we share the Word of God with them, some will accept it with joy and comfort thankful that they are assured they have a hope in this world, other people will resent it because they can't see the hope within the message because they are doing well or are satisfied with they're at in life, still others will resent it because they take what they want to take the parts they dislike and make a case of negativity against Christians and Christianity...and you see, this is where a sound knowledge of God's Word really shines through, because we can take the time to explain things through and help them on the road to a better life...

Yawn...

Sergei Andropov said...

"Jeremiah's place"

He has his own ministry? Are windshields by any chance involved?

Anonymous said...

I have to wonder why Jeremiah is so SCARED of people whose viewpoints are different than his own. I get the sense that he would run for miles rather than personally engage any one of us who has heretofore challenged him, and would leap into the ocean before discussing issues of faith with, say, an atheist or an agnostic or a pagan.

Please explain the source of this fear of the "other," Jer. If you have a corner on truth, as you claim, then there is no reason you should retreat from engagement with those you perceive as the "enemy."

Bring. it. on.

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