He Is The Least Interesting Man In The World.

OK I just can't let this one go because it gets funnier every-time I read it.

From Bob Peters' Opus left here in this blog

My posts discussing my admiration for Dr. Martin Luther King? Well that doesn’t make sense.
I know, my work with Habitat for Humanity, right? Wait, the last three houses I assisted on were for African-American families, so THAT doesn’t sound like the actions of a white supremacist, does it. Or the two spring breaks in Mexico building homes for the poor. But hey, that was in High School, so I’ve had plenty of time to turn to the dark side, I guess. Or is it my membership in the NAACP? Yep, I have a membership in the NAACP.

Wow! Who knew that all this time Bob Peters was this guy



Stay Thirsty my friends.

In all honesty Bob is starting to remind me of Batvette the Newshounds troll who killed communism and the Ayatollah by himself. Not only did he... um...embellish his life story he too really was a social "liberal" Hmm I wonder if Bob goes for Blonde domination fetish videos and has a collection of latex masks.

Remembering James Bond. The James Bond Omnibus Volume 001

*It's 4 in the morning as I finish this so I am sure there are typos and missspelled words oh plenty. Oh well.

I have already reviewed the outstanding volume 002 here if you wish to read it as a refresher.

It's hard to imagine now since it was the big screen which made James Bond a world wide phenomenon but the silver screen was the last medium for Bond to conquer. He first appeared in the world as the main character of an escapist, adventure, spy novel Casino Royale written by the journalist Ian Fleming the 1953. The next year he would appear on American Television again Casino Royale and in 1956 he would make his radio debut in an South African broadcast of Moonraker. In 1958 James Bond would make his first appearance in Comic Strip form. Running in the Daily Express and ran, minus a 2 year stretch from 1962 until 1964, until 1983 in the Daily Express, Sunday Express, Daily Starr and various other European newspapers. Volume 001 of the James Bond Omnibus contains the first strips from 1958's Casino Royale until the ill fated Thunderball in 1962.

If Volume oo2 is the stronger volume then volume 1 is no less essential for Bond geeks. The strips are not as strong as those in volume nor are they nearly as well structured still there is no denying that these strips had the best source material from which to choose from. Most of the best of Ian Fleming was adapted in these early strips. Most of the strips were written by Henry Gammidge. The only two that weren't were Casino Royale (Anthony Hern) and Dr. No. (Peter O'Donnell of Modesty Blaise fame) They were all drawn by John McLusky. Most fan boys find McLusky's artwork to be inferior to that of Yaroslav Horak who would replace McLusky in 1966. I not being a comic strip art critic can't see a whole lot of difference in the two to tell you the honest truth. Volume oo1 contains 11 comic strips.

Casino Royale 138 strips: *** 1/2/*****
The first thing a person reading this 53 year old strip might comment on today is how much like the 2006 movie it is. Yes there are technical differences but the story is the same. At times this strip almost appears as if it could be a story board. The art work of McLusky is here does seem to lack some direction but it gets stronger as the story progresses. The biggest negative to the icstrip is the odd decision to have Bond himself be the narrator which succeeds in killing much of the tension of the story while also giving Bond knowledge of events in the story at a point when he should have no knowledge them. The Strip also tones down the violence of the book and also the emotion of the ending.

Live And Let: Die 86 strips. ***/*****
Whether they decided that much of Flemings novel would be just too offensive or that it just didn't translated well into comic strip form, I tend to go with the later, Live and Let Die is a truncated comic strip version of Fleming's source novel only running 86 strips and again tones down the violence of the book thus robbing the story of it's best scenes. The scene where the shark maims Felix Liter for instance (Licence To Kill for you movie folk) is toned down and it's probably the best part of the book. The story however is none the weaker for not including Fleming's silly Harlem night club scenes but Solitaire is just as superfluous and weak here as she is in the book.

Moonraker: 113 Strips ****/*****
One of Fleming's best books is also a very strong comic strip. Some people do not like Moonraker because it's more personal and contains less action I personally like it for that very reason. The strip is very faithful to the book as all the early strips were. The strip does lose some points for still having Bond narrate. Great job of fleshing out Hugo Drax.

Diamonds Are Forever 146 strips **** /*****
Not for the last time one the less thought of Fleming novels makes a strong comic strip. In fact for what it is it's stronger than the book. The globe trotting plot translates well to comic strip as do the crazy villains and Tiffany Case. We begin to get away from the Bond as narrator structure thank goodness.

From Russia With Love: 95 strips ** /*****
Since books less thought of like Diamonds, Goldfinger and Golden Gun would go on to make great strips perhaps it's no surprise that From Russia With Love one of the most popular if not THE most popular novel is the weakest strip of the book and one of the weakest of the entire run. The first third of the novel doesn't contain James Bond and unlike later strips like The Spy Who Loved Me the strips had yet to experiment with the source material by adding and expanding on the story. So what you end up with is a short strip that follows much the book but doesn't seem to be any relation to it.

