The View From My Ass: The Count Is Not A House Worker

You remember them old time sitcom episodes where the man and wife get into arguments about how hard housework is and how he can do what she does and of course when he goes to do the housework he fails miserably thus learning how hard his poor wife's life really is? Well I am living that today. No I didn't say housework was easy and any fool could do it then set out to prove this fool couldn't. And No I'm not married to a house wife. Hell I've done laundry before and I've even cleaned dishes. I even kinda like doing dishes. So why has tonight been such a disaster?

For starters the Contessa left Friday afternoon for a short trip to see the folks and to go to St. Louis with friends be back Wednesday that's nice yes I'll do the laundry and the dishes no problem you know Monday I promised Caleb (My Nephew) to take him to Raw it's all good have fun bye. Well of course being a Male I didn't do any house work other than getting garbage out and I agreed to let Caleb spend last night over here he left about 6 P.M. So by the time I got around to start cleaning things were 5 days worse than they would have been if I had just cleaned everyday.

Well tonight I do two loads of laundry...wow this ain't too bad. Other than the black sock that somehow got mixed up in the whites I did pretty good. I even thought I separated all the clothes. This one time I really wished I was Ralph, Bob Or Mark Noonan. They never would do anything until they made sure all the coloreds were separated from the whites.

Anyway No harm done. Get this last load in the dryer do the dishes and I can watch the end of Miami, Dallas it's all good. I get the clothes in the laundry the damn dryer won't start. Now I am getting pissed cussing the machine the dogs are getting nervous I am thinking about calling the Contessa why can't I get this damn dryer to work after two loads? Then I look down and see the door is open. DOH! I am Ralph, Bob or Mark Noonan at least tonight. Closed the door got the dryer going up stairs to do the dishes. The sink is loaded.

Now normally as I said I like doing dishes. But I do dishes the old fashion way. I load the sink full of water put soap in the water get my hands in the water and ipso-facto Dishes are cleaned. By now I am tired and just a little pissed. The cat meowed outside my bedroom door until I put him downstairs, I baby sat all day, I did the laundry, I am ready for my wife to be home and I am tired. So I say what about this dishwasher machine thingy how hard could it be? I mean it's not the same as washing by hand but it works right? And how hard could it be to work? I load the dishwasher I go off to watch the 4th quarter of the game I come back out to the kitchen And the floor is covered in soap. SO I also mopped the kitchen floor which wasn't on my list. I just did so with dish-washing detergent. This has been my day.

Tomorrow when I get home and God willing the Contessa is back we're going to the best medium priced steakhouse I can find. Not only because I want to show my appreciation for her but because I have earned it. The crappy dinners, fighting the dryer flooding the kitchen I deserve a break and I damn sure don't mean McDonald's either. There is a lesson to be learned in all of this. Wives who bitch about your men not doing house work parking their fat asses by the tube watching sports-center all night while the laundry sits there until you do something. You should be damn grateful. It could be worse. If he's anything like me the more housework he helps you with the more you'll just have to do later.

KTF

Count Istvan

Tedium With A Satisfactory Payoff. Remembering James Bond: The Man From Barbarossa

Spoilers though again the book is 20 years old.

DS: Fleming attempted to break the format of his novels with the experimental THE SPY WHO LOVED ME, which was written in first person from a woman’s point-of-view. You attempted to break the formula by writing THE MAN FROM BARBAROSSA. Most fans did not like this departure, but you did. Why?

JG: One of the main objects of the exercise, as it was explained to me, was to bring Bond into the 1980s. I also wanted him to grow up. He was, until then, a teenager's delight, and Fleming acknowledged that, saying that he had the mind of a teenager. When I got to THE MAN FROM BARBAROSSA I had quite a long meeting with Glidrose to tell them what I proposed to do, and they were certainly behind me. In fact when the manuscript was delivered I was told this was just what they wanted. I was amazed and amused when I heard a broadcast during the run-up to Benson's first book when Peter Janson-Smith said that the readers just were not ready for such a change. I think it would have been accepted if I had been allowed to follow through and go on writing the books in that way ­ getting away from the formula. As it was, when we delivered the book the British publishers said how good it was and the Americans went berserk and said, "This is no good. This isn't the mixture as before," which was the object of the thing. I tried to deepen the character and make it work on different levels. I understand that when Fleming delivered THE SPY WHO LOVED ME everyone tried to stop him from publishing it.

