That's Not Priapism It's Just Froze That Way
Last Sunday like much of America I sat down and watched the conference championship games of the NFL. In Foxboro, Mass it was "really cold" with temperatures about 20 degrees with a stiff wind making it feel about 5 degrees. In Green Bay, WI it was Holy Fuck Jesus cold with temperatures about -3 degrees and a windchill of about oh say -800. Seriously after it hits -10 does it even fucking matter anymore? Anyway in Omaha the temp it's been somewhere in between the two. So no matter how fucking cold it's been we could say "Hey It's not Green Bay" Well that changed last night. -5 fucking degrees with windchills colder than -20. Now the Count doesn't want to scare off his reader but he's never been one to sleep with an over abundance of clothes. In as much as he sleeps at all. Now he don't sleep in the buff but pretty damn close. Last night when he finally decided to try and get his 4 hours he went to bed wearing protection...not one put two pairs of socks. I have written many times about are over-reacting weather gal Andrea Bredoh!
But even I have to admit this winter all the bitching is legit. Speaking of Windchill I think Lewis Black Says it best...They've gotta stop reporting wind chill, that's nonsense. It really is. I don't know where they came up with it, why they came up with it, but it's a lie. They come on, 'well, it's 27 degrees today, but with the wind chill, it's minus 3.' ...well, then it's minus 3 asshole! I don't need to know what the weather was like if the conditions were perfect!
The Best Election Team In the Buisness...Just Ask them
Ok if you are reading this an you have an IQ if say more than 6 you already know Fox sucks my left nut, And on MSGOP, Matthews, Carlson and Scarborough are such a shitty triumvirate that the guy who killed his his intern is the best of the three. But The Count doesn't think that CNN gets the credit they are due. CNN is truly every bit as fucking worthless as the rest. Every night on good ol' CNN you get a conversation that sounds a little bit like this...
"Tonight on Log Cabin 360 we're keeping them honest." Warren Jeffs and Ray Nagin are they keeping the fighting between Obama and Hillary Clinton alive? We've got the raw data! Women! Will they vote for a Woman because they are woman? What about Black Women? 360 has the story. But first we break down the latest raw data with the best political team in the business!
Morality King: Well Log Cabin I used to be a Democrat then I got morals, wrote a book about it, Lost millions in Vegas, and tomorrow I have to host my radio show! Please listen to it! pretty please!
Token Black Female Conservative: I'm black, i'm pretty... kinda and I'm conservative. Hee Hee
Former college QB turned congressman CJ Wattage: Hey Barry I got another Woman claiming I got her pregnant can you buy her ass off... hey Login Cabin just getting off the phone with one of my contacts looks like Rudy is in like flynn.
Finally... Crawling Candy: I said EXTRA CRISPY DAMMIT!
Last night while doing their usual segment on Will Black vote Black, Woman vote Woman, and the fighting between Obama and Clinton they actually ran a story where they quoted comments left from a "womans group" left on Oprah's blog calling her a traitor and just assumed the comments were legitimate. As I told the Contessa It's amazing they just ran those comments and never bothered to point out that this being the internet the comments could have been left by women with names like Bob, Jim and Jake. Hell MAYBE they came from republicans looking to cause trouble! Do you think it's possible? In CNN world I guess everybody on the internet is who they claims to be I guess.
Who would have thought that after he quit trying to get sex from Warren Jeffs and Ray Nagin defeated Anderson Cooper's show would be so bad? And you just know in the fantasy land that is the conservative brain they consider this clown a liberal. The Contessa asked me why the Republicans aren't fighting like Obama and Clinton? I said they are CNN or any other network just aren't covering it.
One last thing about this. it's not my business to tell you who to back but keep one thing in mind. For all of her flaws just think about all of the heads that will explode if Hillary gets elected. Not just from the dipshits and trolls but from the pundits and reporters on all the cable networks. Clinton is still my 3rd choice. But for that reason alone her election won't hurt my feelings one bit.
The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Mudville Nine that day;
I don't know how many of you are familiar with the poem Casey At The Bat but it goes like this. Mudville was down 4-2 and it was the last inning. They already had two outs and the next two people up before Casey sucked ass. Will call them...Ranger and G-Dawg. Well Ranger and G-Dawg get on base. (remember this is fiction) Casey gets up and the first pitch comes in and Casey says "fuck that shit" and it goes right by him. Pitch two comes and Casey says laughs at it and it goes by him for strike 2. Finally the third pitch comes Casey takes a big swing and...whiffs. Mudvile losses because of Casey's arrogance. Rudy Giuliani is Casey. Iowa and New Hampshire were the first two pitches. Rudy just laughed and let them go right by. Now we're on to Florida and possible strike three. There's no doubt in Rudy's mind he will hit it out of the park, maybe he will, but polls now show him 3rd and if Rudy loses Florida there will be no joy in Mudville for Mighty Rudy will have struck out. And just like Casey it will be do to his own arrogance.