Goldfinger 146 strips **** 1/2/*****
The strongest strip of the book. Again it's exactly like the book which is also true of the movie so it's got a story board quality to much of it. Not much to add but well done.

Dr No: 113 Strips: **** /*****
Since "No" was written by Modesty Blaise creator Peter O'Donnell I was interested to go back and see if the story is more dialogue driven as Modesty Blaise comic strips are. The answer is yes. O'Donnell was a real pro at writing these strips. I am just now discovering and very much enjoying Modesty Blaise, so it should come as no surprise that this strip is very well done. Oddly Titan books would release some alternate art work of Dr. No. from other artist and much of it was better than McLuscky's.

Risico: 71 strips *** 1/2/*****
Since Risico was a short story in the novel For Your Eyes Only it's fitting that the strip is also quite short. The plot would be familiar to movie goers as part of the Movie For Your Eyes Only. The part about drug smuggling and Mr's Kristatos and Columbo. The strip well done but doesn't add anything to Fleming's story to flesh out a longer strip as the later adaptations of short stories would. BTW Kristatos in the strip looks a lot like Topal who played Columbo in the movie.

From A View To A Kill: 66 Strips. *** /*****
Another short story another short strip. The story has nothing to do with the movie which would more or less take it' name so don't expect any mean looking 6 foot tall women here. It's actually a straight espionage story more than anything. It's entertaining if not memorable.

For Your Eyes Only: 78 Strips *** 1/2/*****
Another short story adaptation from the book of the same name. The plot for you movie fans is the part about the murder of the Havelock family and their daughter here named Judy looking for revenge. In the short story the Havelocks live in Vermont and are friends of M which is why Bond is sent to investigate. The strip is very well done even if it too could have benefited from the tweaks they would give later stories.

Thunderball: 62 Strips Inccomplete/*****
Poor Thunderball never with out controversy. Ian Fleming had an argument with Lord Beaverbrook who ran the Express so the story was given a one strip wrap up in the middle of it's run. Meaning it's really pretty incomprehensible. Thunderball was not in my opinion one of the better books nor was either cinematic version one of the better movies. All relative of course. As we've learned that wouldn't have guaranteed a weak strip. Truth is we'll never know because of the sudden ending.

As a whole these 11 strips are not as strong as the 7 that make up Volume 002 still the book is treasure for Bond nerds like moi.

James Bond Omnibus Volume 1 ****/*****

Pottermania! Episodes Four and Five ("Time is making fools of us again.")

Thanks to circumstances unseen, i'm combining Episodes four and five on this one post. I'll have Half-Blood Prince up later in the afternoon and hopefully, ET and I will give a detailed review on Deathly Hallows - Part I later tonight, but for now, here's Goblet of Fire and Order of the Phoenix!

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire won't be remembered for being the first entry that was slapped the PG-13 rating by the MPAA, of the first time a Brit director, Mike Newell, helmed the series, or even how narrow escapes and tragic losses become a part of the theme for movies 5-7 Part I. Nope, when people talk about Goblet, it will be because the film marked the first appearance of Edward Cullen, before he makes the move to Forks, Washington and falls in love with Bella Swan.

Unlike the first three movies, where the most exhilirating sequences have either come from a Quidditch match, killing a basilisk, or fighting off a swarm of Dementors, Goblet of Fire is an action picture from start to finish. As Harry enters his fourth year at Hogwarts, the school plays host to the Tri-Wizard Tournament (think of a cross between the Olympics and any varsity high school team you remember watching in your high school days), a series of three dangerous tasks that challenge the magical abilities of the witch or wizard competing. The catch? You have to be 17 or older to compete, which, for the first time during his time at Hogwarts, Harry may be able to have a quiet year without having to put himself in mortal danger, which, of course, is not going to happen. He is chosen as a fourth champion for the games, alongside Fleur Delacour (Clemency Posey) of Beauxbatons, the famous Bulgarian Seeker Victor Krum of Durmsrang, and Hogwarts own Cedric Diggory (Robert Pattinson). Harry is expected to get past a nasty Hungarian Horntail, a lake filled with killer mermaids, and a maze that changes frequently and without warning, the Cup waiting somewhere in the midst of the danger. These actions sequences are thrilling, rousing spectacles which helps the series get in touch with its inner-Indiana Jones.

As the film progresses, Harry stares down two great villains: one being the resurgence of the sinister Lord Voldemort (Ralph Finnes), with means to finish Harry off and take over the Wizarding World. His dialogue in the graveyard with the Death Eaters and Harry is downright chilling, as only Finnes can deliver, playing a voliatle protagonist before with chilling demanor as Amor Goeth in Schindler's List). The other lurks into the halls of Hogwarts, and into the life of Harry: adolescence. Attraction of the opposite sex has taken hold of many of the classmates, Harry, Ron, and Hermione in particular. It's funny to hear Harry admit that he'd rather go another round with a dragon than try and ask out Cho Chang, or any girl from the Beauxbatons academy for girls; also equally stunning to see Hermione all dressed in pink and heartbreaking to see her crying after the dance after her and Ron have "words".