The following quote is from an interview conducted by Bond fan "Dr. Shatterhand" with the late John Gardner and can be found on his outstanding website here The quote is telling on why The Man From Barbarossa and really the entire Gardner era of Bond novels is still controversial in Bond fan circles. Though of course since his passing in 2007 his books have become more popular. Isn't that of course how it always works?

Gardner is not wrong in his observation that Fleming's Bond was a teenager's delight where he did make his miscalculation however is assuming that we the fanboy community didn't know this and weren't just fine with it thank you. Of course the folks at Gildrose are to blame as well. Knowing that they were asking an author who's most famous work at that point had been a parody of James Bond to take over the franchise. So Gardner wanted give us a James Bond who lived a real life, had a real job complete with real problems. Hell we can live our own lives for that. Give us the sinister megalomaniac who finances his operation with bird shit, Illegal French brothels or stolen pirate coins. A decent dose of action and beautiful woman preferably with some physical defect like a broken nose. Hell she can even be Lesbian as long as she goes straight at the end and sleep with our hero. Yes Fleming books were a teenagers delight and we loved them for that very reason.

Gardner's views on what he felt would make a better James Bond series also seem to lend some credence to my belief that in his last Bond novel Cold fall He made Bond such a womanizing prick to point out what he felt was the silliness of what the Franchise was and what the powers that be still still wanted. But before we got to that somewhat sad end of the Gardner era he got to write one Bond novel his way The Man From Barbarossa.

The first thing that struck me reading the book is that this was Gardner's favorite Bond novel and Brokenclaw which came the year before was his least favorite and yet structurally they seem to be pretty much the same sans Brokenclaw's violence. However to say there isn't a different structure here than the norm would be absolutely false. The Book starts different than any other James Bond novel with a short history lesson of Russian violence against Jews in world war 2. This would play a huge part of the plot in the first half of the book and then seemingly disappear as the villain Yevgeny Yuskovich's real plan is returning the Soviet Union to communism, helping Iraq win Desert Storm and then bombing Washington D.C. In other words he's pretty much the same megalomaniac we get from Fleming's teenaged delights. The main thrust of the book has Yevgeny Yuskovich's group the chushi pravosudia (Scales Of Justice) staging the fake war crimes trial of an elderly Russian accused of atrocities towards Jews in WW2. Even the man on trial is not the real war criminal but a doppelganger. The set up for the trial, the kidnappings and the back story were more interesting than the actual fake trial. Bond on loan to the Russians and also working with Mossad has infiltrated the group and is working as a camera man. It's all a ruse of course as The Scales of Justice have bigger fish to fry. The Man From Barbarossa is not the escapism novel that so many of Fleming's were. In exchange for exotic locales, shoot-em-ups and broads you get... well politics. The villian's main motivation is political. The Scales Of Justice, Yevgeny Yuskovich's group, isn't SPECTRE who looks upon political ideology as folly one side just as worthless and the other, this is a leftist group pure and simple. If your politics are similar to mine you won't be offended. The villain's are leftest but almost comically so.

There are 2 women (mercifully not 5 or 6) in The Man From Barbarossa. Stephanie Adore is from French intelligence Bond at first doesn't trust here but does try to get it on with her. She's turn him down. (good for her!) Well until the end of the book but hey everything was done by then right? And Nina Bibikova who is good at first but alas turns out to be evil. Bond does get it on with her. In fact Nina is busy in the novel. She gives both Bond and the villain a Blow Job and incredibly Gardner uses the same line about things most wives wouldn't allow in the bedroom to describe both BJ's. Thankfully though the acts are described only in those throw away lines and we are not given a blow by blow account of the action nor does Gardner use a really bad pun like...well the one I just used. Also thankfully once Bibokova does a violent death Bond isn't "emotionally scared" so at least when he get's Stephanie at the end of the book he doesn't look like such a dick. Neither woman is a great character to say the least. Adore is just a good girl add on that every Bond book must have. She's hardly a factor in the book. Bibikova is the eye candy and again little more than a sex toy and the usual added on bad girl. Until Brokenclaw most of the Gardner novels had good female characters after Brokenclaw not so much. The blessing here is not much time is really wasted on either woman. There isn't really a Bond woman in the novel.

