Jets GM: "Gentlemen, our football organization is in crisis: we are coming off a disappointing 8-8 regular season with no postseason appearance. Players are trash-talking each other, and some within the locker room opened up to the media, in confidence, that Mark Sanchez isn't a good clubhouse leader. Oh, and last year's final regular season game vs. Miami was a fiasco. We need to bring in a player; someone who will be a good lock room kind of guy; the type of person who'll be able to contribute to the franchise. More importantly, someone who doesn't bring baggage, or bring anymore attention to our three-ringed circus that is the Jets' locker room. Anyone have any ideas?The only things missing here are the lizard-man, and the bearded lady from the traveling freak show (the circus already has it's fat man).
Guy who raises hand emphatically: I know! Why don't we hire that mediocre, Jesus-freak QB that lost his job to Peyton Manning yesterday! He's good in the locker room, he'd be an excellent back-up replacement for Sanchez if he goes down, and he's virtually non-controversial!
Jets GM: Brilliant! He's a big-name star, he won't make out franchise look any more ridiculous than it already looks, and he doesn't bring crazy, foaming-at-the-mouth fans!
Edit from The Count
Come on Timmy Slide 'em right in there