In the first two movies, Sorcerer's Stone and Chamber of Secrets feel like we're watching something off of the Hollywood assembly factory - sure it beats most of the fantasy films that have tried to cash off of the success of the Potter movies (I'm looking at you, Narnia, Percy Jackson, and Twilight) - but it still felt bland and the typical, run-of-the-mill blockbuster. Azkaban ditched the assembly-line feel and gives the viewer an indie-art house vibe to match the darker undertones and surprising maturity. Goblet deftly combines the Hollywood blockbuster with a genre-bending feel. The influences the movie pays homage to - from Indiana Jones, to John Hughes coming-of-age movies, to the mystery and suspense of a Hitchcock thriller - are unmistakable and are blended together so well, that the end result makes it the most exciting and enjoyable Potter picture of the series.

Order of the Phoenix, the fifth chapter in the Harry Potter series, took some major heat from the critics. At 78% on Rotten Tomatoes, it is the weakest reviewed movie of the lot, which is saying something, with the fact that there hasn't been a godawful movie of he bunch. In their criticism has been the performance of debut director David Yates and the uneasiness he had with translating the longest book in the series into one of the shortest movies, at a running time of 139 minutes. Fair point, and it is for this very reason why Order of the Phoenix comes off a missed opportunity: Rowling's 5th novel was an excellent and subtle meditation of the world, post 9/11, disguised as a more somber coming-of-age tale of friendship and morality.

The arc of the story - Fudge, the Mister of Magic, doing everything in his power to silence Harry and Prof. Dumbledore from warning everyone that Lord Voldemort has returned again, beveling it's all a ploy by the Hogwarts headmaster to take his job - draws lines to Nixon and how his increasing paranoia for the competition lead him to have goons break into the DNC headquarters of the Watergate hotel in '72, and Bush Jr. and his band of thugs altering the voter count in Florida back in 2000. The lengths Fudge is willing to go in order to shut the pair up - from placing Dolores Umbridge in charge to act as a mole for the Ministry, to BS-ing stories of mass breakouts from the wizarding prison Azkaban and random disappearances of various citizens - highlights the incompetence of a president who is clearly in over his head. And the way Umbrdge slowly acquires power through Educational Degress, threatening staff with firings for disloyalty to the Minister of Magic, and harsh techniques used on students who step out of line or simply for questioning the actions of a few, this highlights certain members of the Bush Administration and their lockstep followers personified: Cheney and his baseless disregard for the rule of law, Rumsfeld and Gonzalez giving the green light on torturing enemy combatants to extract information on terrorists, and right-wing pundits calling the opposition un-patriotic and un-American for criticizing a sitting president. These themes are present in the film version, but they only skim the surface, instead of being a big part of the story.

However, what the filmmakers lacked in bringing that arc of the story to a more central role, the movie makes up for in remembering the heart of the story, which is Harry's inner conflict with his emotions, and Voldemort trying to access his mind and manipulate his dreams (so this is where Christopher Nolan found his inspiration for Inception...), and the overall growing pains he goes through, transitioning from the boy in the closet we first see in Book One, to a young man facing down the Death Eaters in the Department of Mysteries with his friends from Dumbledore's Army. Speaking of DA, that's the plot of movie five in a nutshell: Umbridge has been sent to the prestigious school to as a mole at the request of the ministry and does her best to keep the students in the dark by teaching them nothing about Defense of the Dark Arts. Harry, Ron, and Hermione decide to create an alternative group as a means to teach students how to defend themselves against dark wizards, Voldemort and the Death Eaters, in particular. Probably the best thing about this installment is the villain herself - Imelda Staunton is nothing short of brilliant as Umbrdge, a cross between Cheney and Margaret Thatcher, all parts wicked and pure bitch. Another Brit newcomer to the series, the lovely Helena Bonham Carter, plays Bellatrix Lestrange, You-Kno-Who's right hand woman. She has little screen time in this one, but she plays her like the seductive, insane loyalist that J.K. portrays her as. Best of all is the action sequence in the Department of Mysteries, in three parts: the first between the members of Dumbledore's Army - Nevelle (Matthew Lewis, no longer used as comic relief), Ginny (Bonnie Wright), and the eccentric Luna Lovegood (a delightful Evanna Lynch, sp?) squaring off against Bellatrix, Lucius, and the rest of the Death Eaters; the second when the Order shows up to aid Harry and friends; and lastly, the fight between Voldemort and wise old Dumbledore (Michael Gambon). All three action sequences are captured by Yates almost in a verite-like style and the end result is an exciting and very somber 40 minutes, in which Harry loses his beloved godfather in the firefight.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix may not be the best in the series, but it does toe the line on the dark cloud that is slowly coming, and the performances - both by the young actors and the veteran British cast - continues to be a hallmark of the series.

Update On Bob Peters

I was not going to blog again about that idiot Bob Peters because honestly he isn't worth the space but if in fact he is the Bob Peters who is The President of Ankeny Iowa Little League then yes I will say what needs to be said.