To say there is a lack of action in Man From Barbarossa is an understatement. Again much like the lack of a true Bond girl this isn't of itself a bad thing. The set up, political maneuvering and once again long committee meetings take the place of action. Sometimes it works just fine and it makes for entertaining reading and other times it has you seriously wanting to skip ahead a chapter. The famous Fleming sweep (something at the end of the chapter that makes you want to not stop reading) is nowhere to be found here consequently Once you start reading the book eventually it picks up and entertains. However once you stop it takes awhile to get interested again. The middle chapters a chore. No Bond books qualifies as hard reading but TMFB takes patience. It ranks with Colonel Sun in the density department though it's never really what one would call deep. In fact it's the middle of both books that take the most patience of the reader. Gardner never takes the easy way and tacks on an action scene's to jar the reader awake and this again is probably more of a good thing than a bad thing. Action scene's in books like characters usually don't fair well when they are only there to be there.

Centering a book around real events like the end of the cold war and Desert Storm is always a risky proposition. Readers like me who remember these events know exactly of the time and place and what was going on in the world that Gardner places this novel. Younger readers may happen on this book and and wonder just WTF is he talking about? This is another of Fleming's gifts. Most of his books were timeless. dated? yes! but timeless. This allows for a movie to be made in 2006 taken from a book written in 1953 that of course had been updated but the basic story was exactly the same. Unless you were a live in 1991 or are a student of history much of the plot of TMFB would mean nothing to you today. In that respect TMFB is no teenagers delight.

So there is almost no action and no Bond girl and the middle of the book drones on about a fake war crimes trial that at times can put the reader to sleep. So obviously the book is a failure right? Wrong. It works at times splendidly well, at other times just barely but almost always it works. And it works because an author always writes best when he/she is comfortable and enjoying what they are writing. That comfort level is obvious here and it's comes across in spades to the reader. It's what makes Man From Barbarossa a better read than Brokenclaw and certainly a better read than Cold Fall even if both of the later mentioned books are more 'fun" reads. Ironically enough Gardner's next Bond novel Death Is Forever would have an overabundance of death destruction and sex and glides the reader along at a much brisker pace. It also is remains a far more popular read then TMFB Which must have been Gardeners' personal white flag on what he envisioned the Bond franchise should be.

For writing The Man From Barbarossa the way he wanted to write it and giving us an entertaining political spy novel that is certainly different than the James Bond norm I am more inclined to give the book the benefit of the doubt and over look it's flaws just a little bit. Call it the George W. low expectations factor.

*** 3/4 *****

Yogi Berra Is Right

Seriously Oklahoma City was up by like 15 with little time left last I saw so when I quit watching I figured games over series tied 2-2. Then I get back and see the highlights and see that OKC melted down and Dallas won in OT. If anybody saw it fill me in on what the fuck happened to OKC.

Rapture's Over

How was it for you? Have any cool rapture stories? It got dark and rainy and started to thunder here about Rapture time which was cool but that was it. Any stories? Know anybody that got taken? Has anybody heard from Ralph? Is anybody goin to San Antone or Phoenix Arizona? Anyway feel free to share.

Jonathan Goes To the Movies: The Summer Movie Preview, Part II

With Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides due out tomorrow and only a portion of the preview complete, I'm now going to put up the summer movies that can go either way, and the ones that have 'bad' written all over it.

