Jonathan Goes To the Movies: V-Day Edition

Since today is Valentine's Day and I haven't done a movie review in a month, here's a special V-Day edition of Jonathan Goes To the Movies.

Something Borrowed came out last year, but I decided not to watch it because it looked like a generic rom-com. That, and I already watched Bridesmaids at the time, a funnier and much more savy comedy about the bonds of female friendships. You know you're in chick-flick hell when 10 minutes in, you're already hating both the main characters in this mess: Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin from HBO's polygamy family drama Big Love) is in love with the dreamy Dex (Colin Egglesfield, standing there as eye candy for the female audience), her friend from law school, but he's currently engaged to her vapid and obnoxious BFF, Darcy (Kate Hudson, what happened to you?). Rachel and Dex have one drink too many one night after her b-day bash and wham!, they end up back at her place, and without clothing. I'm not even going to explain what happens from here, because you can probably guess what's going to happen from here and reliving the terrible jokes (complete with the predictable besties grinding on the fiancee on the dance floor, tasteless gay jokes, and creepy masturbation humor!) makes my head hurt. Hudson, who bust out onto the scene with her heartbreaking performance as Penny Lane in Almost Famous, hasn't made anything that good since her Oscar-nominated turn as the Band-Aid for Stillwater, and it's a shame to watch Hudson star in these types of roles. Even worse, the script has all these characters - with the exception of one - doing all these shallow, despicable things because the plot tells them to. The exception to this rule is John Krasinski, the film's comic relief, Rachel's trusted male confidant, and the only redeemable feature about this piece of shit.

1/2 stars out ****