You may recall that Borders the book store Bob Peters works for filed for bankruptcy and one of the stores that they closed was the West Des Moines store that he managed. After his store was closed he stopped posting on his blog for a few months though he never admitted he was unemployed. He couldn't admit to his fan-base (Blackfon) that he was a failure. As if Blackfon has every been anything but. Anyway I am happy to report Bob is back on his feet and blogging again. Between his unemployment checks and his wife's gig as a manager of a quilting store He is now secure enough to go back to posting nonsense on his blog. By the way I sincerely hope she does a better job than her husband for her stores sake. It's possible though not highly probable that Cindy Peters doesn't know about her Husbands "other side" If in fact it is his other side. Maybe he's just a complete prick who knows. Anyway I am not here to judge Cindy nor was I going to post about Bob again until I found something a little bit disturbing.

Unless there are two or three Bob Peters in Ankeny and with a name like that it's possible there is more than one and I sincerely hope that in the case of the President of the Ankeny, Iowa little league it is another Bob Peters. Can you imagine having a man who not only is a white supremacist but whom also befriends admitted pedophiles as the President of your child's little league group? I know that that would scare the hell out me if I were a parent.

Comments shut off on this thread.

Pottermania! Episode Three

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban marks a transition on numerous levels. The protagonists are in their last year of Hogwarts "middle school," so to speak, poised to make their move forward into the true throes of adolescence. The overall tone of the series shifts to an even darker place with the addition of the spectral Dementors. An aura of things hidden emerges with the Marauder's Map and its revelations, like unveiled clues in a mystery novel. And from the classroom exercise with the Boggart-occupied wardrobe, to Harry's efforts to successfully conjure a Patronus, to the transformations of Remus Lupin and the untruths surrounding Sirius Black, nothing can quite be counted on to be what it seems to be on the surface. This leaves the Year Three Hogwarts students with an exponentially treacherous maze to navigate.

Azkaban is the first of the films where the questions become more internal than external - less the mechanical issues of how do we get out of the Devil's Snare trap or open the Chamber of Secrets, but who can and can't we trust, and why. It's important to note that baddie-in-chief Voldemort does not figure prominently in any respect (his duties are instead relegated to the Dementors, irredeemably nasty soul-suckers that they are). He is referred to, peripherally, by the likes of Peter Pettigrew, aka Wormtail, but we do not see Voldemort in his full flower again until Goblet of Fire. And, in a way, this is appropriate. The transition to the next stage is a knotty and treacherous one for any child at this age, and the absence of Voldemort as a clear and present foil amplifies the uncertainty, leaving the trio of friends largely unmoored from a safe haven (even one defined by the active presence of an enemy) and increasingly in a position where they have to depend on themselves and one another.

Depending on one another, though, is no longer as simple as it once was. Azkaban introduces a heightened level of tension between Harry, Ron and Hermione, often expressed in the form of impatience and temper. You could say that Hermione's time-turner is a metaphor for everything our heroes are going through. They're burning the candle at both ends, literally and figuratively: taking action in multiple places at multiple times, and riding the tide of events that they don't fully understand but are, somewhat unfairly, being required to confront and cope with. The straightforward hero's quest motif of mostly ordered, escalating trials and challenges prevalent in the first two stories is completely upended here into the realm of the unpredictable. Imagine George R.R. Martin (the writer who has given us the world of Game of Thrones) and Agatha Christie teaming up to novelize the labors of Hercules, and you have a beginning...

It's a storytelling evolution that Alfonso Cuarón's directorial style is ideally positioned to mesh with. From the outset and throughout the film, his images are shrouded in mist and in mystery, atmospheric and evocative, with perhaps the only disjointed and endlessly repeated element the slow fades when Harry loses consciousness, a technique that I found lost its impact exponentially with each use, seeming more contrived than in the service of the story. Apart from that one tonal miscue, though, Cuarón captures ideally the driving force behind the Azkaban story: personal relationships and the levels of deception/reception we allow them to encompass.

This comes to a head as Harry finally conjures his essential, game-changing Patronus. Aware that he has nobody to depend on but himself, past or present, he digs down to his essential core and delivers.

At the same time, I don't want to give the many moments of humor in Azkaban short shrift. They range from delights like Harry's Leaky Cauldron stand-off with the Monster Book of Monsters to the almost-slapstick of Lupin's students queuing up to take on the Boggart's cabinet - Snape in drag as Neville's grandmother is worth the price of admission all by itself, as is the Weasley twins' bequeathing of the Marauder's Map to Harry or his confrontation with Snape in the Hogwarts corridor, compelled in an ironic moment to tell Snape exactly what the map - and he - really think! Cuarón evinces brilliant timing in allowing these moments to surface spontaneously amid otherwise tension-filled sequences - think Hermione urging Buckbeak to "come and get the nice dead ferret!" - lending the scene a dark but not hopeless humor appropriate to the story.