50/50:

Cars 2 (June 24): I've never had any doubts about Pixar - much like the English alt/rock band Radiohead, they can do little wrong, even if the latest effort isn't as great as the predesessor (think Pablo Honey, Amnesiac and The King of Limbs for the Oxford quintet, and A Bug's Life, Cars and Monsters, Inc. for Pixar) - up until now. Cars didn't need a sequel, much less one in 3D, but the first one in 2006 racked up over $400 million worldwide, so I guess this was unavoidable. This time, Lightning McQueen (voiced by Owen Wilson) is in a worldwide race, spanning three continents, and his pal Mater (Larry the Cable Guy) is his right-hand partner for the big race. Throw in some espionage, British car spies and Pixar's lush talent for visual and emotional storytelling, combined with homage to the 1960's TV show Get Smart and you have a home run for Pixar, box office wise but after Pixar brilliantly closed out Toy Story 3 in 2010, will this sequel live up to the kind of excellence we've come to expect from the animation company? I doubt it, but as I said earlier, Pixar has not made a disappointing movie yet, so i'm still going to see what they have up their sleeves on opening weekend.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides(May 20): Captain Jack Sparrow is back, minus Orlando Bloom and Keria Knightley as Will and Elizabeth and Gore Verbinski who directed the first three Pirates flicks. Director Rob Marshall (Chicago) and new characters including the terrifying Blackbeard (Ian McShane) and his beautiful daughter (Penelope Cruz) may make the series more interesting, but at the same time....they're making another Pirates movie. It should have ended with At World's End, but that made serious coin at the box-office, so of course they would make another one. Johnny Depp is always reliable as the iconic and eccentric Captain Sparrow, but how many more of these movies are they going to make before they give it a rest??

Green Lantern (June 17): On one hand: Ryan Reynolds is in the title role as Hal Jordan, the first-ever human chosen to become part of the Green Lantern corps. (Think the intergalactic cops, but with magical rings that act as the source of their powers) Reynolds is a likable person and charming, but he strikes me as a pretty-boy who lets his charming good looks do the acting for him. Plus, I simply prefer Marvel Studios to DC Comics Studios in general. But there's a very good supporting cast around Reynolds, including Mark Strong playing the good guy, Peter Sarsgaard, Tim Robbins, and Michael Clark Duncan, among others. And Martin Campbell, director of two of the best Bond films in the franchise (Goldeneye, Casino Royale) knows how to stage together and action sequence. The big question: can Reynolds pull off Hal Jordan?

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (June 29): I should know better than to put this film on my 50/50 list, considereing how the last movie, Revenge of the Fallen left a taste in my mouth I haven't gotten rid of yet. But, as I've said last time, Michael Bay knows how to pull off a slick and amazing spectacle of shit blowing up, and cities and landmarks being destroyed. This may be his finest bout of destruction yet as you'll see from the trailer:

Looks cool, right? Oh, and Megan Fox isn't in this one, so Bay's going with the logical choice of some underwear model who can stand there and look look really hot. Lets see: lingerie model? Check. Huge robots? Check. Destruction and mayhem in almost every frame? Check. Again, I should know better, but Bay knows what his audience wants to see.

Oh Joy! Rapture!

Yeah it's tomorrow night about 6 PM Pacific time. That's 8 for those of us on the plains. Blog is closed for Rapture. Open only to Mods. We'll open it again on Sunday when the fucking thing is over.

And The Race For 2012 Republican Presidential Nominee Begins To Thin Out.

Huckabee is not running. Makes Too much money at Rupertland to pass up.




No Donald either. Many of us never thought her would run anyway. This was all about publicity which he got in spades and in the last month Obama, and Trump himself really, were beginning to make him really look the fool. So instead of causing any more damage to himself he took his pub and went home.

Jonathan Goes To the Movies: The Summer Movie Preview, Part I

Jon Favreau, director of Iron Man and Iron Man 2, commented that the summer movie season of 2011 would be a bloodbath. No joke: Marvel has two new superheroes receiving the Hollywood treatment before they unveil the mother-of-all superhero movies in next year's The Avengers, Captain Jack Sparrow returns to the high seas, Judd Apatow seeks for a new comedy hit with an all-female cast, J.J. Abrams and Steven Spielberg join forces for a tightly wrapped monster flick, and the end has come for The Boy Who Lived. Here's the good, the bad, and the ones that can go either way in summer 2011.

