Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Devil Is In The Candy

Pat Robertson says the Candy is the Devil

Put aside your fears of swine flu. TV preacher Pat Robertson’s Web site has just issued a bulletin warning Americans of the real threat we face this season: Demons may be lurking in our Halloween candy.

In a column on the Christian Broadcasting Network’s Web site, writer Kimberly Daniels asserts that “demons” sneak into bags of Halloween candy at grocery stores.

“[M]ost of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches,” Daniels wrote. “I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.”

The Rev. Barry W. Lynn, executive director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State, urged Robertson and Daniels to lighten up.


5 comments:

Count Istvan said...

ET I know you covered this on off topic but it bears repeating.

et said...

Totally fine by me, Count. It's quite the collection of paranoid nonsense, eh? I've been making cracks all night about the malice I need to impart to Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and fun-size Milky Ways before Saturday night. So much sugar to curse; so little time...

Ralph said...

CHICK PUBLICATIONS HAS PROVIDED A PLAN TO WITNESS TO LOST TRICK-OR-TREATERS THIS YEAR!!!!!!

OCTOBER 31 IS A FAVORITE DAY FOR WICCANS (PIAPS’ DENOMINATION) AND GURU MAGGOTS WHO REFER TO THEIR DARK FESTIVAL AS "SAMHAIN" (BWAHHHHHHH!!!!!!)

IN ADDITION TO THESE POWERFUL AMERICAPHILE-ENDORSED TRACTS, WE ALSO RECOMMEND WITNESS CARDS WITH THE FOLLOWING URL!!!!!!:

http://tinyurl.com/TheMorningAfter

SET THE CAPTIVES FREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Count Istvan said...

So Ralph what will you be going trick or treating as?

et said...

Oh, yeah, I'm totally going to hand out Witness Cards with Ralphie's URL on them. And on the reverse I'll print out suggested responses to his nonsense. Imagine the posts to come, Ralphie! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

In the meantime, send me your address and I'll FedEx you a package of enchanted Snickers Fun Size bars. I guarantee you, you'll see visions beyond even your wildest dreams.

And it was Samhain before it was ever "Hallowe'en," aka "All Hallows Eve."

Also, Ralph will be trick-or-treating as Michele Bachmann. Instead of saying "Trick or treat!" he'll be saying "Are you anti-American?" Can't wait for the response.

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