Azkaban's final legacy, though, is that it is the film which marks the point at which negative consequences begin to be part of our heroes' adventures. In the first two films, the comeuppances of Quirrell and Lockhart are deservedly earned, and pure justice is served. But in Azkaban, Lupin's resignation is the result of collateral damage and an anti-werewolf whispering campaign. Our trio has taken their first steps into a more adult wizarding world where cause and effect make for an imperfect equation, and nothing is fair. This is a much more sophisticated and complex message that will be brought home smartly in the subsequent installments, both written and cinematic.

A Few Words About Betty Ford

Betty Ford passed away last night at the age of 93. It seems in a way to me tragic that in our memories she will become almost more of a place in our collective conscience than a person. It's hard to type or say the name Betty Ford with out taking on "center" to the end of it. However I am sure Betty Ford was quite pleased and proud of the work she and her center did to help countless celebrities and others I suppose fight and break the addictions of Booze and drugs. As well she should have been.

I am sure somebody somewhere has opined about how awful Ms. Ford was and how the rest of us are kool-aid drinking fools or some such nonsense but honestly I have not seen it. And what little there is of that sort of thing it is miniscule compared to what you would be likely to see about most anyone else connected to politics. It seems that almost everyone, right and left, thought very highly and very much liked Betty Ford and that is what makes her an oddity in today's world.

And truthfully I liked her Husband as well. Would I have voted for him? No, unless I had to choose between him and Reagan. Is it because he was born just a few car minutes ride away from where the Count types this? I don't think so. besides Leslie King was born there Gerald Ford was from Michigan. It is I think because he was what too few of the people in his party are today. Good people. The same seems to have been more than true for Betty Ford as well.

I believe that no political party as the monopoly on good and bad people . I also believe in a Heaven, and both Gerald and Betty Ford are reunited there tonight.

Pottermania! Episode Two

With just a week to go until the release of the final Harry Potter film Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part II, ET and I are looking back and review all the HP movies, from The Philosopher's Stone (or Sorcerer's for us Yanks) to Part I. Today, it falls upon me to review and look back on Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, the second chapter in the saga, and probably the weakest of the lot.

Here's an analogy for ya'll who have never watched the second film to the series: Chamber of Secrets is to Harry Potter as Attack of the Clones is to Star Wars: both movies are considered the weakest entries to the series, and both have their share of problems, with one big difference separating the two entries, but more on this later. Chamber of Secrets actually begins with promise: there's a more menacing tone which occasionally rises to the surface of the movie, especially when Harry experiences Floo Powder for the fist time, and with near disastrous results as he ends up in Knockturn Alley. This simmering of darkness continues as Potter is transported to the past with the help of a former Hogwarts student who's been able to preserve himself in the pages of a diary for nearly half a century, and witnesses Hagrid's shameful past brought to life as a former student of the school's walls. The movie itself feels more thrilling and nervier than its predecessor, like the film's rousing Quidditch match, as our young hero has to juggle beating Malfoy from catching the Golden Snitch and dodging a bludger that's gone south on his British ass. And two new characters add depth to the already impressive talent of British actors. As Gildory Lockhart, the ego-driven author and new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Kenneth Branagh is a delight to watch on screen. Watching him teach the class about Cornish Pixies and having them go hog-wild on him is devilishly fun. The other new character is Lucius Malfoy, played with subtle scumbaggery by Jason Issacs. His scene where he meets Potter and friends for the first time in a bookstore makes you see the internal wounds inflicts on everyone without hamming it up for the audience. Lastly, there's a sense of comradeship between the three leads - Daniel Radcliffe as Harry, Rupert Grint as Ron, and Emma Watson as Hermione - a bond which becomes more fun and poignant as the series progresses.

Having said all that: many of the problems that appeared in Philosopher's Stone are still present in Chamber of Secrets: director Chris Columbus and screenwriter Steve Kloves take a hat-in-hand approach to adapting the novels: It really feels as if we are watching a near word for word retelling of the novel, rather than either person giving off their vision for the movie. The pacing suffers as a result, and Chamber drags on for almost three hours. The simmering darkness that came through in certain scenes in the film never really burst out, they're sprinkled in there as a tease for the audience. As soon as we become more interested, the movie switches back to its candy-assed version, where everyone's performing magic and either Ron or Nevelle do something funny with magic that gets either student into hot water. The last scene where Hagrid returns to the Great Hall, which starts as a soft golf clap but quickly becomes a thunderous applause from the students, is saccharine overkill.

Yet at the end of the day, despite the film's biggest flaws, Chamber of Secrets leaves Potterheads at King's Cross, only wishing for the next train back to Hogwarts. Its more disappointment, rather than disaster, unlike Attack of the Clones, which was a clusterfuck all the way up until the last leg, where we're spared 35-40 minutes of terrible dialog and become involved in the rescue of Obi Wan, Anakin and Padme which quickly becomes the first battle in the Clone Wars. Also, Harry was never a whiny, complaining little bitch, unlike Hayden Christensen's Anakin Skywalker.

