Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The View From My Ass



Oh The Weather Outside Is Frightful...

So the Count's not working tomorrow which is something he figured on since he saw the forecast which called for a 90% of bullshit. Now the Count has said this before give him a 10 degree day and a 90 degree day and the Count will take the 10 degree day every day of the week. If it's cold you can put on 3 sweaters a hoodie and a coat to get warm but if it's hot you're puking your guts out no matter what. That's why as the Count has said many times when ever a nerd with a teleprompter tells him it's going to be a gorgeous 93 degree day The Count just wants to knock the glasses of their head and the taste out of their mouth. HOWEVER when you start throwing in ice and snow and shit then that's a different deal entire. Still once your home and out of the shit you can just get in to some nice warm cloths light a pipe or a cigar in my case and just bask in the warmth of the 96 degree heat the Contessa insists on keeping the place...Anyway as the Count was saying no work tomorrow which is one of those deals that kicks ass until you think about having to give up a normal day off and that would be Saturday or Monday. Saturday the Count and Contessa are going to the Qwest Center to watch the Nebraska basketball game so it looks like a Monday for the Count.

Speaking of our Wonderful weather folk here in Omaha I must say that since I know that her family, well her sister, reads and loves my live Journal* that Ms Andrea Bredoh! is almost starting to look somewhat oddly hot now that she has some brunette streaks in her hair.


Pre brunette streaks goofy looking Bredoh!

Now if we could get her to stop dressing like a 95 year old and telling me how cold it is when it's 82 maybe I'll cut her some slack. Naw.

*Andrea is my sister. please remember that the people on the news are real people to with families and friends that love them. why would you want to say something hurtful?


I'll say Now what I said then. She seems like a very nice woman but as a meteorologist she sucks my left nut. she's is however still better than Bill Cornell. My God if that dude wasn't fucking the main news anchor steady he would be a fucking copy boy.

Sunday Monday Happy Days...

The Count shouldn't admit this but there are some things that he has never quite been quite able to master in the bedroom. Like that sleeping thing. Since The Count was a teen he's been a poor sleeper. So about 3:30 when other are getting there sleep on The Count is searching the tube for anything half way decent to watch. And other than the usual commercials for ab machines, shitty knives, and what ever the fuck Kevin Trudeau is an expert on this week that "they" don't want me to know about the only thing half way decent ( and The Count is being polite) is Happy Days on WGN. At least twice an episode ( they show 2 a night) there is a commercial where this woman says my man don't need prescriptions he takes dick baum or what ever the fuck it's called. it makes him harder, faster, longer, blah blah. Now The Count is no intellectual but he knows a few things...

One is if you watch TV you must be convinced that every man's dick must either not work or can't stop working. Cause when he wants to fuck the wife he needs a pill that holds up if the kids come by and if he's out fishing with the boys he needs a pill to keep him from pissing every half hour. Some are so thrilled that there are medicines out there that help to get that thing to work that they apparently get together with their boys and rewrite the lyrics to Elvis movie tunes to sing it's praises. VIVA VIAGRA! Honestly I would have thought Wild In the Country would have worked better but anyway...

The Second thing the Count is sure of is If a man is up at 3:30 and he can't lead The general in to properly into battle the last fucking thing he's watching is Happy Fuck Days. First of all the main character is a 5 ft 6 inch mechanic who lives in somebodies attic, hangs out with nerdy teenagers and he can still get any woman in Milwaukee by just snapping his fingers. You know the guy with dick trouble would just be sitting there thinking that if he could just get his dick to work he would have kicked that little shits ass and stole his women.

Second of all even if your dick is working Happy Fuck Days would make sure it stops. I mean who on the show would get you excited? Marion? Joanie? Lori Beth? Al? Ralph Malph? Hell even Fonzie's women weren't all that hot.

Now if it were up to the Count he would get all of the dick pill advertisements off of the TV. But he wouldn't stop there. He would get every drug advertisement off of TV. And one last thing. If the pill is going to give me cancer, a stroke and a heart attack...The Count will take the restless finger syndrome or what ever the fuck it is he is taking the pills for.

The Count Shouldn't Joke About Marion Cunningham

I joke about men with ED watching Happy Days, By the way I am pretty sure that the E.D. in E.D. Hill's name stands for the very same thing, but yesterday a troll actually admitted that he found the newshounds site because he was Googling Brit Hume.



Now there's a dick The Count wished would quit working.

What This World Needs Is More Guns.

No The Count is not going to go off on Gun control so don't panic. but he does want to repost the brilliant post by Merle on Huskerpedia about the Westroads shootings...

It is not all that incomprehensible! Today's liberal, tolerant of anything attitude, allows for such horror! Today's killer was from a disfunctional, if not non-existent family. The absence of a home, discipline, bringing up, father and mother figures in a family, has spawned this nightmare. It will probably only get worse, as long as the libs and ACLU continue to lobby for complete freedom for fiends like this! I don't pretend to have the answer, but I know the libs and the ACLU don't have it! They just promote it!

Funny enough neither Merle on Huskerpedia or the trolls on Newshounds seem to want to comment on the Colorado shootings.

http://www.denverpost.com/ci_7686693

Authorities believe that Matthew J. Murray, 24, was motivated by revenge after he was spurned by the missionary organization that also has offices on the New Life Church campus.

Murray has been identified as the gunman who carried out attacks at the Youth with a Mission dormitory in Arvada and New Life Church in Colorado Springs.

Killed in Arvada were Tiffany Johnson, 26, and Phillip Crouse, 24. Sisters Stephanie Works, 18, and Rachel Works, 16, were slain in Colorado Springs...

Murray was homeschooled and briefly attended Arapahoe Community College. Officials with Colorado Christian University said last year he had enrolled in the school but quickly dropped out.

Cody Askeland, 21, who lives near the family's home said he knew Matthew Murray's younger brother, Chris, from the neighborhood and had heard loose talk that Matthew Murray had behavioral problems.

Askeland said on Monday that he did not make the connection between the shootings and Murray even after he saw police and reporters on the block Sunday evening.

"It's just weird to see all this and have it be someone on your block," he said.

On Monday details about Murray's final moments emerged from authorities in press conferences and court documents.

Police say the 11 a.m. service was letting out about 1 p.m. in the north Colorado Springs church when Murray began walking through the parking lot with five guns and 1,000 rounds of ammunition in his backpack. He had more weaponry in his car.


From MSNBC...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22174890

The gunman was identified as Matthew Murray, 24, who was home-schooled in what a friend said was a deeply religious Christian household. Murray’s father is a neurologist and a leading multiple-sclerosis researcher.

Matthew Murray lived there along with a brother, Christopher, 21, a student at Oral Roberts University in Tulsa, Okla.

SHIT! The Kids was homeschooled not brought up in one of those liberal public schools where...

Schools are too busy teaching kids how to put condoms on their weiners and trying to stir up "white European guilt".

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