Must see on opening weekend:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part II (July 15): After 11 years, 8 movies, 4 directors and composers, 2 screenwriters, and the near-endless UK talent that graced the movies, it finally comes down to this: one last battle between Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) and the sinister Lord Voldemort (Ralph Finnes) comes to the shores of Hogwarts School of Wichcraft and Wizardry, and no one within the walls is safe. For the filmmakers and actors who worked on this, its the end of a long journey which has amassed over 5+ billion worldwide, the highest-grossing film series ever made. For the fans (myself included), its the end of an era which started back in the late 90's when J.K. Rowling released her game-changing novels and in 2000 when she gave Warner Bros the greenlight to make the movies. For AMPAS, its the last chance for the voting body to recognize the accomplishments of the series. Will they this time? Regardless, expect Part II - converted to 3D - to become something we haven't seen in a long time (Ok, since 2009 when James Cameron released Avatar): a worldwide event.

The Tree of Life (May 27): Potter-legions will be out in force for DH II, but indie film-goers and the critics will be going gaga for writer/director Terrence Malick's long-awaited epic American drama about a man (Sean Penn) going through an existential crisis as he tries to coming to grips with his iron-willed father (Brad Pitt) and his place in this world. If you've seen the trailer, then it maybe safe to say that the imagery is lovely, but what does this have to do with the story? I have no idea, and Malick isn't squealing either, which makes this awaited release all the more exciting and high atop my list. In a season that offers big, loud dumb action and unnecessary conversions to 3D, it's refreshing to see a world-class filmmaker like Malick excite and engage his audience through storytelling, compelling acting, and striking visual imagery.

Super 8 (June 10): Much like Malick's Tree of Life, J.J. Abrams' latest, like all of his films, are being kept under wraps. What we do know is that Super 8 is a throwback to Spielberg's (who is producing the film) earlier works about children coming of age and monsters running amok in small towns (Close Encounters of the Third Kind, E.T. - The Extraterrestrial, The Goonies). And, like the former, it makes me even more excited to see what J.J. has in store.

The Hangover Part II (May 27): In 2009, Phil (Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed Helms) and Alan (Zack Galafinkis) took down Vegas looking for the groom-to-be. This time, Bangkok is next after the boys lose Stu's soon-to-be brother-in-law after a drunken, wild night on the town. Gee, what a surprise you're thinking, but you know the old saying: if it ain't broke, don't fix it. I'm confident the dynamic between Cooper, Helms, and Galafinkis isn't broken, so I can't wait to see what kind of madness these boys will be in.

Captain America: The First Avenger (July 22):Confesssion: I thought both Thor and Captain America would be huge letdowns. That was before I watched Thor and was surprised with its fantastic visuals and Shakespearean-type conflict between father, son, and cunning brother. Marvel Studios reminded me that story and character development are at the heart of the comic book movies they've helped bring to life. Re-watching October Sky, Joe Johnston's period piece drama about the Rockey Boys of Coalwood, West Virginia, and how he made an old school melodrama without overdoing it, made me realize he's perfect for telling the story of Marvel's first Avenger. Plus, this is where Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, and Thor come full circle, if you've been following the backstories hidden within the last 4 movies.

Cowboys and Aliens (July 29): The best of all worlds: James Bond and Indiana Jones together in the old West, battling aliens. Jon Favreau (Iron Man) is directing, Brian Grazer and Ron Howard are producing, and Steven Spielberg is executive producer. Oh, and the geek/sci-fi princess, Olivia Wilde is the beautiful girl who's in love with the mysterious drifter who hold the key to stopping a massive alien takeover. Its crazy, absurd, and totally stupid. That's the point. Its a movie that won't take itself seriously, because it knows what it is.

Blogger's Back.

hard to believe in this day and age that a thing like Blogger could be down for 24 hours but it was give or take an hour. Anyway It appears to be back. Now if I only had something to say...

Any posts that were made in the last 48 hours are now gone. Man If I actually posted anything I would be pissed.

The Koch Brothers Own Florida State

I won't be sending any children to FSU

A conservative billionaire who opposes government meddling in business has bought a rare commodity: the right to interfere in faculty hiring at a publicly funded university.

