A Poem For Our Friend Jeremiah

Well, Jeremiah's at it again, this time lauding a poem about how dysfunctional the public schools are because they don't fall in line with his personal principles and push his religious agenda. I thought that rather than refute him at his place - which would take several posts because, you know me, I can't use one word when a dozen will do! - I'd offer him a very special ode here. Enjoy, Jer! Don't expend all the resulting angst in one place.

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Over at Jeremiah’s place
It’s easy to predict the pace.
Each day the same myopic screed:
To thump his book he feels the need.
It’s not enough for good ol’ Jer
To grant the kids their silent prayer.
No, he insists they ought to yell
How all the rest are bound for hell.

What if the student next to you
Is Muslim, Pagan, or a Jew?
The very fact that they exist
Leaves Jeremiah feeling pissed.
Their faith, it makes his feelings hurt,
Provides a mandate to convert.
And if they should not heed his moaning,
The fallback option might be stoning.


Diversity? Jer runs in fear
That there might be non-Christians here:
His neighbors, colleagues…can it be
Not everyone believes as he?
It must not stand! HE knows the way!
No-one else is allowed to say –
Or, horror worse, to disagree
With what Jeremiah says must be.

So, study world cultures? Why?
They’re heathen. They deserve to die.
And call our President a Commie!
(As he’s Obama, and not Ronnie.)
Dear Sarah Palin is our Queen:
The runner-up, Carrie Prejean…
Just overlook their jackanapes
With unwed teens and home sex tapes.
Rabid right-wingers get a pass,
And every liberal flunks the class.

Suggest that government and laws
Are secular, and not all God’s,
He’ll be on you ere you can blink.
Kids must OBEY – they’re not to THINK.


He’d take us back to halcyon days,
Apparently with no teen moms, or gays;
In fact, he seems to truly believe
In a world made up of Ward and the Beave.

Hey, Jer – wake from your pious snooze!
For your 411 we have some news.
First, church is church, and school is school.
My child’s desk is not your pew.
You’re bugged your religion’s not for me?
Too bad. It’s a democracy.
We’re all entitled to our faith
(Even those that make you feel unsafe).
Indoctrinate your kids at home:
But, during the week, leave mine alone.

I could care less if you and yours
Hang out and pray in the corridors,
Ring round the flagpole at recess
Your beliefs freely to express.

But you’re not satisfied with that.
You want to govern by fiat,
To have the schools speak with your voice,
To offer no thought, no reasoned choice.
Instead of science, lit and math,
With sermons you would line the path,
Stifling youthful inquiry
With visions of the world you see.

How glad I am my daughter’s part
Of a school that values being smart,
And worries less about if you pray
Than about what you know, and feel, and say.

But, I have no illusions, Jer.
I doubt you’ll change by even a hair.
You’ll go on thinking it’s your place
To push your faith on the human race,
Demanding that we all fall in line
With your own personal view of the Divine.

And in conclusion, I’ll just say this –
Thank God (ALL gods!) that you’ve no kids.
They’d end up more messed up by far
Than any public school students are.

Now take your Bible and your God,
And off, as they say, be pleased to “sod.”