Jonathan Goes To the Movies: The TOTALLY Bummer Summer

If Judy Moody could see the crap that's been related so far this summer, there's no way she would think this has been anything but a bummer summer at the movies. Films I had high hopes for went more stale than the weeks-long news rotation on Anthony Weiner's cock picture scandal. And movies that I should have stayed away from but saw anyway had me feeling like an idiot for seeing. Yet there have been a few bight spots in the summer of our discontent and a few surprises I didn't see coming, so allow me to review the all the good, but mostly bad and disappointing movies for the summer so far.

Top of the class: Who would have though that a mostly-female cast would show up the likes of the Wolfpack, Po and the Furious Five, Capt. Jack Sparrow? and 95% of the movie's i've watched this summer? Bridesmaids does just that, combining character and gross-out comedy into a movie that not only stands with the big boys, but kicks their asses and offers the challenge, stating that this is the comedy to beat this year. Kristen Wiig, best known for her work on Saturday Night Live is a star on the rise as Annie, a middle-aged woman who's life is spiraling quickly into crisis as she tries to navigate though being the maid of honor for her best friend, Lillie's (Maya Rudolph, another SNL castmember) wedding, dealing with a fellow bridesmaid who's one-upping her at every turn (a deliciously bitchy Rose Byrne), and her pathetic love and professional life. In the hands of anyone else, this character would be an annoying, frantic woman we couldn't stand, but Wiig balances screwball humor and an aching sadness for the direction her life is going perfectly. Guys will think is chick-flick hell, and wonder what the hell is comedy czar Judd Apatow was thinking when he produced this movie. To quote Peter Travers when talking about Sex and the City: The Movie: "Stop resiting, guys. You just might learn something." ***1/2 stars out of ****

The runner up: J.J. Abrams' monster movie Super 8, next to Bridesmaids, was the only summer movie that actually lived up to expectations, and then some. Abrams wisely doesn't show us the creature unitl the last leg of the film, where it becomes predictable and anyone could take a stab at the final outcome will be, but everything leading up to it is engaging. Set in small town Ohio circa 1979, Joe (newcomer Joel Courtney) is still reeling from the death of her mother, and his deputy sheriff dad (Kyle Chandler) is absent, both at home and emotionally. Making B-level horror movies with his pals - Charley (a lively Riley Griffiths), the director and his loyal crew Martin, Preston, and Cary - provide an escape from the pain. Two things happen that shake up Joe's world: the lead actress for Charley's zombie flick, Alice (Elle Fanning) and how he almost falls for her hard, and witnessing a destructive train crash and how something escapes that the Army has to come in and secretly tries to reclaim and cover up. The movie goes on autopilot after this - things and people are missing, and the town is almost thrown into chaos, and our main characters begin to learn that what was on that train may not be from this world - but the interaction between father and son, along with his friends and Alice is funny and poignant, giving Super 8 its heart and soul, to match the brilliant visual effects and sound editing. *** stars out of ****


False adverting at its best: While Wiig and Abrams had me going to repeat viewings, watching these sequels left a bitter taste in my mouth the first time. The Hangover Part II was a rehash of all the madness and fun which made the first movie a comedy classic, only now they boys wake up in Bangkok after another night where shit gets out of hand and Phil (Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed Helms, now playing the groom-to-be), and Alan (Zack Galifianakis) lose another person - Stu's soon to be brother-in-law, Teddy (Mason Lee) within the madness of their wild night. Drug monkeys, a tranny hooker/stripper, silent monks, and a crime boss all make up the crazy shit the Wolfpack gets into, but the jokes turn stale and repetitive. Director Todd Phillips is in talks to make a final Hangover film, and it'll get the greenlight: Part II is now the highest grossing R-rated comedy of all time. Please, Warner Bros: don't let there be a Part III. Kung Fu Panda 2 the sequel to 08's surprisingly funny and delightful animated homage to kung fu films and Chinese mythology in 2008 - didn't fair any better than the Wolfpack did. The continuing adventures of Po (Jack Black get another gig - fast!) and his pals, the Furious Five, consisting of Tigress (Angelina Jolie), Crane (David Cross), Monkey (Jackie Chan), Viper (Lucy Liu), and Mantis (Seth Rogen), much like The Hangover Part II, is a tired and un-inspiring sequel which gets very old very fast. Po and his friends must now square off with Lord Shen (Gary Oldman, back in reliable mode after his career-worst performance in Red Riding Hood) as he plans to use fireworks as a weapon of mass destruction to enslave China. Everything in Kung Fu Panda 2, up until the third act in which Po confronts his mysterious past and pulls off some truly amazing martial arts sequences that are worth the extra price of seeing this in 3D, is boring and less exciting. Rounding out the trio of sequels that have run out of gas is Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, the fourth entry in the franchise, and hopefully the last. Don't get me wrong: its still devilish fun watching Johnny Depp reprise his role as the eccentric swashbuckler, but even his character is starting to show he may need a breather. This time, Jack hunts for the Fountain of Youth while trying to stay one step ahead of rival Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), and the infamously-feared pirate Blackbeard (Ian McShane from TV's Deadwood) and her stunning daughter (Penelope Cruz, who did all her stunts while she was pregnant) who's trying to redeem her father's soul. Throw in zombies, man-eating mermaids, and other zany tricks Terry Rossio and Terry Elliot threw into the screenplay, and what we have is another non-stop action picture that goes down easy, but you forget everything the next day.