A foundation bankrolled by Libertarian businessman Charles G. Koch has pledged $1.5 million for positions in Florida State University's economics department. In return, his representatives get to screen and sign off on any hires for a new program promoting "political economy and free enterprise."

Traditionally, university donors have little official input into choosing the person who fills a chair they've funded. The power of university faculty and officials to choose professors without outside interference is considered a hallmark of academic freedom.

Under the agreement with the Charles G. Koch Charitable Foundation, however, faculty only retain the illusion of control. The contract specifies that an advisory committee appointed by Koch decides which candidates should be considered. The foundation can also withdraw its funding if it's not happy with the faculty's choice or if the hires don't meet "objectives" set by Koch during annual evaluations.

David W. Rasmussen, dean of the College of Social Sciences, defended the deal, initiated by an FSU graduate working for Koch. During the first round of hiring in 2009, Koch rejected nearly 60 percent of the faculty's suggestions but ultimately agreed on two candidates. Although the deal was signed in 2008 with little public controversy, the issue revived last week when two FSU professors — one retired, one active — criticized the contract in the Tallahassee Democrat as an affront to academic freedom.

Lakers Go Out On The Bottom.

About a quarter past 2 CST I got comfortable turned on the old tube, in this case literally the tv in our computer room in is a pre 2000 Curtis-Mathis 19 inch top o the line. No High Def for me. I was getting ready to watch game 4 of the Los Angeles Lakers-Dallas Mavericks series. That's when I was in formed that at 3 my nephew at a baseball game and we were going. I was less than thrilled to say the least. It may have been the last time today I didn't have a smile on my face.

So Far this series had gone unbelievably better than I could have ever imagined. Dallas was up 3-0 on the bickering Lakers. Gasol, Bynum and Odom were doing nothing when they got their hands on the ball which was less and less since Kobe was ignoring them and playing hero ball. Even though the Lakers faced an 0-3 deficit and had blown an 8 point lead late in game 3 I still kept saying "these are the Lakers and these are the Mavericks." At some point LA is not going to go out like this. Even if they don't do the impossible they'll win one in Dallas and one in LA before going out." Of all the things you can say about the Lakers and their fan base they were a franchise with far too much pride to be out and out punked by a second rate choke organization like the Mavs. They might not win but they wouldn't go out like chumps.

Uh yeah. I heard the first quarter on the radio and Dallas had a small lead but LA was hanging in the game. However the seeds of the oncoming Laker collapse had been planted. The only Laker doing anything in the first quarter was Kobe. No basketball team can win in the playoffs 1-5. From that point I had no idea what was transpiring in the game because I was watching 8 year olds trying to play Baseball. Just for your information little league baseball blows.

By the time I got back to the car, we were going to my brothers for burgers and a family gathering for my Mother the 4th quarter just started. ESPN radio said the Mavs were 12 minutes from advancing and I said cool. Then I heard the score. I let out a scream and pumped my fist to the heavens. As a hard core Laker hater things were only about to get better.

First Lamar Kardashian was called for a flagrant foul and thrown out of the game. Honestly after seeing the foul it wasn't that bad but still... Then Andrew Bynum 7 feet tall clothes-lined 6 ft J.J. Barea. He of the hella screens. Bynum was ejected. ESPN radio (ESPN RADIO!!! Laker to the core) called out the Lakers. Saying they were defending two time champions they were going out but they should go out like grown men not like this. Mike Tirico calling the game on ABC-Espn said:

"Tirico: "That's one of the biggest bush league things I have ever seen. That is TERRIBLE!"

Tirico (later): "That's one of the most bush league things I've ever seen in a game. That's DISGUSTING"

Not only were the Lakers losers in the worst possible fashion on the score-board they were now losers in the personal sense. The kind of losers some of us thought they were when they were winning on the court. This ugly classless side of the Lakers didn't suddenly surface out of frustration Saturday. Ron Artest, NBA citizenship award winner spent game 2 talking to the Staple Center crowd about how they wouldn't lose. Then when it was apparent that they were in fact going to lose he laid out a clothes-line of his own. Citizen Artest was suspended for game 3. Phylis Jackson was fined $35,000for actually bitching about the officiating.

