Wednesday, June 4, 2008

The View From My Ass



May The Force Take These Fuckers Away

So tonight I made the cardinal mistake of hanging out at DU although somehow I managed to not post anything myself. Jeez if I would have shown that kind of restraint on Newshounds I would still be posting today (maybe) Anyway the amount of out and out visceral leveled at Hillary Clinton after her speech was simply appalling. Those good people called Mrs. Clinton names you would only see from me if this little paragraph was about oh say...Chrish. I can't imagine what the folks at DU would have been posting if Hillary would have actually, you know, said something wrong. I mean telling her supporters how much they have meant to her...How dare she? Anywho it was quite honestly the second biggest outpouring of stupidity since the Star Wars nerds came out of Phantom Menace and proclaimed that George Lucas had stole their childhood. Then it dawned on me... The Star Wars nerds, the No matter what Hillary does she's and evil cunt crowd, THEY ARE THE EXACT SAME PEOPLE. Honestly I am not knocking Obama supporters. I count myself as one of them, but show some fucking class. Hillary is not my choice to be president, I am thrilled shitless tonight that Obama has seemingly won the nomination but show some fucking class and acknowledge what The Clinton's have meant to the Democratic Party and America. And by the same token You Clinton folk on DU and elsewhere who are vowing to vote for McCain...

Thou Shall Not Steal

So today The Count had to go to his Dentist and to the Bank and To AAA and to a bunch of other places the Contessa didn't bother to tell him he was going until after they had left but that's another rant for another time. My dentist seems to be a good dude BUT he's a Dobsinite. His waiting room is filled with Christian magazines and some newspapers put out by the local Nebraska chapter of Nutters Are Us. he used to get Huskers Illustrated and Sports Illustrated but I guess those fine publications are too secular now because The Only things he had to read today were The Omaha World Herald, The Focus On The Family Magazine, The Nutters Newspaper, and the Bible. So after reading the sports section of the OWH I went with the Bible. I opened the Bible to Revelation which to my surprise it was only 2 pages long. Now I am no Bible Scholar but I was sure that the Book of Revelation with all the cool shit about wicked horseman and walking dead that the clergy used to scare the piss out of us when we were kids was longer than 2 pages. Well after some investigating I figured out what had happened to one of the best closing chapters to any book ever written. It seems some heathen took the Bible that was in the lobby of my dentist's office...and ripped out and stole the Book Of Revelation. Now I used to dabble in the comedy game and this is example A of why I have always said I hate jokes. They just aren't necessary. You only need to keep your eyes open and focused on the world around you to have all the comedy material you will ever need. Somebody actually bothered to steal The Book Of Revelation out of a waiting room Bible. If that right there doesn't lend itself to a joke or 6 Nothing does.

Anyway with Revelation gone I read The Book of Hosea or some such. It seems he had 6 Fathers. Now I have always said that Lot and his daughters were the first people ever on what ever biblical Jerry Springer show they had on the time, But I bet this Hosea dude and His Momma were second.

Oh and as for the book of Jeremiah? It's about as good as his blog. And I'll leave it at that.

Sebastian Faulks Writing As John Gardner.

And Finally, I am cutting this short because I am in the middle of a good book I want to get back too, I read the latest James Bond novel Devil May Care. I got an autographed copy on Wednesday when it came out. OK My Wife bought it for me as part of an anniversary gift and she singed it :) Anyway I have already said that the early moaning from The humorless Fleming Purist, and Sweet Lord are those folks Humorless, did not surprise me. even the negative review for Christopher 30% Hitchens, didn't put me off. (Chris is right about 30% of the time) But when the folks at Commanderbond.net started to talk about how the book was solid but slow I got a little worried. Now not being one for group think at all I read the book. It's a very fast read. One could easily knock this off in a day if they wanted too or had the time. I knocked it off in 2. Anyway it's a good book. It held my interest and I enjoyed it. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. Not disappointed in the fact it wasn't as good as Fleming, I didn't expect it would be, but disappointed that honestly it read as if it was one of John Gardner's better efforts. Gardner was a solid writer who wrote several good books outside of his Bond work. But His Bonds, especially towards the end of his run, felt like they were the work of a man who was not interested in Bond but the paycheck instead. The same exact thing could be said about Devil May Care. For a book that promised a healthy amount of Sex and Violence there was very little of the first and far more of the later in Young Bond novels. I think Solid but slow pretty much covers my view of the book exactly.

That being said. I am grateful for it and honestly I enjoyed it. I hope there are more continuation novels in the future. James Bond was a literary character before his more famous movie counterpart. And there is something about a book, the way it makes you use your imagination, the way there is a more complex story, that Movies no matter how good can not replace. DMC did not crack my best James Bond continuation list, Gardner's Nobody Lives For Ever, Pearson's The Authorized Biography of 007, Benson's Never Dream of Dying and Higson's Double or Die ( if that counts) still top that list. I am currently re-reading Kingsley Amis' Colonel Son which in addition to having been written by arguably the best author of any James Bond Novel, Fleming included, is considered my most to be the best continuation novel. I don't agree but maybe re-reading it I will change my mind.

This is a great time to be a fan of the literary Bond. Charlie Higson is writing the extremely good Young Bond series, Samantha Weinberg (under the name of Kate Westbrook) is writing the Moneypenny diaries. A series of 3 books focused on the Character Ms. Moneypenny which have been very widely praised. (Bond for Women?) Unfortunately only 3 of the 4 Young Bond books have been released in the states and are hard to find. And only 1 of the 3 Moneypenny books have been released here so far. They are worth it for Bond fans to track them down or pay to get them form the UK.

OK that's enough blah blah blah.

I'll just leave with 2 questions.

Why does Puerto Rico have a fucking primary?
Are all weathermen idiots or is it just Omaha's?

Go Celtics! BEAT LA!

KTF

Stephen

1 comment:

et said...

Stealing most of Revelations - jeez, that's funny! When you return for your next appointment, you should slip a printout of Ralph's ravings in its place. A windshield ministry is one thing, but a dentistry ministry would take it to the next level.

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