Who Let The Hunting Mormons Out?
Now let me just say this I DO NOT hold it against Willard Romney that when he was trying to act Black he mentioned a phrase from a song 10 years old. I DO NOT hold it against him because if It were me in that situation I would be just as out of touch as Willard. I don't know what White kids are listening to for that matter either. I figured my generations music sucked ass and this generations is worse so I don't even fake that I don't know what the fuck these kids are listening too. What I hold against Willard is that he tried to act like he knew what the fuck he was doing and honestly thought those kids and us are that fucking stupid. We aren't and they aren't.
These kids know Bullshit and they know when they are being lied too. Look at this Youngsters expression. Does it look like they are buying what the President has to sell? Same with Willard the phony. Willard, your name is Willard not Mitt, is there anything genuine about you?
I'll Never Smile Again
Speaking of my knowledge of hip-hop. I wanted to buy the Frank Sinatra, Tommy Dorsey box set THE SONG IS YOU and I noticed on Amazon it was out of print and pricey. I got it off Ebay pretty cheap. What I didn't notice until after I bid was that the seller was selling it for Catholic Charities in Kansas City (Overland, Kansas). Now I have ripped the Catholic Church Pretty good here but I honestly didn't know this organization so it didn't bother me. I got the box set, it was great and I gave them a positive rating they gave me one...everyone was happy. But it got me to thinking If it had been an organization that I disagreed with would i have gone through with the sale even though it was something I wanted and they were selling it cheap? I don't know. Probably not.
Thanks Rush.
Mouse Limburgh has a new woman and she is 31 years old. I was discussing this with The Contessa and said that I didn't have a problem with it ( I really don't) after all The Contessa is 25. That's when she looked at me funny and told me that I was wrong. The good news is I short changed her a cupple of years It would have been worse if I would have gotten it wrong and made her out to be older than she was. Either way it didn't look good to know your wifes age but it was an honest mistake. Oh one other difference in Rush's situation and mine. He is in his late 50's and I am in my early to mid 30's. Just sayin.
James Bond Said: I've Always Thought That If I Married I'd Marry an Air Hostess.'
That sentence starts the James Bond short story "Quantum Of Solace" which is was written by Ian Fleming in 1959 for Cosmopolitan Magazine and is contained in the Book For Your Eyes only. The term a Quantum of Solace is mentioned in the story as the amount of love and understanding a cupple has for each other. Once The Quantum Of Solace hit's 0 the relationship can no longer be repaired as the cupple only wants to see pain come to each other. I have always thought that the 20 some page story contained Fleming's best work and So I was thrilled when today it was announced that The next Bond film will in fact be named Quantum Of Solace.
The Movie will probably contain nothing from the story but the title. The Movie is a direct sequel to Casino Royale and picks up where CR left off. I have already seen a lot of people complain about the title all I can say to them is fuck you. A lot of hard core "fan boys" are thrilled with the title. All I can say to them is "fuck yeah"
Wiki's recap of the short story...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/For_Your_Eyes_Only
"Quantum of Solace"
"Quantum of Solace" is not a spy story and Bond appears only in the background. Told in the style of W Somerset Maugham, the tale has Bond attending a boring dinner party at the Government House in Nassau with a group of socialites he can't stand.
Bond makes an offensive remark after dinner when the other guests have left in order to stimulate conversation. This solicits a careful reply from the elderly Governor of The Bahamas who tells 007 a sad tale about a relationship between former civil servant Philip Masters stationed in Bermuda and air hostess Rhoda Llewellyn. After meeting aboard a flight to London the two eventually married but after a time Rhoda became unhappy with her life as a housewife. She then began a long open affair with the eldest son of a rich Bermudan family. As a result Masters' work deteriorated and he suffered a nervous breakdown. After recovering he was given a break from Bermuda by the governor and sent on an assignment to Washington to negotiate fishing rights with the US. At the same time the governor's wife had a talk with Rhoda just as her affair ended. Masters returned a few months later and decided to end his marriage, although he and Rhoda continued to appear as a happy couple in public. Masters returned alone to the UK, leaving a penniless Rhoda stranded in Bermuda, an act which he'd been incapable of carrying out merely months earlier. But Masters never recovered emotionally, his vital spark never relit. The governor goes on to tell Bond how after a time Rhoda married a rich Canadian and seems to be happy, telling Bond that his dull dinner companions whom he found so boring were Rhoda and her new husband.
While the story does not include action elements, as other Fleming tales do, it attempts to posit that Bond's adventures pale in comparison with real life drama. Bond reflects that the lives of the people he passes somewhat superficial judgments upon can in fact hide poignant episodes."
I am so fucking hyped for this movie ( goes into Star Wars Fan boy mode, except for James Bond) I can't wait until November. Wait it will be cold again...fuck that shit...seriously.
KTF
Count Istvan
No comments:
Post a Comment