NBA citizenship awards aside it's no secret Citizen Artest is a piece of human shit. When he played for the Indiana Pacers The "man" once started a brawl so bad the Palace of Auburn Hills that they had to end the game and clear the arena. Almost no other team in the NBA would take him except the Lakers whom seem to have no personal standards for their players. Now were suppose to be surprised that the other players have caught the Artest bug? Really?

Artest went out writing checks with his mouth that his ass couldn't cash. Bynum and Kardashian like punks. Gasol played like shit the entire series possibly because of personal issues but good ol' Kobe Kobe did nothing wrong. He never does. Never-mind that the Lakers were up by 8 with 7 minutes left to go Friday with him out of the game and as soon as he came in and took 4 bad shots ignoring teammates the game was tied and the Mavs had momentum they wouldn't lose. A truly great player (Jordan, Magic, Bird) makes his team-mates better. Kobe treats his like shit when he isn't completely ignoring them. On the plus side Shannon Brown and Luke Walton still seem like good guys. That's something.

When I finally got to a TV the game was all but over. There was about 4 minutes left and Luke "The Human surrender flag." Walton was about to come in. The Lakers had long since quit and had given up any chance of going out with anything resembling class or dignity. That the Lakers didn't put up any fight and proved to have not an ounce of pride or dignity as a competitive basketball team or as competitive basketball players was a huge surprise. Even to a supreme Laker hater like me. That the Lakers proved to not have an ounce of pride or dignity as human beings...not so much.

Happy Mothers Day

Boston 97 Miami 81

Happy Cinco De Mayo

Is Chris Making A Joke About Fox Typos Or Is This Koldy's Chris?

I think the above should read:

UPDATE 3: Osama Bin Laden confirmed dead. Video of Obama's speech after the jump.

NOT:

UPDATE 3: Obama Bin Laden confirmed dead. Video of Obama's speech after the jump.

Canadian Elections.

Canada has made the same mistake that the United States made last year went conservative giving Stephen W. Harper his first ever majority government. In some betters news the Democratic Progressive party is he minority government for the first time. I joked I was joining the Quebec nutter party because they had such an awful night and what else could be worse for such a joke of a party than to have me as their official spokesman? So Canada has a green party, a Liberal party and a DP party? Isn't this helping the Conservative cause? Just asking I really am not an expert on Canadian Politics.

"Justice has been done."

Osama bin Laden, the bastard who planned and pulled off the September 11th attacks, is taking a long dirt nap.

The mastermind of the worst terrorist attack on American soil is dead, U.S. President Barack Obama announced late Sunday night, almost 10 years after the attacks that killed more than 3,000 people.
Osama bin Laden -- the longtime leader of al Qaeda -- was killed by U.S. forces in a mansion outside the Pakistani capital of Islamabad along with other family members, a senior U.S. official told CNN.
U.S. officials have taken custody of bin Laden's body, Obama said. No Americans were harmed in the operation, he added.

I'm not the kind of person to dance and be grateful for someone's demise, but in the case of this mass-murdering bastard, I think we can all make an exception. I'll have more thoughts on this tomorrow.

Meet top Twitter #TCOT Troll Greg W. Howard Another Internet Millionaire

There is a #TCOT troll on twitter named Greg W. Howard. Here are a few facts we know about Greg. He owes $7,700 in Child support. and his credit card debt is $27,500. Oh he's also filed bankruptcy. Why Do I post this? Well Greg claims to have a 5,000 Sq ft. house with a big large pool and oh yes He's a financial adviser. Sound familiar? Why do they always own the big house with the pool? Why are they always bragging about cleaning same pool themselves? Why are they always Financial advisers? Was he a cop and a substitute teacher as well?

BTW when Greg gave his address and said to Google map it a bank came up.