The Hangover Part II - ** stars out of ****
Kung Fu Panda 2 - ** stars out of ****
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - **1/2 stars out of ****

...And then there was The Tree of Life... Don't be fooled by what the critics say, or the fact that writer/director Terrence Malick's ambitious story of a 1950's family inner war between ideals held by hard-ass father (Brad Pitt), and tender, radiant mother (Jessica Chastain) on how the kids should live their lives, won the Palm D'or at the Cannes Film festival. From the minute Malick starts making grand connections between the formation of the universe to the existential conflict the older Jack (Sean Penn) now has as a successful architect in Houston, to the whispering voices of our main characters to a higher entity, The Tree of Life devolves into a pretentious and tedious exercise of the director showing off without giving these gorgeous shots of nature and the cosmos a reason to fit into his story, other than the purpose of just being there. ** stars out of ****

These were surprisingly good: Confession: I thought Marvel Studio's Thor, would be a disaster. The trailer looked lame, the lead actor, Chris Hermsworth, came off as a pretty boy who probably couldn't act, and director Kenneth Branagh was way in over his head. How wrong I was, and it made me learn to trust Marvel in the fact they know what they're doing. Thor is by no means, one of the best Marvel entries since Iron-Man or Spider Man 2, but the movie does toe the Marvel line of solid performances, dazzling visuals (the sequences of Thor's home of Asgard are marvelous), and engaging storytelling. Thor (Hermsworth) is banished to Earth after nearly starting a war with the Frost Giants, and begins to learn lessons in humility. What he doesn't know is that his brother Loki (Tom Hiddleson) set him up to attack the frost people, and has plans of unleashing a war between the two factions and destroying his home-world. Another confession: I was about the skip X-Men: First Class entirely. The last two installments, The Last Stand and X-Men Origins: Wolverine left a bad taste in my mouth. So it surprised me that director Matthew Vaughn (the excellent Kick-Ass), along with his young cast: James McAvoy as Xavior, Michael Fassbender as Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto, Jennifer Lawrence, fresh off her Oscar-nominated performnace in Winter's Bone, as Raven (aka: the blue, shape-shifting Mystique), Nicholas Hoult as Hank McCoy (aka Beast), and the near endless list of characters who don't get enough screen tine to develop, all gave the prequel an exciting, kick-in-the-pants the series, and the parade of summer movies, desparately needed. The history of the Cuban Missile Crisis is the main focus of the plot: Sebastian Shaw (a diabolical Kevin Bacon) uses the rising tensions between the U.S. and the Soviets to install a new world order in which humanity falls on bended knee to the mutants. Charles and Erik, on opposite sides of the debate of their species, recruit mutants all over to stop Sebastian. The ride is long at 2 hrs and 15 minutes, but there's never a dull moment with the First Class, in my opinion, the best class since Bryan Singer directed the first X-Men movie.

Thor - *** stars out of ***
X-Men: First Class - ***1/2 stars out of ****

Pottermania! Episode One

In the run-up to the release of the final film in the Potter saga, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II, fellow correspondent Jonathan suggested that we team up to offer our recaps and thoughts on the prior films in the series. As it falls to me to provide the launch, I'll kick things off with my plot synopsis and review of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's (Philosopher's) Stone.

We first meet put-upon orphan Harry in his under-stair cupboard "room" at 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey. Harry is under the care, so to speak, of his odious uncle and aunt, Vernon and Petunia Dursley, and endlessly bullied and marginalized by their spoilt son Dudley. A surprising conversation at the zoo with a snake, a seemingly-endless spate of owl-delivered letters, and the umbrella-wielding appearance of an apparent giant combine to announce Harry's 11th birthday news: he's a wizard. And, not only that, his is the most famous name in the wizarding community, as he is miraculously the only one to have survived a direct attack by the legendary and deadly wizard gone bad, He Who Must Not Be Named, Lord Voldemort. And it's time for him to go to school.

Hagrid whisks young Harry off to Diagon Alley to purchase his school supplies - wands and owls and robes being ever so much more interesting than notebooks and protractors - and thence to King's Cross Station, where he boards the Hogwarts Express at Platform 9 3/4 for the journey of a lifetime. On board he meets those who are to come to be his truest friends: ginger-haired Ron Weasley of the eclectic and decidedly non-aristocratic Weasley family, and the bookish Muggle-born prodigy Hermione Granger.

