Republican National Convention - Day 2

Welcome back to Day 2 of coverage of the Bullshit Parade Republican National Convention in Tampa! Now, yesterday was pretty thin, due to my evening class, so I hope today's coverage is more action packed and infuriating than the last 10 minutes of Chris Christie's keynote address! Speaking of, I promised that I would get to my thoughts of the highlights from last night's dog-and-pony show, and, as promised, here's what I have to say about last night's speeches.....

* First off, there were many speeches given, besides Ann Romney's and Chris Christine. There was Texas Senate candidate Ted Cruz, South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley, Speaker of the House John Bohener, and there's no way i'll be able to comment on all of them tonight, or tomorrow, so you might see them over the weekend, under the gone, but not forgotten files from the Tampa convention.

* Speaking of Mrs. Romney, her speech was terrific. No, really. It was great. One of Mitt's biggest hurdles was trying to come off as likable and relatable to the common man and from his awkward, straight-laced and bland persona, to his refusal to release his tax returns, he's failed to put a human face to his brand and his campaign. Ann not only made Mitt more a genuine and likeable person, but she did well by transferring the early years of the marriage, when the struggled and had a kid on the way, and made that into a story that millions of older voters could connect with. Well done, Ann Romney, I really was impressed, and that's coming from a very liberal person!

*  So, if you're trying to sell Romney's humanity and that he is, for lack of a better term, "one of us", then how do you sell him as a candidate that can get things done in Washington and as a true conservative when he's flip-flopped on just about every issue he stood for when he was Governor of Massachusetts? If your Chris Christie, you barely mention him at all and bolster your own brand name! I don't think i've seen a more self-serving and selfish display of personal gratification. It was the equivalent of the Governor from New Jersey whipping his cock out, jerking off in front of everyone, bragging about how much longer it is than the limp dick they got saddled with, and boasting about how much staying power he has. I know political positioning isn't a new concept during convention time, but never has it been this blatant and unapologetic about it. This speech (filled with one-liners, throwing red-meat and one insulting take about being fearful that the next generation of kids won't know what an American century looks like) was about Christie positioning himself for 2016, than it was about propping up Mitt Romney.

Now, onto tonight's round of rah-rah-rah-ing the home team!

Edit by Jonathan (5:15 pm): John McCain's speech made me thankful that he's nowhere near the Oval Office.

Edit by Jonathan (5:27 pm): McCain said he trusts Romney to lead. This is coming from the same man who trusted that Sarah Palin could be ready to take over if he died or was unable to perform the task appointed to him.

Edit by Jonathan (6:01 pm): A note on convention hats: why?? They always look really ridiculous. Am I watching a convention of a major political party, or is this a Lady Gaga concert?

Edit by Jonathan (6:39 pm): Mike Huckabee about to speak. Brace yourselves, folks...

Edit by Jonathan (6:42 pm): This was the explanation as to why Tim Pawlenty was trending. Best thing I've seen tonight.

Edit by Jonathan (7:03 pm): Mike Huckabee was duller than dogshit on the stage. Condi's takes the podium, and 20 seconds in, she brings up 9/11. What balls of her to bring up an event that her former boss sat on his ass, doing fuck all to respond to a report that said that Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S.!

Edit by Jonathan (7:34 pm): Here's Paul Ryan!

Edit by Jonathan (7:45 pm): Ryan: how dare Obama try and make healthcare more affordable for the middle class and college students!!!

Edit by Jonathan (8:00 pm): I hope Joe Biden bitch slaps this little twerp at the VP Debate in October. Paul Ryan is a creep of the first order.

Edit by Jonathan (8;42 pm): Final analysis on the speech: give Ryan this much credit, he knows his base and he plays to them damn well. Oh and what do you know: Paul Ryan's claim that an auto plant closed in his home state under Obama was total bullshit. There are other aspects I want to touch on from Day 2 tonight, but i'll leave that for tomorrow afternoon. Goodnight, folks!