Greg is pretty well know for his all around racism and douche-baggery. Quoting the blog Toilet-bugs

I’d like to introduce you to a man named Greg W. Howard. Greg likes to use Twitter a lot. At the moment he has over 78,000 tweets, the majority of which are about how much he hates blacks, gays, liberals and lazy Mexicans. He is quick to label anything other than unfettered free market capitalism as “socialist”, the strongest insult a conservative can use. He deplores socialised healthcare and all kinds of welfare, well except for the disability checks that he himself lives off.

You see, our pal Greg, the financial advisor filed for bankruptcy on March 23rd 2010.

Among his favourite choices for investment are gold (yet to confirm whether purestrain or regular), emergency rations, colloidal silver and ammunition. Bonds are a no-go for Greg-kun, evidently the Obama administration will have totally destroyed the US economy within 5 years. He also predicts a 5,000 point drop in the Dow over the next six months.

A detailed examination of the document reveals that he owes $7,680 in unpaid child support. The amount of cash he has on hand?

Not more than $32

His total credit card debt is $27,506.66 and this man claims to make a living helping other people manage their money.

Game 1 Miami 99 Boston 90.

Just what I wrote on FB.

Miami 99 Boston 90. Yes the officiating was like a Dennis Miller routine only funny and yes Stern's army brought the KY in huge supply BUT Boston didn't play well enough to win.

It wasn't until Pierce got ejected that they started playing at all. This game did wake me up though. You've been warned. All year through football season and now the playoffs I have been down right blasé Now i'm bringing it old school. Language screaming at the set. may even rearrange a book shelf or two. The beast has awaken. Tuesday can't get here fast enough.

Thoughts On The NFL Draft.

Not really just thoughts on the Nebraska players that got drafted. I love how these "experts" always grade these drafts right away as if they have some crystal ball. I figure it takes 5 years to correctly judge a draft not 5 minutes. Still they have a job to do.

BTW note to College Football News. Brett Favre second best QB in NFL history? Really? Who wrote that shit Bob Peters? I was wondering what he's been to since his D.M. Borders folded.

Anyway:

Prince Amukamara 1st Round New York Giants. Prince had no interceptions last year but a huge reason for that is few teams threw at him last year. Another reason for that is he had about three touchdowns in his hands and dropped them. Needs to improve on hands and tackling but he's rarely taken advantage off. one exception was the Oklahoma State game and Justin Blackmon who had a huge game on Prince.

Roy Helu JR. 4th Round Washington Redskins. Had 307 yards rushing a school record against Missouri and finished as the 5th leading rusher in NU history. Has great athleticism and good speed. Injury prone and tends to go through slumps. has been very good off of the field.

Alex Henery 4th Round Philadelphia Eagles. Simply the best kicker I have ever seen on the college level. Clutch to boot. Made 57 yard field goal to ostensibly beat Colorado in 2008. Missed one extra point in 4 years missed one kick last year 51 yards blocked. Has missed 2 kicks under 50 yards in 4 years. Most accurate kicker in college football history.

Dejon Gomes 5th round Washington Redskins Playmaker at safety maybe too small to play safety in NFL and need to work on his DB skills. Possibly needs to improve as a tackler. Makes huge plays.

Niles Paul 5th Round Washington Redskins. Niles will make you stand up and shout his very name for all sorts of reasons. As I have said for the better part of 3 years you have special Niles and you have special Niles. He'll take a punt back a 100 yards one minute and fumble the next on the 10. He'll make spectacular catches and drop the easiest of throws. He's a big play guy but he's mistake prone. Doesn't handle crowd criticism well though he's had more here than he should have. Not a coincidence that Nebraska's offense shut down after he got hurt last year.

Kieth Williams 6th round Pittsburgh Steelers. Great run blocker Probably needs some pass blocking work. He's a Nebraska offensive lineman. Few have had great NFl careers because of that combination.

Eric Hagg 7th Round Cleveland Browns. This one shocked me. I thought Hagg would go much quicker than the 7th round. Big play guy. Was the MVP of the defense last year. Won 2009 Gator Bowl against Clemson and Iowa State game last year. had 95 yard punt return against Texas. Played a hybrid linebacker-Safety at Nebraska called a Peso back because coaches felt they had to have him and his play making abilities on the field.

Jonathan if you want to comment on NFL draft put your thoughts here.