What follows is a whirlwind of introduction to Wizarding 101 as the first-year students are sorted into their Hogwarts Houses and begin their studies: potions, transfiguration, broom-riding, and the always-daunting Defence Against The Dark Arts curriculum. Along the way the trio encounters a mysterious forbidden area in Hogwarts Castle that appears to sport a series of traps awaiting those who would seek the prize it conceals: the Sorcerer's (or, for UK and Canadian audiences, Philosopher's) Stone, which confers immortality on its bearer. The half-alive Lord Voldemort obviously has a desperate need for such a magical artifact, and at the climax of the conflict Harry alone stands in his way. The storyline ends with Voldemort's temporary setback, the solidification of Harry's friendships with Ron and Hermione, the benevolent mentoring of Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, and the promise of more adventure to come.

The filmed version of Book One in the franchise has been given short shrift as being only competently directed and acted, lacking some of the heights of dramatic tension achieved in the later installments. I think it's important for us to remember that one of the primary goals of the first film in the series was to establish the world in which the current and then future stories would be told. In the science fiction realm this is known as world-building, and it requires a certain amount of explication that doesn't necessarily lend itself to high drama. Hence the moving staircases, the introduction to Quidditch, the Mirror of Erised, the forest beyond Hagrid's hut, and the freshly-hatched dragon's egg. We need to touch all of these elements to get a sense of the environment in which we're operating. On a certain level, the first film is like a guided tour bus showing us the highlights of the Hogwarts world. We hop on, and we hop off, but we never delve too deep.

Let us remember, too, that the three core point-of-view characters anchoring us to the narrative are pre-teens. The first story in the sequence, more than any of the others, is meant to be viewed through childhood eyes. And, if you ask me, this film achieves that goal well. The challenges faced by Harry, Ron and Hermione on their journey to seek out the Stone are perfectly scaled to their age and comparative lack of sophistication. Each of them has a challenge to meet, and they meet them on a childhood-appropriate level. It's intended to be and is executed mainly as a kid's film, at the end of the day, but I think it gives adults enough in terms of production values, storyline, and gorgeous supporting performances by the likes of Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Richard Harris and Robbie Coltrane to also keep the moms and dads satisfied.

The John Williams score is, perhaps, a little too "twee" on the whole, though you can't deny the man's talent for establishing a musical motif. And the atmospherics are there, whether you're looking at a pajama-clad Harry gazing out his Gryffindor tower window, loyal Hedwig at his side, contemplating the future; or the kids braving a real-life version of Wizard's Chess where the stakes go well beyond the gameboard.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's (Philosopher's) Stone, in my view - while not a standout in filmmaking or performance terms - represents a worthy launch to the franchise, laying the necessary groundwork for more complex narratives and more character-driven stories to be built upon its foundation.

The Book Bond: Orion releases ROLE OF HONOR and NOBODY LIVES FORE...

The Book Bond: Orion releases ROLE OF HONOR and NOBODY LIVES FORE...: "Orion Books have released the next two hardcover reprints of the classic John Gardner James Bond title, Role of Honor (first published in ..."

The Not Guilty Verdict And Why I Am Outraged

If you watched any cable "news" network today you'll know that Casey Anthony was found not guilty of murder and manslaughter. Some were outraged by the verdict. I was not. For one thing I didn't follow the trial at all. For another when I finally asked somebody "The Contessa" what the thing was about and to make it as brief as possible my first reaction was and this is a national story how? The whole thing to me was a story for the Orlando Florida press not CNN or MSNBC. Fuck Fox. The sad but truth about the matter is these things happen all the time. There was a case in Omaha that is almost exactly the same recently. So why am I outraged by this story?



There is your answer. I often joke that ___________________ is what is wrong with America often for purposes solely of humor. But in the case of Nancy Grace I mean it. She is what is wrong with America. Is she the soulless (you're guilty damn the facts damn the trial) shrew she portrays on TV or did she happen upon an act like the Limbaughs and Hannity's of the world and milk it for all it's worth? I do not know. But one thing I do know, She is no advocate of anything other than Nancy Grace. First there is the sob story of how she became the first bitch of victims rights that changes every-time she tells it. Honestly it would not shock me of the whole story is a hoax anyway. Then there is her you're guilty damn the facts, damn the justice system damn the American way routine. It's been said the woman leans liberal. It doesn't matter she hates America as much as any brain-dead unemployed teabagger ever has. Is our justice system perfect? Nope. For one thing it isn't color blind and I am not talking black and white the color our justice system sees and most and works for best is green. That being said I like it even if sometimes I do not agree with it. It's damn sure better than the Nancy Grace "you're guilty shut-up" justice system which never requires a trial by the jury of your peers. It only requires a quick judgement from an overbearing egomaniac. Yes I can live with the not guilty and the occasional verdict that I find suspect or just plain wrong. But it saddens me that in this great country that not only do we have Nancy Grace's but we make them superstars and somehow put value on their opinions that do such harm and damage to individuals our freedom and our country. Don't forget Nancy many of us think you yourself are a murderer and you never had to face a judge or a jury. That's ok for once I am sure you would pronounce the accused innocent with out hearing the facts.